Depends on the situation really.  But generally I just ignore them.

I chalk it up to ignorance. Smile and tell them to have a nice day. Although two years ago, well Christmas Eve no less, a lady was standing behind me and couldn't keep her mouth shut, told me I was taking to long in line. Her husband/boyfriend whomever tried putting there hand over her mouth. Didn't work, finally I looked at her (mind you she was twice my size). I said "Boy somebody is PMSing pretty good today". Finished up and left. Good thing I had a cell phone on me, called my hubby and said talk to me until I get in the car.

But I pretty much ignore, or like I said smile, have a nice day and walk away. You don't know what's going on in someone's life to make them that way, could just be a bad day.

It depends on the situation. I worked at Dunkin' Donuts for six years through HS and college. I am almost impervious to every day rudeness. I find that if you engage a rude person, esp a stranger, you end up in a stupid fight and expend your energy for nothing. I don't know what counts as rude today. People talking on cell phones and texting instead of paying attention to their surroundings are rude all the time. I'd spend the rest of my life angry if I let them bother me...

Depends on where and when. In comments here, I get rude people thinking that I lie, I'm biased, or am paid to say what I say about a product and they make no bones about it. What I'd LIKE to say is not what I say. I stay professional and don't defend myself because i don't have to. I tell them to write their own reviews to offset my opinion. It's just an opinion and everyone has one.

In real life, I often ignore rudeness. I have had situations where I didn't when I was younger and I had some serious issues to deal with. Sometimes rude people are NUTS and I don't need that in my life.

If someone is really rude for no reason, I sometimes simply say that there is no need to be rude. That throws them off because they want to fight, I think. I don't consider myself passive in any way but I have learned the best way to deal with rudeness is not with rudeness but with simple honesty. "That was pretty rude, cutting in front of me in line but hey, you must be in a big hurry, right?" I have said that and then was apologized to and sent forward as they stepped back. lol.

It takes a lot of self control because I have a hot temper and do not like people being jerks for no reason. Being a better person than they are actually gives me a victory. 

I sometimes DO get riled though and it can get a little messy because I can really be cutting if I'm mad enough. I try to keep those remarks to a minimum and use my "Oh, no you didn't" attitude only when necessary.

It really depends on my mood.  Often I just give them a slight smile.  That usually infuriates them.  But if I'm in a particularly playful mood I'll offer them a dry remark that leaves them speechless.

Sometimes you don't have to do anything, Karma has a way of dealing with these people.

A few years back I was at Toys R Us the week before Christmas.  Let me put it this way, when I die I know I will be in Hell if I walk in and find that I am in a Toys R Us the week before Christmas BUT back to the story.

I'm standing there in the long, long line to cash out my purchases and a woman suddenly walked up, almost brushed me aside and got in front of me.  I told her where the end of the line was and she gave me a dirty look and told me to you-know-what myself.  Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor and so I turned the other cheek, waiting patiently behind her.  It was after all the season for Peace on Earth and besides, I knew something which she was unaware of:

She was in the wrong line!

She wanted to return a purchase for credit or an exchange and it wasn't going to happen in the line we were in and that is what the cashier told her in no uncertain terms when we finally got up to the cash register.  No amount of snapping or snarling moved that cashier (God bless her) and the evil woman who had shoved into line ahead of me had to walk over to an even longer line and start waiting THERE while I paid for my stuff and breezed out of the store.

AH, HOLIDAY MEMORIES!  I love them!

Be like a duck and let the water roll off your back. I have worked with many types of people and I have to say I am amazed at what will get people in "A Mood to be rude".  Just this past week a few co-workers and I had to dear with a very rude person and after they left my co-workers were all wound up and mad.  I said why let them kill your day...Look at it this way...Your not married to this person so enjoy your day and don't let people like that get ya down.

Yah, and send up a prayer for whoever IS married to them!!! :)

Who would tell anyone to f- themselves for something like that? Wow, you're right about Karma. I think I would have come unglued... good composure AnnaB!

I try to ignore it, really I don't know how to react to rudeness! Someone was just quite rude to me over the phone, and I stayed pleasant. I was thinking of hiring her to groom my dog, but this is one less customer. I tend to feel a little helpless when someone is rude, it really bothers me for some reason. I need to get a little tougher!       

My older sister can be really rude and she doesn't even know it. Sometimes I think some people just have certain personalities that tick other people off. I know my sister does. She isn't rude in a mean way really, but more in annoying, MEMEME kind of way. If I have a headache, she has a migraine. If I say I'm broke, she has bill collectors at her door. If I say I lost a couple of pounds, she'll say I'm anorexic and that just isn't normal. By the time I get done talking to her, I want to go crazy.

When we go somewhere, she is rude to waitresses and others people. Again, not mean, just so annoying. They put up with her really well. I doubt I could stand it. Nothing is right, food is isn't hot enough, it's overdone, underdone, not enough of certain ingredients, too expensive and could she substitute shrimp for croutons in the salad? NO? Why not, other restaurants do that. After all, the salad isn't cheap and she doesn't like croutons! She likes shrimp. Where's the manager? This is ridiculous. On and on and ON.

I tend to go crazy when she does that and does my younger sister but she is oblivious. I think some rude people are clueless and no matter what you say, they aren't going to change. I try to just tune them out and move on unless they hit a few certain sore spots (Don't get nasty to or about my kids, do NOT speak badly of anyone in my family, don't assume because I'm losing my hearing that I'm dumb, stupid, or handicapped, etc.). Rudeness isn't worth the energy it takes to get ticked off. Most of the time anyway. lol.

Just smile and tell them to have a great day!!  I have tried to ignore them too.

It's simple, I have one rule in life that I alwasy stick by.

It takes a lot less energy on my part to be polite than it does to be rude.  So when someone is being rude with me, I simply cock my head to one side... Smile..... And say

"You're so Pretty"  In the most pleasant yet subtly patronizing tone I can muster.  It always works because they think I am complimenting them and by the time they figured out they have been insulted I have either left, or the topic has changed ;-)

That's funny, Jonathan!  You know what that reminded me of?

Frank Sinatra used to send big huge bouquets of roses with a thank you note to someone who would write a bad review about him or his work.  I guess it was really confusing to the person who had badmouthed him!

Good Old Blue Eyes!

PattyTherre said…

My older sister can be really rude and she doesn't even know it. Sometimes I think some people just have certain personalities that tick other people off. I know my sister does. She isn't rude in a mean way really, but more in annoying, MEMEME kind of way. If I have a headache, she has a migraine. If I say I'm broke, she has bill collectors at her door. If I say I lost a couple of pounds, she'll say I'm anorexic and that just isn't normal. By the time I get done talking to her, I want to go crazy.

When we go somewhere, she is rude to waitresses and others people. Again, not mean, just so annoying. They put up with her really well. I doubt I could stand it. Nothing is right, food is isn't hot enough, it's overdone, underdone, not enough of certain ingredients, too expensive and could she substitute shrimp for croutons in the salad? NO? Why not, other restaurants do that. After all, the salad isn't cheap and she doesn't like croutons! She likes shrimp. Where's the manager? This is ridiculous. On and on and ON.

I tend to go crazy when she does that and does my younger sister but she is oblivious. I think some rude people are clueless and no matter what you say, they aren't going to change. I try to just tune them out and move on unless they hit a few certain sore spots (Don't get nasty to or about my kids, do NOT speak badly of anyone in my family, don't assume because I'm losing my hearing that I'm dumb, stupid, or handicapped, etc.). Rudeness isn't worth the energy it takes to get ticked off. Most of the time anyway. lol.

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The sad thing about being rude, thoughtless, and lacking in empathy is that eventually people get tired of you and start leaving you out of things.  In a way, she's lucky she has two such nice sisters.  I was an only child and my mother used to warn me that if I didn't care about the other kids' feelings, I might end up with nobody to play with.  A lot of people just never seem to get that.  I never felt I could just take people for granted and do whatever I wanted to them.

Your sister is being rude to you because she can.  If she doesn't change her ways now, there may be some lonely years out there ahead someday.

Anna, my sister has lots plenty of friends. Mostly they just pull away after a while because they can't deal with her ways. Laurie and I have told her point blank that she is rude and annoying and so have her kids but she doesn't see it. To her, she is just being herself. But at times, we must all have some empathy for people and we must all  think of someone besides ourselves. She hasn't learned that yet and probably won't. I love her but man, she can rile me up and make me crazy!

PattyTherre said…

Anna, my sister has lots plenty of friends. Mostly they just pull away after a while because they can't deal with her ways. Laurie and I have told her point blank that she is rude and annoying and so have her kids but she doesn't see it. To her, she is just being herself. But at times, we must all have some empathy for people and we must all  think of someone besides ourselves. She hasn't learned that yet and probably won't. I love her but man, she can rile me up and make me crazy!

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I have had friends who are as rude as your older sister; some of them have some physical or emotional disability, but that's still not an excuse for some of the willful or crass behavior they exhibit.

In Epinions I've run into some seriously rude persons and have had to deal with (hidden) Not Helpful ratings and sarcastic - even nasty - comments.  The site staff has had to intercede on my behalf a few times and 99.9% of the "troll" rudeness is gone, but enough of the rude comments and NHs are left in some of my Epinions reviews as reminders.

PattyTherre: My sister isn't that bad, but she's similar, so I know where you are coming from. The worst is when someone has a foreign accent (usually Asian or Mexican) and she talks really loud and slow whether or not they have a grasp on English. The Starbucks people roll their eyes when they see her coming with her special order. i love her, but it's really embarassing for me to witness that kind of behavior. She really doesn't understand the "me first" is really rude, and now she has a kid that runs wild and takes stuff off supermarket shelves and pushes people out of the way. When people roll their eyes and sigh, she thinks THEY are the rude ones! What?

Anonymous rude people on the internet should be universally ignored, IMO. Unfortunately in a place like epinions, or even here, I guess, they can damage what you are doing by giving you a NH and leaving their rude legacy at the bottom of your review. Engaging those people only causes trouble, esp. if you use the same moniker all over the net.

A few times when rudeness was off the charts (like Anna's f- yourself one), I have just stood there, staring them in the face, nonplussed. People just walk away while I am trying to formulate why someone would act that way. I'm a Golden Rule kind of a person. I know I shouldn't be surprised by some of these things, but I still can't fathom it.... why? I say, WHY?

To quote George Costanza on Seinfeld: "You know we are living in a society! We are supposed to act in a civilized way!"

I keep in mind that they probably don't even realize that they're rude. They just feel entitled &assume everybody else feels the same way about them.  If you just smile & agree with them eventually they usually fade away. I have worked dealing with the public almost all my life as a waitress, bartender & convenience store clerk. All you have to do is keep saying "I understand". That's all most people want to hear. Even if you can't do anything about it, they will feel that you care. Having said all that, I flipped out on a customer once. I was tending bar & a guy whistled to get my attention. I don't know why that set me off when other thingd didn't but I turned around & said "Im not a collie". He said that he whistled for his wife when he wanted her. I asked him why he didn't just yank on her leash. When he realized he had really upset me, he apologized. But that was the one time I snapped in over 30 years of dealing with the public.

Your story about the woman in the wrong line made me laugh out loud. Perfect. I'm so glad you shared it.

ohhh...this is pretty sensitive for me right now since I have one neighbor who really truly hates us and makes no bones about stating it and spreading stuff around.  She made the comment recently: "I've heard alot about you!!"  Actually she SCREAMED it and told my husband to "go grease your head!!".  He didn't care, but it was a racial slur. She happens to be Hispanic.  I told her well hell, if I don't have enough stories going around about me now at my age & stage, I better get busy!

I TRY to let my life be the example and we just ignore her now.  I feel sorry for her.

i also try to ignore rude people. i just smile at them

dddoll said…

How do you deal with rude people?

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It's always going to be a case-by-case basis for me.  It's often hard to stop the people that are rude in movie theaters, and it usually has to be dealt with by grumbling and moving on.  I am not going to tolerate it in person, or towards my family though, and that is typically where I draw the line and react.

--Ryan

I tend to deal with it by ignoring it and then complaining to my husband or whoever is with me about it :-D  I'm not very confrontational and at most I will give someone "the look" if they bump me and don't apologize or if they are talking in church.  Other than that though, I don't actually do or say anything.  It's best to just move on and ignore people who are rude. 

If it is a stranger, I just say to myself, "They must be having a really bad day and they didn't mean it the way it sounded."

If it is someone I know and they are like that a lot I try to ignore them and chalk it up to it being them. Like Patty said, somtimes people don't even realize they are being rude.

Depending on how close they are to me, I use either the driver or 9 iron....but that's just me :)

I'm dealing with a rude person right now and I am not doing well ignoring him or being the better, bigger person. This is starting to turn into a battle of wills and a power struggle. This is with someone I am dealing with in an online business capacity, no one here and no one I personally know but he is the rudest, most irresponsible person I have dealt with in a long time and my patience is wearing thin.

When ignoring, being the bigger person, and trying to be rational doesn't work, watch out. I strike back and it's really quite unpleasant. I feel that coming on. Stand back!

Rude behavior, unfortunately, seems to be very much the "in" thing to engage in.  Consider three very prominent incidents which have been splashed all over the media: Republican Congressman Joe Wilson's "You lie!" outburst during President Obama's health care speech last week, Serena Williams'  less-than-decorous outburst during the U.S. Open, and Kanye West's taking the microphone from Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech at an awards ceremony.  Rude behavior. Crass behavior. Behavior which should not be tolerated.

Unfortunately, this sort of thing is becoming more the norm as people have adopted the attitude of "my opinion and my feelings are more important than anyone else's."  Whether it is about politics, religion, social issues, and other topics, we as a nation are becoming more and more uncivil.

Now, I know that I, too, can sometimes be rude if I'm having a bad day; as human beings we are all imperfect and will sometimes let our feelings cloud our judgement.  But I'm appalled by some of the behavior I've seen over the past few years. 

It also depends on my mood. If I'm in a good, silly, type mood I'll say "Life is too short to be miserable." If I'm not in that mood I'll ignore the person or return it back and say "Why would you say something like that?" I think I got the latter from Ann Landers!