First of all...how can you NOT think about it?  He was your first hubby & in the military.  Statistics are now showing suicide among military & retired military are on the rise...dramatically.  I think about all those left behind in 'Nam all the time.  I think about how my "EX" took my son away; constant court battles just to see my son!  Any dramatic experience is capable of causing PTSD.  If it gets too unbearable...go see a shrink!  BTW...the word is "spouse", not "spouce".  :)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't imagine how painful it must be for you and others who knew him.

Any loss of a relationship leaves an empty space within you --you, indeed, are in the various stages of grieving.  You had a meaningful relationship for a number of year and together had a daughter; as well as maintaining contact & being on friendly, courteous terms. There are a number of books dealing with the death and dying, which might be helpful to you in understanding your feelings now.   There are grief counselors, or you might find talking with your spiritual leader helpful--not only in understanding intellectually, but dealing with the many emotions.

I would guess that first off it is because it was tragic that you think of it.  But as others have said, this is a person you were attached to for quite some time.  This is almost like the death of a best friend so it's going to cause a void.  Also, I'm wondering if you feel a sense of guilt over it.  My husband was in the military and was around many suisides during his time in.  Even now almost 8 years later he still thinks of these people and what had happened.

So sorry to hear of your loss though.  it's emotional regardless if you had stayed friends or not.

I'm sorry to hear what happened. It's probably normal to think about him still and wonder what went wrong.

If you are thinking about him every day though, and feel any kind of guilt, I also think getting professional help would be a good idea. Despite the tragedy you need to go on in life. That doesn't mean forgetting about him, but being able to accept what happened and be thankful for whatever good memories you have.

I'm so sorry.  The man was an intregal part of your life and you had a bond because you are the mother of one of his children.  There would be something wrong with you if you DIDN'T mourn his loss.  Don't let anyone tell you how long or in what manner you should mourn.  That's a very personal thing.  The sudden, tragic manner of his death makes it even worse.  The only thing that will heal your wound is time.

Yes, there is a point at which mourning could become and unhealthy obsession, but if and when you've arrived at that point is something for you and your family to decide, not any of us.