Reviews by ChrisJarmick

ChrisJarmick says "Best Holiday Movies including lesser known suggestions too." about Best Christmas Movies , Top Holiday Movies , Alternate Seasonal Movie Part 1 of 2

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:50:59 GMT

Best Christmas Holiday movies is a two part essay that will concentrate on several movies that may be just under your radar when you think of Christmas movies, but you should probably consider as wonderful alternative holiday fare to watch. I'll mention the most popular ones, my alternates and at the end of part 2 some so bad they are good choices too.

I'll run through the more obvious popular ones first:

The best CHRISTMAS CAROL (there are several and all are fun to watch) is the one with Alistair Sims made in 1951 sometimes called SCROOGE, sometimes called A Christmas Carol. It's based on the timeless A Christmas Carol written by Charles Dickens. The television version with George C. Scott is very good too!!! There's also the decent musical version with Albert Finney called SCROOGE which is good if you're in the right mood. I had a good time watching The Muppets Christmas Carol too; so don't forget about that one. We're also getting a 3D version in a few weeks with...

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ChrisJarmick says "More stinkers to flush out or your life and avoid!" about Worst Movies Worst of the Worst Part 10-B Extra Bad Movies

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:27:29 GMT

A few worthless movies I meant to mention in earlier parts of my Worst of the Worst essay slipped through the cracks, so I wanted to warn you about these before I continue forward with the next parts of my Worst Movies lists.

They are:

ANGER MANAGEMENT- Directed by Peter Segal

The airplane scene that was in the trailers and the first "I feel pretty" scene will probably make you laugh out loud. But nearly all the rest of the film utterly wastes Jack Nicholson and whatever talent you claim Adam Sandler has (I really enjoyed Happy Gilmore by the way). It's painful to watch flat unfunny ideas and jokes just sputter and stink up the place for a 100 minutes or so. Ugh.

BAD BOYS 2 (2003) Directed by Michael Bay

Nobody expected it to be very good but one would expect the charisma of Will Smith and Martin Lawrence to make for a fun movie, right? Bruckheimer and Bay certainly should have delivered a silly, big action instantly forgettable stunt movie for the summer crowd. Instead you...

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ChrisJarmick says "First Movies by Famous Directors Features Saturday on TCM." about Turner Classic Movies, Director Debuts, Silent Movies & More November 7 & 8, 2009

ChrisJarmick — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:41:26 GMT

What's worth watching on Cable Channel TCM aka Turner Classic Movies this Saturday and Sunday?

Loaded question. In my brief essays I can only cover part of what is offered. You look over the day and you'll find minor gems and good movies showing up day and night. Let me suggest some movies and programs to view or DVR.

On Saturday November 7, TCM has an interesting night of Director Debuts or the very first movies several well known directors delivered for our viewing pleasure. Neat idea.

Sunday TCM gives us a couple movies starring Robert Stack and then some silent movies shorts, cartoons and features about the game of baseball.

Woody Allen's first movie is technically What's Up Tiger Lilly, but 95 percent of that movie consists of a previously released Japanese James Bond spy thriller knock-off whose dialogue has been replaced by American Actors. So....that means Woody's first live action original film is 1969's Take the Money and Run.

I don't care if...

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ChrisJarmick says "Grace Kelly, Johnny Mercer musicals & Putney Swope too. Wow." about Classic Movies, TCM Movies, Controversial Cult Movies, Grace Kelly, Johnnhy Mercer Nov. 4 to 6, 2009

ChrisJarmick — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:13:11 GMT

Turner Classic Movies explores diversity in film the next few days. And I mean in every way you can think of. The highlight for me over the next few days at TCM are the cult movies showing late Friday Night. Two controversial gems directed by Robert Downey, yes, Iron Man Robert Downey Jr.'s dad. He was responsible for the low budget bitingly sarcastic once x rated comedy called Putney Swope from 1969 and for the quirky, some though blasphemous Greaser's Palace. You want to see something different?

Before we get to these movies:

Movies featuring the lyrics of Johnny Mercer are the spotlight on Wednesday Night. On Thursday it's movies with Grace Kelly followed by movies that have plots based on well Princesses that will remind you of Grace Kelly. I like the way the programmers think at TCM. Then on Friday night they call their two spotlight movies End of the Line denoting last Kings, Czars and/or Emperors.

It's famed song lyricist Johnny Mercer's 100th birthday...

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ChrisJarmick says "Drag Me is a Hell of a Lot of FUN for Raimi's horror fans." about Drag Me To Hell : Unrated Directors cut

ChrisJarmick — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:09:43 GMT

Sam Raimi who delivered 3 Spiderman box office blockbusters, got his start making very low budget movies that were full of innovative, imaginative, and quite over the top special effects in Evil Dead. It's been 17 years since he's made Army of Darkness the third is in his Evil Dead trilogy.

Drag Me To Hell was delivered to theaters as a PG13 gift to his fans, in the hopes the under 16 crowd would flock to his campy horror tale.

The film bombed at the box-office. The unrated DVD is at least close to the wild ride of a movie his fans wanted to see. It's full of gross outs, involving insects and maggotts and arms shoved down people's throats and slimy dentures flying about too. There's some decent set pieces, decent special effects, some chuckles and a good ending.

Drag Me To Hell is a good Halloween movie.

Reasons to see Drag Me To Hell

1. Sam Raimi directed. He hasn't directed a horror movie in many years and that's good news for his fans.
2. It's not a slasher...

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ChrisJarmick says "Horror Movies, Ghosts, Psychos, Monsters, Karloff, Price & More" about Classic Horror Movies , on Turner Classic Movies Halloween Movies Vincent Price, Mad Scientists )ctober 31 2009

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:10:30 GMT

The marathon of Horror movies for Halloween on TCM continues throughout the day and evening. 10 31 2009.

Airing at 3:00 a.m. on the West Coast is a superb ghost story from 1948, The Woman in White. It has been filmed several times but this was the first and best sound version of the novel by Wilkie Collins. You get some murder, hypnotism, crazy stuff with a cast of eccentric, odd and perhaps downright evil characters. Walter (Gig Young) sees a ghost that warns him not to go to the Limmeridge House. He's being paid to teach drawing and art there. He meets Laura (Eleanor Parker) who looks like the beautiful ghost he saw. Parker gets to play identical first cousins in the film and then there is the evil Count Falco played at his scene chomping best by Sydney Greenstreet. You'll also find Agnes Moorehead, Alexis Smith and John Emery along for the ride. Wonderful film, DVR or TIVO it.

This is followed by one of the most successful omnibus movies ever made 1945's Dead...

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ChrisJarmick says "30's era movies then the Horror begins with Karloff, Psycho Cult" about Classic Horror & Turner Classic Movies; 30s flicks then Karloff, Psycho, Zaat & more October 29 & 30 2009

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:10:22 GMT

Turner Classic Movies Tonight October 29, 2009; 7 films in the TCM prime time spotlight called: Life During the Depression. Then movies for Halloween with some good Karloff movies, psychological suspense thrillers, Psycho and a couple of baaaaad movies late night. BOO!

I haven't seen most of the films screening tonight but they are showing the dated Frank Capra gem, American Madness from 1932 which stars Walter Huston, and Pat Obrien in which a banker fighting to keep his independence fights to protect his customers. A great fantasy film..hero banker!!!! Populism and Capra Corn which premiered during the depression and seemed almost like propaganda for the then young Bank of America (who built their reputation on a willingness to loan money to small businesses). Pure schmaltz...but fun. It airs at 6:30 p.m.

Other films shown tonight include (5 p.m. on the West coast) Faithless from 1932 that was supposed to make a star out of Tallulah Bankhead (she had a reputation...

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ChrisJarmick says "You might hate yourself for liking it, but it's just a movie." about Paul Blart: Mall Cop

ChrisJarmick — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:09:22 GMT

You may hate yourself a bit, but will find it difficult to resist liking Paul Blart; Mall Cop. And I say this as someone who does know better. I don't like Adam Sandler movies and I really find most overly manipulative gimmick movies deplorable. This one features a never-ending barrage of 'fat' jokes, scenes scenes involving child endangerment, an utterly formula script that could have been a bad late 60's live action Disney film given a Pauley Shore update and of course it is utterly implausible. It's also a 'dumb' comedy and features lots of unimaginative slapstick.

So why didn't I throw up? I mean it's produced by Adam Sandler and not surprising follows Sandler's comedy formula. There's an absurd amount of forced pathos, there's an unlikely love story, there's two dimensional characters, there's old. old jokes and tons of embarrassment type humor.

Kevin James is more portly here than he was in his CBS sitcom King of Queens but he's likeable in that Chris Farley, John...

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ChrisJarmick says "Depressingly Bad Movies you should never have to watch." about Worst Movies: Worst of the Worst Part 10

ChrisJarmick — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:07:59 GMT

Worst Movies; Worst of the Worst Part 10

More movies that you should avoid seeing. There's thousands of movies that aren't very good that are better than any of these. Really. I suffered through these... perhaps so you would have to. If you want to name a park after me for my public service, that's very nice of you.. but really just click on the Helpful button if you enjoy reading this.

New Years Evil (1978)

One of the slew of bad films they made really, really fast to cash in on Halloween. Budding film producers said to themselves...ooh... slasher movies with holiday themes we can do that. A maniac kills one person an hour at a new years eve party and a disc jockey keeps tabs not realizing she is on his list. OOOOH.... Sub-par late 70's metal music makes it even more unbearable. No style, no suspense, a little gore... that's it.

Night of Dark Shadows (1971)

If you remember and liked t.v.'s Dark Shadows at all, you liked the character of Barnabas Collins. It...

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ChrisJarmick says "Double Flusher movies you'll want to avoid. " about Worst Movies: Worst of the Worst Part 9

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:53:47 GMT

Worst Movies, the Worst of the Worst now in it's 9th installment features worthless movies that are not interesting or fun or of any value whatsoever. If you need a movie to help you stop watching movies watch a few of these terrible wastes of time.

Before I spotlight a half dozen more awful turkeys that you should avoid watching; let me whip through a few dozen lousy movies that you'll be glad you didn't waste your time trying to watch.

Play it as It Lays 1972, Oh Dad Poor Dad, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feeling so Sad (1967) Decent play makes a bad movie. , At Long Last Love (1975) Burt Reynolds and Cybil Shepherd sing Cole Poter, a very painful bad idea, Lost Horizon (the musical 1973 version that's worse than a terrible junior high-school play), Jonathan Livingson Seagull, Tidal Wave the Japanese try to do a disaster flick and recruit Lorne Green to shoot some American scenes like they did with Raymond Buff in the American release of Godzilla, Dondi (1961) if Barney...

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ChrisJarmick says "60's & 70's cutting edge & cult movies, horror and Leslie Caron." about Best Movies , Turner Classic Movies, Leslie Caron, 60's 70's rule breakers, Psychic Powers & More October 26 to 28, 2009

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:04:14 GMT

TNT shows us more Leslie Caron films on Monday Night, Movies with Psychic Powers on Tuesday Night and controversial late 60's, early 70's counter-revolution films on Wednesday night. Read all about it....

Monday Night the focus is on Leslie Caron who stars in 4 movies starting at 5 p.m. 1952's Glory Alley, 6:30 p.m. it's 1971's Chandler which isn't a great movie but has the always watchable Warren Oates and Leslie Caron then there is the 1966 comedy Promise Her Anything which was directed by Arthur Hiller and stars Warren Beatty, Caron, Bob Cummings and Kennan Wynn which airs at 8 p.m. followed by Rudolph Nueyev in Ken Russell's 1977s box office flop biopic of Valentino.

Tuesday evening after three excellent Westerns (1954's Robert Aldrich directed Vera Cruz with Gary Cooper, and Burt Lancaster; 1958's superb Anthony Mann classic Man of the West with Gary Cooper, Lee J. Cobb and Julie London; 1952's Oscar Winning High Noon directed by Fred Zinneman, starring...

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ChrisJarmick says "Gothic Thrillers, Somerset Maugham, Meteor Movies. Oct 23 to 25." about Best Movies; Turner Classic Movies

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:32:22 GMT

Sunday the 25th TCM declares prime time is Meteor Night; SaturdayNight the 24th Movies based on the works of British Author and playwright, Somerset Maugham are featured. Friday Night it's Gothic Thrillers.

Friday the 23rd, one of the best suspense thrillers you'll ever see 1955's Night of the Hunter airs at 5:00 p.m. it stars Robert Mitchum who pretends he's a preacher and marries a crooks widow (Shelly Winters) while searching for some hidden money. It's the only film Charles Laughton ever directed. He knew he would probably never top it.

This is followed by 1946's moody gothic Dagonwyck staring Gene Tierney and Walter Huston with Vincent Price. Then at 9 p.m. is Hitchcock's classic Rebecca from 1940 starring Laurence Olivier, Joan Fontaine, George Sanders and Judith Anderson. At 11:15 having nothing to do with the Gothics, is nifty thriller from 1968; Pretty Poison starring Anthony Perkins, Tuesday Weld and Beverly Garland.

Saturday, October 24th airing at 5 p.m. ...

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ChrisJarmick says "Pitifully Bad Movies to avoid seeing at all costs" about Worst Movies Worst of the Worst Part 8

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:32:56 GMT

IT'S THE WORST MOVIES WORST OF THE WORST PART 8. They said it couldn't be done. They thought no person could sit through so many worthless and awful movies and live to tell about them. Well not only have I survived years of torture but I'm on a mission to help others avoid wasting their time watching garbage like the movies I will mention.

Sure I'd like a special medal, lots of money and a park named after me in honor of my public service, but a few people clicking the helpful vote button will do for now.

Killer Party (1986) Had an extended Paul Bartel cameo in it. He made a couple of interesting films like Eating Raoul and appeared in several odd and sometimes good movies. Unfortunately he would also show up in the bottom of the barrel drek like this. You get a touch of sex and a little gore in the by the numbers slasher movie where a bunch of Sororioty girls spend a night in a haunted house in order to join up but there's a killer on the loose and... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

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ChrisJarmick says "Putrid Movies too toxic to watch." about Worst Moviesl Worst of the Worst Part 7

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:04:05 GMT

Lucky part 7 of the Worst Movies : Worst of the Worst round-up that I've decided to do in plenty of time for both Turkey day and the gift giving holidays. These are lousy, rotten movies not worth watching. They aren't fun, interesting and perhaps they are worth reading about for a few seconds so that you never make the mistake of renting or buying one.

If you ever see for instance, in a DVD bargain bin a used copy of this movie by Wes Craven for 1 dollar and wonder if for a buck it would be worth buying and watching.... well if it's

The Hills have Eyes 2 (1984) Director: Wes Craven

The answer is no no no. At least not the 1984 version. I really liked Hills have Eyes which came out in (1977) and had that loveable incestuous cannibal family (run by the adorable Papa Jupe with the face scarred by an axe) who terrorized unfortunate tourists in the desert... In the sequel a bunch of kids traipse around in the cannibals territory and mostly get picked off one by one, after proving...

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ChrisJarmick says "Rotten Movies best buried and forgotten." about Worst Movies; Worst of the Worst Part 6

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:34:55 GMT

Just like Leonard... the Worst Movies has a part 6 and if you get my rotten joke, then I'm sorry that you too have been exposed to terrible movies like Leonard Part 6 ( A Bill Cosby mistake).

Here's some more movies you should not waste your time watching and should certainly not waste your money renting or buying. If you hate someone bad enough to give them one of these movies, you probably should donate the money you spent to charity.

Let the suckage continue:

Grease 2 (1982) Director: Patricia Birch Starring: Maxwell Caulfield, Michelle Pfeiffer, Adrian Zmed, Lorna Luft, Didi Conn, Eve Arden, Sid Caesar, Dody Goodman, Tab Hunter, Connie Stevens

Greedy Paramount Pictures returned to Rydell High School in hopes that greased lightnin' would strike twice. It didn't. It wasn't based on a successful Broadway show. It didn't star John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John and it had mediocre songs and lame choreography. It features one of Michelle Pfeifer's first performances-but it's a big...

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ChrisJarmick says "Crumby Movies you don't need to see." about Worst Movies : Worst of the Worst Part 5

ChrisJarmick — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:08:44 GMT

Welcome to Part 5 of Worst Movies Worst of the Worst

As part of my public service to movie buffs, film snobs, flicker geeks and cineastes I continue my list of worthless movies. Make sure you're paid very well to watch any of these or do yourself a favor and cross the street quickly to avoid coming into contact or even close proximity with these turkeys.

The Friday the 13th series is a good place to start and I'll suggest that there was some minor merit to the first two installments of the Jason Voorhees story. Then...to cash in on the supposedly new and improved 3D revival of 1982 we were given

Friday The 13th Part 3 (aka Friday the 13th 3-D) (1982)

Director: Steve Miner Starring: Dana Kimmell, Paul Kratka, Tracie Savage, Jeffrey Rogers, Catherine Parks, Larry Zerner.

Jason wearing his hockey mask is again carving up more young people. Thanks to the short-lived resurgence in popularity of 3-D (three dimensional) films in 1982, moviegoers who wore special glasses could see the knives...

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ChrisJarmick says "Worthless Bad Movies to Avoid Watching part 4" about Worst Movies ; Worst of the Worst Part 4

ChrisJarmick — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:56:36 GMT

Glad you could join me for another walk down massochist lane as I remember bad times watching The Worst Movies of all time. Ugh.

Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time watching any of these. Don't rent or buy anyt of these unless you want to show someone you really hate them.. then wrap one of these up as a gift.

Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
Director: Courtney Solomon Starring: Jeremy Irons, Justin Whalin, Marlon Wayans, Zoe McLellan, Thora Birch, Kristen Wilson, Richard O'Brien

Already we want to erase this horrid thing from our memory. The cast over-acts atrociously (Irons), or in the case of Wayans, is actually more annoying than Jar Jar Binks on a drunken binge, in this horrid fantasy about a teenage princess who takes the throne after her father is assassinated. She declares everyone on the planet shall be equal and the ruling rich class revolts and tries to kill her. It is one of the movies so bad you will get angry and possibly hurt yourself throwing something at...

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ChrisJarmick says "Lousy movies you should never consider watching. Part 3." about Worst Movies ; Worst of the Worst

ChrisJarmick — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:35:41 GMT

Welcome to the 3rd installment of WORST OF THE WORST MOVIES. I wish I could tell you this is the last time I will have to tell you about lousy movies that are not worth watching, but it won't be. There will be 10 to 15 more installments to come...at least.

These movies are not the kind of fun campy baaad movies that sometimes are enjoyable to watch like Plan 9 From Outer Space or Mesa of Lost Women or Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. No.. these are the equivalent of cinematic garbage that is festering in a corner of your kitchen for several weeks that unpleasantly greets you when you arrive back from vacation.

Avoid these things and if you see one of them... put it into the trash and immediately take it outside for disposal. Spending any time with these movies is a waste.

Cobra (1986) Director: George P. Cosmatos Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen, Reni Santoni, Andrew Robinson, Lee Garlington, John Herzfeld

Sly could not figure out how he could make the dull cliché's...

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ChrisJarmick says "Truly Lousy Movies to Avoid watching." about WORST MOVIES ; Worst of the Worst Part 2

ChrisJarmick — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:02:02 GMT

WORST MOVIES, WORST OF THE WORST will list movies that no one should waste their time watching.

These Worst Movies are not the 'fun' or 'campy' kind of baaad movie or 'worst' movies. These are lousy movies to be avoided.

We aren't talking Ed Wood Jr. here or something that's made watchable by the MST3000 crew either.

These are movies to avoid. If you break down and find yourself tempted to watch these... go find a copy of Girl in the Gold Boots, Plan 9 from Outer Space, or the worst Adam Sandler movie you can think of. You'll have more fun watching them than any of these.

Avoid these movies. Don't rent them, watch them or buy them.

I've suffered through them, taken one for the team, so that you will not have to. All I ask in return in thanks is a helpful vote.

Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979) Director: Irwin Allen Starring: Michael Caine, Sally Field, Telly Savalas, Peter Boyle, Jack Warden, Shirley Knight, Slim Pickens

No one was actually demanding...

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ChrisJarmick says "Awful, Not Fun, Wastes of Time." about Worst Movies: Worst of the Worst part 1

ChrisJarmick — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:35:42 GMT

WORST MOVIES, WORST OF THE WORST will list movies that no one should waste their time watching. These are not the 'fun' or 'campy' kind of baaad movie or 'worst' movies. We aren't talking Ed Wood Jr. here or something that's made watchable by the MST3000 crew either. If somehow a few minutes of these movies seems somewhat appealing in either a good or bad way..to you .assume that you are seeing the only part of the movie that could possibly be considered worthwhile in some way.

In other words, avoid these movies. Don't rent them, watch them or buy them.

I've suffered through them, taken one for the team, so that you will not have to. All I ask in return in thanks is a helpful vote.

An Alan Smithee Film-Burn Hollywood Burn(1998) Director: by Alan Smithee (aka Arthur Hiller and Joe Eszterhas) Starring: Eric Idle, Ryan O'Neal, Sylvester Stallone, Whoopi Goldberg, Jackie Chan, Coolio, Joe Eszterhas

I realize the cast has a great appeal and it just seems impossible that...

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