A few years back, I went to a funeral for a little girl who had drown. So it was summer time. I put on my black dress, that is how you dressed, when I was growing up. Some had hats with the netting. I was soooo shocked when I went to this funeral, women showed up in sundress's, flip flops, some had on shorts I just couldn't believe my eyes. I am in no way a prude, I'm 46 but I still believe in dressing out of respect. There seems to be no dress code, the younger generation I don't know. My son is 26 and he dress's in a suit and tie for when the occasion calls for it. Be it a funeral, or a wedding. To me it shows lack of respect. Was it the lack of morals they were brought up with? Respect? It's just a shame. I think it shows poor judgement on our society, nobody cares but for them selves. It's turning into a sad society. There are consequences to there actions.

Our work went to Business Casual a year or so ago and I couldn't be happier.  Why should people have to dress so uncomfortably to sit in a cube all day long?  Personally, I think "dressing down" is a good thing because it shows that we don't have to go spend 100s of dollars on nice dresses and suits for every occasion. 

Now while I do think people should make the effort to dress up for such important events as weddings and funerals, I don't think it really matters in most day to day occasions.  I hate nylons, and was glad to see the trend going away from that one for sure :)  I only wore them when I absolutely HAD to.  Otherwise I wore tights or nothing at all.  

I'm all about casual - comfortable - but still looking pulled together.  So I guess I still have my standards in that I won't wear sweatpants to go to the mall and I won't wear flip flops ever (I hate those darn things!)  But khaki's or capri's with a nice top, that's a good outfit for me :)

Oh and as for the question "how does it reflect the way we view others".  Honestly it would make me more comfortable to chit-chat with someone who is business casual over suit and tie.  I like to see people "in power" in a polo and khaki's, something "regular" people wear.  You know what I mean?  

Perhaps the fact the downturn in the economy matches our dress.  I often see new dresses I would like to have, but I look at the price tag and decide I don't need to have it.  Instead I stock up on pretty business-casual shirts and I do splurge on a pricy pair of pants every so often but that's it.

I think that people should dress for the occasion. Weddings, funerals, etc. are occasions that I feel call for more thought than what you would wear to the grocery store. I have seen people at funerals in shorts and flip flops and while I know it truly is the thought that counts and not what you wear, it would be respectful to at least dress somewhat nicely for such a situation.

As far as work goes, I think whatever the dress code is, is what it is. I actually prefer people I deal with not to be TOO dressed up. I relate better to someone who is casual but well put together. Of course, that depends on the workplace but, in general, if people are dressed nicely, I don't care if they have a suit or dress on. I will notice if someone is really sloppy or wearing a very short skirt or revealing clothing in a place such as a doctor's office or insurance company but I don't get too uptight about it.  Obviously the dress code there says it's OK.

My kids dress for the occasion. They are usually casual (but never sloppy) but they dress nicely for weddings, funerals, and formal occasions. That seems to be common sense but I see so many people who think nothing of showing up at a wedding in ratty shorts and a tank top. Unless the wedding is specifiably casual, that's just rude, IMO.

In MY workplace, I wear whatever I want. I work at home or out of my own office a couple of miles away. lol. I'm da boss and I told myself I can wear jeans. But even when I go to the office, I dress as if I may run into someone I know casually. If I think I will feel embarrassed by what I have on, I change. But that's me. I LOVE to wear cool clothes so it's a fun thing for me to put together casual but nice looking outfits. At home, it's yoga pants and tanks!

I'm SO glad I found this discussion.

It seems, no, it's a fact that  many people have forgotten how to dress for certain social occasions, I  see it all the time too. I recently attended a friends fathers' wake, he was a retired fire department captain and all his brother firefighters were dressed to the nines,appropriately so. On the other side of the coin those friends and some family members paying their respects made no effort to even get out of their jeans,  t-shirts and sneakers. it looked so slovenly to me, and dare I say disrespectful? Have we become so casual and uncaring in our society that we make no effort to show some decent respect for whatever the social situation is? 

Wearing sweats while making a trip to the grocery store or running errands is a different thing, but when we can't find a moment to dress decently for a funeral, wedding or other decidely respectful social gathering then ultimately we (the collective "we") have lost respect for the way we view our own selves, SELF respect has gone out the window in many aspects of American life and it's truly sad to see it's not coming back  any time soon.

Meri asked:

"Does it matter? How does it reflect on our society? How does it affect the way the world views us? How does it affect the way we view ourselves"?

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I always dress for the occasion...in fact, if I'm at my in-laws for holiday, I'm the only one who wears a dress, that's just me.  Some of the others, in ripped jeans...I don't know.  It just doesn't convey respect to the host/hostess to me.

I'm all for casual or business casual at work though, depending on the job.  Ripped, faded, dragging-on-the-ground jeans are for DJ's 'cause nobody sees 'em :P

I attended a church wedding where a relative came from playing in a baseball game! When teased about his outfit, he protested, "I'll get dressed up for the reception!"

Shouldn't the wedding (especially in a church) be given more respect than the celebration afterward? Some people have their priorities mixed up.

I do think it says something about our society.

A few years ago the Championship Northwestern women's lacrosse squad was invited to the White House. When their picture with the President appeared on the team's website showing four players in flip flops, a brother of one of the players fired off an email to his sister that said, "YOU WORE FLIP-FLOPS TO THE WHITE HOUSE???!!!" The Chicago Tribune ran an article about whether flip-flops were appropriate for formal occasions and it started the great "flip flop" debate... There seemed to be a disconnect between what was appropriate dress for an invitation to the White House.

Until recently, presidents have shown respect for the oval office by always wearing a jacket and tie in it. I guess that is why some took offense when a picture of the current president was shown in a white shirt talking on the phone with his feet propped up on the desk of the oval office. I have wondered why it was such a big deal but I have decided that it boils down to decorum and respect. In short, it simply is not dignified. [I think that his behavior was short lived because I haven't seen any more negative press in that regard. We are all entitled to a few gaffes now and then.]

I realize that times change and so do social mores but some things do not go out of style and I think that is respect for ones self, respect for others and respect for positions and occasions that require it.

This topic was prompted by watching pictures of the heads of state and their spouses at the recent G-20 Summit. It struck me odd that our First Lady wore a dress that was bare shouldered, open backed and open in front so that nearly half of her upper body was naked. It was a stark contrast to the simple black, modest dress worn by the French president's wife, Carla Bruni Sarkozy and the stately attire of the other spouses. It made me wonder what the world is thinking about us.

In some parts of the world, modesty is highly prized and American women have been criticized for being loose, whorelike and crass. [Having lived overseas I am sensitive to this perception.] These remarmerican women and not meant to criticize our First Lady-  From what I could tell from the press, she was gracious and acted every bit the way a First Lady should act...

I was recently in Montreal with a friend.  We had attended a function that required us to be dressed in dresses and hose. We went into town for lunch and chose to sit outside. As we talked and dined we couldn't help but notice that the women were dressed, for the most part, in skirts. The few that were in slacks wore nice, fashionable slacks. They looked nice. There was an air of refinement that wouldn't have been there if they all had worn jeans and old sweatshirts. The experience gave us both pause to reflect on our own dress.  Since then, I have kicked my dress up a notch from my usual jeans and nice shirt.

I am certainly not advocating that we go back to Mrs. Cleaver days [although I am noticing more and more women wearing pearls- ha!] but I think the pendulum has swung too far in one direction and should probably settle somewhere in the middle.

Dressing "whorelike" and crass is a whole different issue on top of all of this.  Being casual and wearing jeans to a funeral is one thing, but people who dress too un-covered is another.  I never understood it and have always been modest.  I can't buy a shirt if it goes down to low unless I buy something to wear under it.  I don't get people who have shirts cut down to there or skirts cut up to here.  I see these little girls shorts that they sell now-a-days and they are SOOOO short!  I also see 5 year olds in bikini's and i think that is just plain wrong.

we are a little less dressy at the office and I'm fine with that. I still suit up for board meetings and the like.

Clothing is expensive, and we are not getting huge raisies at our place. This year, there may not be any.

I dress for the occasion but don't kill myself doing it. I worked at IBM for seven years and wore a suit and tie every day, and it didn't bother me in the least. My current job has us wearing "office attire" most days (nice shirts & slacks), with good jeans on Friday. Works for me. Weddings and funerals will have me in a nice shirt, tie, good slacks, clean shoes and at least a sports coat -- often a suit.

When I attend a business convention and work as a reporter, I'm in a sports coat, nice shirt, tie and slacks. I see dressing nicely as a way to show respect for the people I meet and interview. This sort of social/body language is what makes the world go 'round, so if wearing a sports coat and tie gets me better quotes and pictures, I'm strongly in favor of it. (I've heard comments back about how professional I look when doing my work, so it does make an impression.) This doesn't mean wearing an Armani suit and $600 shoes... just looking professional in respectful clothes.

Otherwise, I'm strictly a flannel shirt, jeans and sneakers guy.

--Bob (who can't think of a single First Lady who looked "whorelike")

I'd highly agree that dressing appropriately doesn't have to be expensive, just neat and tasteful. It gives everyone the good impression of one's professionalism and how they'll conduct themselves in the process.

You can buy quality clothes used at many places.  Dressing appropriately does not have to be expensive.   What is appropriate is a matter of the culture of the workplace, the region, the occassion....  It's a good thing.. particularly because it creates the joy of wearing comfy, casual clothes.....

ChrisJarmick said…

You can buy quality clothes used at many places.  Dressing appropriately does not have to be expensive.   What is appropriate is a matter of the culture of the workplace, the region, the occassion....  It's a good thing.. particularly because it creates the joy of wearing comfy, casual clothes.....

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Exactly !! and it makes us feel better about how we present ourselves too. weather it's a first or last impression, it matters.

I'm kind of like Bob in the way I dress.  I'm very much a jeans or shorts and t-shirt or sweat shirt kind of gal.  I spent 10 years working at EDS where they dicated whether my clothing, hair, colors, and styles were acceptable and appropriate. So I'm all for business casual or casual environments.  I always respected my employers' dress code but hated every minute of stuff black or blue suits with white blouses and matching heels.  Ugh.So I'm very much into dressing as down as possible, as often as possible.

It's not that I've forgotten how to dress up or I don't have respect for a situation, I just hate it.  That said, I'll always throw on a nice pair of slacks or khakis for a funeral or very dressy slacks and a very dressy top for a wedding but the only way you'd ever find me in a dress is if I'm a bridesmaid, in formal evening wear, or dead. LOL I know it drives my mother crazy that I wear jeans and a sweatshirt on Christmas but after all those years of wearing the frilly crap she used to torture me with, I feel I deserve it. LOL

bkovacs said…

--Bob (who can't think of a single First Lady who looked "whorelike")

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It sounds like you have a good handle on what is and what isn't appropriate.

Oh, dear! I did not mean to imply that our First Lady looked "whorelike"... I should have separated the last bit of that paragraph... will do so now so others don't get the same impression.  argh!