I would call the school.I would think your son is not the only child he's been showing. Kids todayhave enough on their plate without having to be exposed to this crap at 12yrs. old. I would not think you would have to give your name ,with all the drama in schools these days. As a worried parent they should just check it out. By the way I wouldn't tell my son either, no need for him to feel caught up in it.

First things first Jen... make sure to leave communication open with your son.  Talk with him openly about the whole thing... what is it what it can do (hamrful) and how to avoid it.  Empower him to make the right choices, not just hope he does.  I would bet this kid is not smart enough to show only one friend at school and has bragged to others as well so I would guess he wouldn't know that it was him "tattling".  Definitely praise you son for doing the right thing.  He could have said nothing to anyone.

Call the school... there's no need for all that in middle school.

Holy cow, I would flip.  Thank goodness your son came to you about this. 

I would call the school.  Maybe if the kid is showing it to your son, he's showing it to other boys and won't "implicate" your son as the "Snitch".  I would be afraid of repercussions but either he's smoking it or selling it to someone who is and if I was either of their parent, I would want to know.   Does that make sense?

I'm sorry your son had to go through this..it's just another piece chipped away from their innocence and I hate to see that.

I would anonymously call for sure.  Have them search the classroom a few times and I'm sure that unless the kid got smart he will get caught.

Sad that kids that young have this stuff!  When I was in HS i heard rumors about things students did but I never knew or saw any of it (I was a good kid!) 

Definitely a good time to reinforce to your son how wrong that stuff is and reward him for standing up and telling the teacher!  That is awesome!!

Thanks so much for the advice.  I think I will call the school, and TRY to do it anonymously.  (don't know if they'll let me though) 

 My son has always been the kind of kid that tells stuff, I guess I am really lucky in that respect.  When things like this happen, though, it makes me wish I could home school him. 

They will let you. I think they have to allow the anonymousness if you feel that it's for your son's protection to do so, which it would be, because chances are, the boy who has the weed is getting it from a source that is dangerous, which can cause some conflict if they find out who told, so be careful and stay anonymous, but definitely call, because the buck needs to stop somewhere and soon! Any age is dangerous, but 12 is WAY to young to be exposed to that stuff.

These things are scary, Jen.  The fact that your son trusts and loves you enough to share both information and feelings about this incident is a tremendous blessing and a credit to the way in which you are bringing him up.  He knows the situation is not right, and that is reassuring.
     Hopefully the offender has been reported before.  If the school officials are on their toes, they'll be keeping an eye on him.

I would definitely call the school.  Even if you do give your name, it is up to the school to handle it in such a way that your identity and your son's is protected. 

I called the school yesterday!  (cringes)  The conversation went fine.  I spoke with the Vice Principal, and didn't tell her who I was or who my son was.  For some reason, I'm afraid they'll find out who we are anyway.

I let my son listen to my call, so he wouldn't have to wonder what I said.  I feel like I did the right thing, especially after getting advice from all of you.  Thank You.

The V.P. said they would look into it first thing Monday morning.  I HOPE they catch him with the stuff.

I'm late in responding to this, but I think you did the right thing by calling the school anonymously and being honest with your son. Hopefully that student will get caught with the drugs.

Just feel comforted in knowing that you are not only protecting your son in calling, you're protecting any children who've been in contact with this boy! YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!

You really did the right thing by notifying the school, which could have caller ID on
the phone system--but  they should know the importance of keeping that confidential.
[our local schools have caller ID].   It is a credit to you and your manner of raising your
son--to have open communication lines & his trust.  Also, think it was helpful to your
son to really hear and know what you said to the school re this problem.

I'll let you know what happens tomorrow at school.  Thanks again for all your support.

Homeschooling doesn't seem like the answer to this though.  If your son is exposed to drugs now and is telling you everything and being a good kid, then it shows that he is learning.  On the other hand, if he was homeschooled and never exposed to it - who knows if he would have found drugs at age 18 for the first time and never told you about it b/c he was older. 

I just read the thread and will be curious what happens today. Good luck  - I agree that you are doing the right thing and I also agree that homeschooling isn't the answer in this case. Jo

Kudos to you Jasy. You're definitely doing the right thing here.

30 years ago I wouldn't have said that....... d;-)

30 years ago you would have been tattling on sparky here :-D haha

Looks like you're doing the right thing. You're doing a good job. I'll remember you in my prayers.

Nah, I wasn't dumb enough to go around showing off my bag o weed.

So what happened? Then I'll suggest another course of action since I'm getting to this post late.

That's what I'd like to know, too. . . What was the results of you taking care of the issue?

Like everyone else I hope that all is well with you and your son. I do not have children of my own, so I have to ask about the young man showing the drugs. Everyone wanted him caught and punished (indeed he should be). Your son can talk to you, he comes to you and tells you what is happening in his day. The "bad" boy needs attention as well. If your son is a good friend to this boy, and he is not just someone that your son sits next to, he could let that kid know he is not into drugs and doesnt like to see or be around them because they only cause trouble.

What if the boy showing the weed is just acting out for needed attention? Zero tolerance will only add another 12 year old to a growing list of lost souls.  I hope your son is in a school that acts in balance, and at least you and he know that keeping secrets of any kind only makes things worse. Tell your son he has taken a step toward manhood, he did what was right, even though it was hard for him, we need more young men like that. What a blessing he must be.

Thank you for letting me share.

I would call the school and tell them that not only are you concerned for the other boys welfare, but you are concerned for your sons as well. What will this boy be bringing to school next, a gun?? I would do what you have to do to get it stopped immediately.

Also I would call the Welfare Dept. in your state. Tell them what your son has told you. They HAVE to investigate it, it is the law. Who knows, maybe the parents are smoking weed or even worse in front of him.

Think about this, if you know of a child who is in trouble or in danger, and you or anyone else doesn't step in and get them help, you and they are just as guilty! ANYONE who knows of a troubled child or adult and doesn't do anything to help them, is as guilty.

I pray this gets resolved before someone gets hurt....GBY

Situations like this can be very difficult, and sometimes it's impossible for an adult to get to the bottom of things. It's possible that the other boy really did have a bag of pot, but everyone needs to be really careful about making accusations.

When I was 10, I got to school one morning and all the windows in my classroom had been shattered by rocks. Stones and glass were all over the floor. As a 10-year-old, this was an exciting change from the usual classroom activities, so I was happily pointing out rocks on the floor and being generally excited. Then, as we were seated at our desks, a girl from another class walked through the classroom and fingered me as the rock thrower.

I had absolutely nothing to do with breaking the windows or throwing the rocks, and my home was far enough away from the school that I never could have walked there as a 10-year-old. Yet, I was taken to the principal's office and sat horrified as I was accused as the vandal. Yes, I was excited about finding rocks and broken glass on the floor of my classroom. But I had absolutely nothing to do with it and the girl who pointed me out was either lying or mistaken. Perhaps she was looking for attention. I don't think I ever shook the suspicion at that school and I never received an apology.

A situation with drugs in a school is very serious but we all have to be careful to learn the truth before we jump to conclusions.

--Bob

I came back to see how things where going with this topic,  I so agree with you Bob, I know the instinct of a parent is to protect, but few seemed to care about the offender. Caution and clear thinking has to be done by the adults in this situation.

Great day dont call welfare, just because the kid may be showing weed around, doesnt mean he is going to shoot the school up.  bound4heaven, have you been to strongly swayed by those silly drug advertisements on TV?  Where is your compassion, and your desire to know what the true situation is. Only the two young men involved know for sure what happened, hopefully jasyjen's son has continued to be honest with her so she can sort out what to do.

I lost my brother(he died in 2004)because he rebelled against all those who told him he shouldnt be doing drugs and drinking, he was going to live the way he wanted to.  I wonder if we had shown just a bit more understanding of addictions, and not been so harsh toward his "bad" habits if he would still be here with us?

As Bod pointed out what people think has an effect, and even when wrong those in charge take little time to say I'm sorry.

I still hope for the best in this one,  Chad.