My DH doesn't travel, but when we relocated to Houston he left when our youngest was only about 11 weeks old and I had two other children to care for, a business and a house to sell. Not to mention taking care of everything in TN and looking for houses in Houston (via the internet). Also, it's no secret that my DH works A LOT! He has a day job, freelance writing jobs and teaching jobs so is not around much. I have also been a single parent. . . so here are my suggestions and hopefully they will help have a schedule and stick to it (for the kids) it's hard I know but you really need it so you can handle all that you have. schedule a date night when your husband does come to town -- make it the second night he will be too tired the first and it also gives him time to get back in case he has travel or work problems try to sit down and pay the bills after the kids are in bed -- better to be up 1 hour longer than to have the chaos, accidents, fighting and you getting upset that to do it with them around assign chores and make a chart -- have the kids (if you have them) help out with taking out trash, picking up toys, putting dishes away -- anything can help and at the end of the week give an award -- movie night, they pick dinner, special snacks - it doesn't have to cost much or be expensive. get help - and don't be shy asking for it. ask a friend to watch your kids for an hour so you can read a book or whatever -- write it on the calendar as ME TIME then trade off the next week and do an hour for your friend! it will help you both and it's not like asking for favors. and it's free -- remember that hour is ME TIME -- don't get caught up in doing things for the home/family you need a break now and then give yourself a pedicure after the kids go to bed or while they are gone it's amazing what pretty toe nails will do when you are walking around this summer in sandles. lower your expectations. I have the tendency to want to do it all and do it perfect. it just can't happen even with a DH at home -- do what you can when you can and trust me no one really will even notice the rest. and if they do you don't need them for friends. Also don't build up expectations of what it will be like when the DH is home -- it never lives up to them. It's tough being on your own in any circumstances - but remember you are strong and you can do it. Find friends, join groups, check out meet ups or just hang out here with all of us, we are a friendly bunch :-D Get good support, and (b) and moan to your bestest friend over a pitcher of margaritas at least once a month. (ok maybe that last part is for me) hope this all helps!

ok honestly -- the hard return needs fixed -- this was in PARAGRAPHS

Thankyou for your input.  My situation is very different.  We are both from a different marriage with kids.  I have always worked my buns off to take care of my kids from a previous marriage, and was also taking care of his kids.  Now all the kids are grown and he is on the road with the pipeline for a couple of years to pay off all our debts, which he has incurred with other situations.  He said it is turn to take care of me.  He moved me up north to my mothers home to take care of her.  She now has cancer.  This is very difficult for me, as I love her very much and I watched my father die from the same cancer.  We are buying my mom and dads home on 40+ acres and I now love it here.  I am no spring chicken myself.  I have learned to love the nature and woods and you could not move me from here now.  My husband is 10 yrs younger than I am.  He loves to be gone and explore the world.  Which I have grown ok with.   

I would see it as a temporary situation.  Be very thankful that he realizes the responsibilities of both families and takes them so seriously.  It is really difficult to have the one we love so far away.

my best advice for you is to try to stay in touch as much as possible. write love letter (they don't have to be mushy) he probably misses the everyday stuff with you as much as you do with him

 try sending emails, or surprise telephone calls.

mail cards, thinking of you

give him post cards or self addressed stamped envelopes.

send pictures to him electronically or print

It's funny how opposites attract, but maybe if he was different you wouldn't love him quite so much.  Make friends, join a support group to help you deal with your mother's illness. It will help to have friends around you that are dealing with a few of the same thing.

My prayers are with you (plus candles, crystals and best wishes) I like to cover all my bases. :-D  

 

I would say that when my hubby was deployed with the military, the one thing that was the absolute best for us was being able to communicate.  It didn't matter how just somehow everyday.  Get a good cell plan.  Does he have the ability to check e-mail and/or access to a web-cam?  When I could see mine through a cam that was the best. 

Also... just stay busy and make sure to take some time for you.  I know caring for an elderly parent... especially ill can be very taxing.  Do you have a network of friends you can just talk to when you need it?  Someone else who can come in to help with mom so you can break away? 

Good luck.  It's not an easy feat to be without your honey for so long.  Mine was gone for 2 deployments one for a year right before we got married and then 6 months in 2003.