http://www.viewpoints.com/aboutme/williampinn Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:21:02 GMT Reviews by williampinn http://www.viewpoints.com/National-Geographic-review-c1f03 When I was around 13 years of age, my best friend invited me over to his house one afternoon. We were, of course, at that age where our hormones were pumping up the jam, so to speak. We were in my friend's bedroom. He whispered, "Will, guess what I got?" "What?" I replied. — — He lifted up his mattress and pulled out a stack of National Geographic magazines. I immediately grabbed one and so did my friend. We flipped through them. They had lots of ..eh hem...interesting pictures. — — When I saw my first si si fly centerfold, I must admit I was aroused. My friend's face was flush. He was looking at a picture of the spicebush swallowtail caterpillar. OK, I'll confess that we did look at pictures of scantily clad women from the Fiji islands, but they were nothing compared to the curves of the grand canyon or the shapely figure of George Washington's nose on Mount Rushmore. — — It was on that day that I lost my innocence. However, that was not a... Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:21:02 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/National-Geographic-review-c1f03 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/Escape-from-Intimacy-The-Pseudo-Relationship-Addictions-Untangling--153587-review-5b842 In the town where I lived, I could never find my true love, my princess, my mermaid-my soul mate. There were no women who even remotely resembled the perfection of Snow White, Cinderella, or Sleeping Beauty. — — When I saw the film Sleepless In Seattle, I saw two soul mates (Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks) find their way to each other and fall madly in love-even though they lived 3000 miles apart. That was when a light bulb went on inside my head. — — I would make a worldwide search for MY long-lost true love-and we would live happily ever after. I met Michelle through a nationwide dating service. I lived in California; she lived in Oregon. She seemed perfect-and why not? I had one hell of an imagination. — — We knew very little about each other but we were romance addicts so our imaginations filled in the gaps. Besides, the grass is always greener on the other side of the hill, right? She did not live in my town; she did not live in my state-she had... Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:04:00 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Escape-from-Intimacy-The-Pseudo-Relationship-Addictions-Untangling--153587-review-5b842 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/World-Trade-Center-review-8eba1 He could have shown the plane crashing into tower one. He could have shown the next plane crashing into tower two. He could have shown the third plane crashing into the pentagon. — — He showed none of that. — — He could have given us political spin. — — He gave us none of that. — — He showed us people in danger of being buried alive from a terrorist attack. He showed police desperately trying to evacuate the buildings only to be buried and trapped under a pile of rubble. — — He showed the worried, mournful expressions and dialog of the victims' families. A pregnant wife wants to scream and cry like a little girl, but stays silent so as not to frighten her little girl. Is her husband inside the collapsed building or is he outside? Is he safe or is he...? — — What will she say to her little girl when she asks, "Mommy, is Daddy ever coming home?" — — He showed police officers--with broken... Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:42:06 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/World-Trade-Center-review-8eba1 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/Black-Holes-Wormholes-Time-Machines--153420-review-c1301 Have you ever lay ensconced in your sleeping bag in the middle of a desert, and gazed up at billions of glittering rhinestone stars that lace a clear Indian summer sky? Have you ever wondered if it will ever be possible to travel light-years away to a Class-M planet, or back and forth through time? — — Black Holes Wormholes & Time Machines shows that space and time travel could really happen in the future. The book reveals the science fact behind the science fiction books, TV shows, and movies, such as Star Trek, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Terminator. — — Jim Al Khalili, an Iraqi born physicist who moved with his family to England when he was 16 years, wrote the book. He later became a co-host on the BBC's Flow of Time documentary. — — If you are a layperson like me, you will be delighted that Jim's book does not talk over your head, nor does it talk down to you. When you read it, you do not need a book cover to hide... Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:13:05 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Black-Holes-Wormholes-Time-Machines--153420-review-c1301 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-Dead-Mans-Chest--17598-review-18e56 Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb, — This film's so lame I put down my thumb; — As a pirate, Johnny Depp is quite a sight; — Too pretty to be a pirate — And in a sword fight. — — There ain't no plot; — There ain't no wenches; — There ain't no rum! — Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb! — Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb! — — Keira Knightly is a Lady who's bored; — So she holds off savages with a single sword; — Not a scratch she gets, killing dozens left and right; — Too bad pretty boy Johnny didn't join the fight. — — There ain't no plot; — There ain't no wenches; — There ain't no rum! — Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb! — Slow-ho-ho and a bottle of dumb! — — Orlando Bloom's performance was finer; — Unlike Depp, he wore no eyeliner; — He faced many trials without a scratch; — Though his girl Keira is more than his match. — ... Sun, 01 Jun 2008 17:34:02 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-Dead-Mans-Chest--17598-review-18e56 williampinn 2 http://www.viewpoints.com/Lake-Tahoe-review-fe2f4 There is a legend. There is a lake-where people from all over the world come together during times of peace or war to experience gambling, hotels, shopping, snow skiing, water skiing, camping, and the spectacular scenic views that make up the Lake Tahoe experience. — — My Camping And Training Trip — — I came to camp out and train for the World's Toughest Triathlon--a race that challenges and tortures its participants with a freezing two mile swim in the lake, followed by a grueling 110 mile bike ride, and a choking high-altitude 18.5 mile run. — — Am I totally insane?! Absolutely. — — Lake Tahoe straddles the California and Nevada border. It keeps good company with the Sierra Mountains--with altitudes as high as 9000 feet. — — It was August. I drove to the south side of the lake from San Francisco, in my clunker, which I slept in at night while I stayed in the middle of nowhere, out in the wilderness, denying myself... Sun, 01 Jun 2008 16:21:40 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Lake-Tahoe-review-fe2f4 williampinn 4 http://www.viewpoints.com/Ben-Hur-review-d9e97 Judah Ben-Hur — — Several fathoms beneath the Mediterranean sea there lies the ruins of a sunken Roman ship, and the rusted chains and shackles that restrain skeletons (formally galley slaves). One shackle in particular restrains no skeleton. That shackle belonged to me, Judah Ben-Hur (Charleton Heston). — — I was a galley slave aboard that ship, and was kept alive to serve it by rowing the oars. As I rowed the oars, I could see into the world of the writer of this review as plainly as he could see into mine. I noted his countenance as he watched my trials and tribulations. — — He was fascinated by what he saw, yet sympathetic-and definitely entertained. — — Quintus Arrius — — I, Quintus Arrius (Jack Hawkins) was the commander of the sunken ship and a Counsel of Rome. I released Judah from his chains so that he might serve me as gladiator or charioteer in the great Roman Circus. When the ship was attacked, he saved my... Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:41:25 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Ben-Hur-review-d9e97 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/Ivory-Soap-review-00251 So many soaps have washed over me, covering me with floral and confectionery scents. Aloe and lavender call out to me with scented words that only my nostrils can hear. I shun them both! For my epidermal heart belongs to Ivory Original Bar Soap. — — It has a mild fragrance that a manly man can stand, and a lather that satisfies my epidermal desires. 99.44% pure--a soap connoisseur's dream. — — Sold in packages of three, four, twelve and twenty-four at any local or chain grocery store. Such epidermal bliss, such ecstatic joy, I love rubbing my Ivory toy. — — Oh Ivory soap! I tear off your "Ivory" labeled paper coat, and hold your naked 99.44% pure goodness to my bosom! — — Lathering demands water and washcloth or hands. You slip from my fingers as slippery soaps do. I fear you will sink in bathwater but you do something new-you float! Oh how easy it is to recover my ivory soap! — — A curvaceous bar caressing my manly... Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:25:52 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Ivory-Soap-review-00251 williampinn 4 http://www.viewpoints.com/Gettysburg--151822-review-c3b10 Ode To Gettysburg — — Like the first shots that were fired upon Fort Sumter that began the Civil War, — the first shots of awe-inspiring music fire from Randy Edelman's score. — A montage of old-time photos of soldiers on the screen — during the opening credits before the opening scene. — — General Lee sent a letter to Washington thinking a Confederate victory was at hand. — Little did he know that the army of the Potomac would reunite this land. — This land of states, this land of historical greats: — Abraham Lincoln, Robert E. Lee, — each side a different dream or ideology. — — The First Day — — The North has the high ground for the first time in this war. — They suffered a defeat at Fredericksburg; time to even the score. — — Colonel Chamberlain and his men feel like they died and went to hell — as they defend Little Round Pub from the terrifying rebel... Sun, 11 May 2008 07:09:58 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Gettysburg--151822-review-c3b10 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/Black-Belt-Magazine-review-deff3 When I was a kid I studied Judo and Karate, and have always been a fan of martial arts. That's one of the reasons I like Black Belt magazine. Here are some others: This magazine has fascinating articles regarding martial arts' history, terrific self-defense articles, articles explaining different styles of martial arts and the spiritual and moral training that go with each style. — — When facing an adversary who is seven feet tall and 400 pounds of solid muscle, this magazine has taught me a sure-fire defense: Run like hell! — — Don't laugh. It's good advice from a great magazine. — — Note: The forgoing review contains exactly 100 words.... Sun, 11 May 2008 06:51:59 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Black-Belt-Magazine-review-deff3 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/The-spiritual-realm-review-5dcd0 What is the origin of all things? If we eliminate matter, energy, time and space, what do we have left? A single point infinitely small containing virtually nothing--not even time and space. A point of origin for all things including itself. — Each of us is made of an infinite number of these points. They make up the lines and shapes that we see when we look at your image. They are the essence of you and everything else. They are immaterial and spiritual. Your image, the visual element of your soul, can be captured on film. Note that your image can exist apart from your flesh and blood--your material self. — The same can be said of your voice and personality which can exist apart from your flesh when you are video taped. Perhaps someday it will even be possible to download your thoughts and free will onto a disk. Your thoughts can certainly be recorded with written words and tape. — All that I have described is possible only because you are not simply flesh and... Fri, 09 May 2008 20:46:43 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/The-spiritual-realm-review-5dcd0 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/The-Pledge-of-Allegiance-review-f26c2 "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." — I read an interesting spin about the Pledge of Allegiance the other day. Basically, there are some non-believers who believe that the phrase "under God" disenfranchises them, that the phrase was inserted during the McCarthy era (no, not the Paul McCartney era when he and the Beatles broke up). — According to the spin, the phrase was a diabolical scheme designed to alienate Communists and Atheists. I can see why non-believers might connect the dots in that way. After all, the Red Scare and the insertion of "under God" happened right about the same time Eisenhower said he had to go to the men's room. — But Ike didn't really have to pee; he and the KKK were holding a secret meeting that would turn the lives of those Commie-pinkos and no-account heathens up-side-down. "Hey, " Ike said, as he... Fri, 04 Apr 2008 09:04:13 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/The-Pledge-of-Allegiance-review-f26c2 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/The-Bill-of-Rights-Amendment-I-review-b5ba4 OK, so you're an Atheist. You don't believe in God. Well, neither do Apes and cockroaches. (LOL! Sorry, I could not resist that dig. Please forgive me, or maybe you can't cause you're an Atheist.) — Anyway, you are sick to death (and you believe there is no life after death) of seeing the word God printed on government buildings and documents. Phrases like "under God" and "in God we trust" make you feel like a victim. (So give me all your money.) You believe the Government has established a religion, and has violated your rights under the establishment clause of Amendment I of the Constitution. — In my opinion, you're a little off...like you were aiming for the side of the barn, but you hit the water tower instead, and now you're all wet. — Consider the following scenario: a teacher (who is technically a government agent...no, not like 007) stubs her toe on her desk. In front of the entire class, she exclaims, "Oh God that hurt like a son of a..." Is she... Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:08:14 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/The-Bill-of-Rights-Amendment-I-review-b5ba4 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/Viewpoints-review-646a2 So last Friday night you ate at this superb restaurant. The food was really great and the service was excellent, but the car you recently purchased from "Honest Abe's Used Cars" broke down on the way home. — But that ain't the worst of it. Honest Abe refused to honor the money-back guarantee, so you sued him, but the law firm handling your case totally messed up your case. The law firm being "Dewy, Cheetum and Howe." — You so much want to relieve your pent up enthusiasm or hostility for various products and services. Well I can totally relate. I relieved myself by writing reviews at epinions.com, but became very dissatisfied with epinions. — I decided to try Viewpoints.com, and I am so glad I did! What a fantastic site this is! — The first thing I noticed was the photo upload feature. I didn't have to post my photos at another site and then try to link to them like they make you do at epinions. — I was also impressed when I read the fine print.... Wed, 26 Mar 2008 07:39:18 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Viewpoints-review-646a2 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/Wahl-5560-500-Nasal-Ear-Trimmer-review-a60a4 Deep in the woods of the Pacific North West, a group of biologists were searching for a rare creature. "Look! There it is!" one cried out. The hairy creature walked on its hind legs much like a human. — — The scientists drew out their cameras, started filming what they thought was the infamous "big foot." Albeit, it was not big foot they were filming-it was me. — — You see, I have hair growing in the strangest places. Hair grows on my neck and everywhere on my face except for my forehead. Hair even grows on my earlobes. But that is not the worst of it. — — Deep in the chasms of my nasal passages, there was a secret conspiracy to create one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I was chit-chatting with a friend one fine sunny day. I sneezed! "Bless you," he replied. — — I was relieved that no mellifluous mucus made an untimely appearance. However, my friend's eyes grew very wide indeed. "Wow. Call the editors of the... Sat, 22 Mar 2008 06:46:14 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Wahl-5560-500-Nasal-Ear-Trimmer-review-a60a4 williampinn 4 http://www.viewpoints.com/Greg-Cox-To-Reign-in-Hell-The-Exile-of-Khan-Noonien-Singh-review-fc3b5 (Star Trek theme playing in the background) — — Kirk:(Off screen.) Captain's log, star date 123456789... Half of the Enterprise crew has disappeared into a parallel universe. I have asked Science Officer Spock to do an analysis...(Kirk on screen) Spock, what can you tell us? — — Spock: Captain, it appears that the Klingons have traveled back in time to the 21st century, and kidnapped William Pinn- — — Bones: Who the blazes is William Pinn? — — Spock: If I may continue, Doctor...William Pinn was a Viewpoints.com writer. Apparently the Klingons captured him so he could not write his book review- — — Bones: The diabolical bastards! — — Spock: For once I agree with you, Doctor. The absence of William Pinn's review has no doubt severely interfered with four-dimensional spacetime-causing his future, our present, to split into two parallel universes. — — Kirk: Spock, what does that mean? ... Sat, 22 Mar 2008 06:29:04 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Greg-Cox-To-Reign-in-Hell-The-Exile-of-Khan-Noonien-Singh-review-fc3b5 williampinn 4 http://www.viewpoints.com/Best-Of-Bread-by-Bread-review-2aef3 Her eyes met mine at the high school dance. They were turquoise blue and seemed to say "I wanna Make It With You." I soon discovered that man does not live by Bread alone-he needs a stereo too. — — The jazzy dissonant chords seeking resolution captured the essence of my adolescence. The lyrical tenor voice of David Gates calmed my nerves. I then had the courage to ask her to dance. Aubrey was her name. (Actually, it was Kim.) — — Like the sweet strings that poured themselves on me, I loved her name and I'd go a million times around the world just to say she had been mine for a day. If a face could launch a thousand ships, then there was no-one but her in my eyes and no-one but Bread in my ears. — — Slow dancing with her was such a Sweet Surrender. I thought I would be a fool to escape her. I did not want the songs or the dance to end. "Oh Baby I'm-A Want You," my thoughts shouted, as the mellow sound-on-sound harmonies of that very song played... Fri, 07 Mar 2008 19:25:34 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Best-Of-Bread-by-Bread-review-2aef3 williampinn 4 http://www.viewpoints.com/Purina-Dog-Chow-review-f92b7 Slurpy's Experience — — Howdy you all, my name is Slurpy-I am the fastest tongue in the west. I'll explain that in a minute, but first let me tell you that I am 11 years old-but my friends say I don't look a day over seven. I am a 13-inch Beagle dog. Just in case there's any confusion, the 13 inches refers to my height-not my length as you might have assumed. — — My favorite food is...well...food. I'll eat just about anything. I'm like a vacuum cleaner. When my Dad spills something on the floor-it's GONE! No need to get out the mop or broom, I just slurp it up and my stomach does the rest. I have a big tongue for slurping with, too-and I'm fast-the fastest tongue in the west! — — I am so grateful for what my Dad spills on the floor that I sometimes leave him a little gift on the carpet. I think he likes my gifts because he always scoops them up. He doesn't use his tongue, though. I wonder why? — — Anyway, there is one food in... Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:50:54 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Purina-Dog-Chow-review-f92b7 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/Suave-for-Men-Refreshing-Body-Wash-review-88362 Hello there. I have what every man wants. When my man gives me a squeeze, he has no regrets. I caress every inch of his body when we take a shower together. — — He really likes how I smell and how I feel. All he has to do is touch me and rub me all over-all over his skin. Let me introduce myself. I'm Suave For Men refreshing body wash. — — I'm soft and soothing on his skin. Isn't that right, sugar? — — My Take — — Uh...uh...uh huh... — — Suave For Men — — I'm so blue when my man first squeezes me out of the bottle, but then he cheers me up when he starts rubbing me all over. I'm very gentle and mild on his skin. — — A quarter-size amount of me is all he needs on his hands or a wash cloth. I like his hands. He has such nice hands. Do you like using your hands to rub me all over? — — My Take — — Uh...uh...yeah...I like using my hands. — — Suave For Men... Sat, 16 Feb 2008 17:24:15 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/Suave-for-Men-Refreshing-Body-Wash-review-88362 williampinn 5 http://www.viewpoints.com/The-Godfathers-Revenge-review-b3041 Dear Mark Winegardner, — — When I was at my local grocery store, your new novel "The Godfather's Revenge" caught my eye. I grabbed it from the rack and was immediately hooked by the prologue, so I swiped my ATM card at the counter, and my bank account was debited $9.99 plus tax. — — The prologue was brilliantly and artfully written, but the rest of your book sucked a big fat lollypop the size of my cousin Vinny's boil under his armpit--what you offered I could have and should have refused. Your 610 page book could have easily been condensed to around 200 pages. The plot would have moved faster and I would not have taken so many naps between chapters. You see, Mr. Winegardner, it is like this: — — When I read a gangster novel, I want lots of action and suspense. I want to read about someone getting hit or rubbed out. I don't want to read about Tom Hayden's wife's art collection. Capiche? If I want to read about art, I'll read the "The Big Book of... Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:25:41 GMT http://www.viewpoints.com/The-Godfathers-Revenge-review-b3041 williampinn 2