eHarmony.com Review

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Overall 2.17 of 5 view all 53 reviews

doctork
Palm Bay, FL

Much hype but lies and big ripoff

a kid at heart, a reader, not rich, I believe in honesty, expecting good, fair service, quality conscious, appreciative of good service, Every day computer user

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Pros

lots of advertising, well known, claims great success, increases odds for meeting eople

Cons

wears one out going through process, doesn't consider income or, doesnt include sex appeal, volume referrals, not quality, does not consider appearance, too much hype, countless unmatched referrals, does not follow prefferences stated, 75+% of referrals never respond, canned questions are ridiculous

JAN

2008

E HARMONY OVERHYPPED

E HARMONY, the largest dating service, at least in the US makes many claims,especially about the values and amount of good matches one can get by following its guidelines, which including answering varying sets of questions, some with canned answers before there can be direct contact, even anonymous. Extols its many virtues and large number of referrals that members can get. Seems like the real McCoy.

In reality, this 68 yr old single male, with Ph.D., living in county with 500,000+ people yet not as prominent as Orlando, West Palm Beach-Miami, Tampa-St. Pete or Sarasota/Ft. Myers has had very limited luck. I have received over 650 referrals of nice ladies over a six month period. A large number did not meet the stated criteria I had indicated including body size or appearance, geographic location or amount of money they expected the matchee to earn. Many were sent from areas outside my 200 mile travelng radius.

Chemistry is considered the most important aspect when initially screening for a mate. Despite countless stories to this effect, E Harmony does not include chemistry or looks as a criteria.. Many matches have nothing to do with one's stated preferences including educaion, religion, interests or geographic location. Moreover at least 78% of the referrals I got never replied to my inquiries, even with prompts. The ladies/men lacked the common courtesty to even reply if not interested or try answer the first set of questions. When I said something about the poor matches and lack of communication, more referrals were sent, without regard to stated preferences.

Quantity is not quality. Setting criteria that are ignored is the same as going to buy something and a store offers something very different, proclaiming it to be the same. FALSE.

I had some ladies answer one or more sets of the questions and then stop the process. Many of those referred to me did not take the EHarmony process seriously despite mone paid to participate.

I had maybe five good dates. Two of these were ladies living more than 3 hours driving distance one way. Some had ghost writers preparing their answers. A few went on dates where I spent lots of money on dinners and didn't even give a courtesy thank you. There were too many mismatches. Lots of women viewed my age, income or location negatively yet few stated this, if/when they even answered the first set of questions. A few times, just before getting to the stage of meeting, I had the rug pulled out by damsels who couldn't read or suddenly changed their tune.

Without prolonging the agony, I state that if one is the right marketable age, lives in the heart of a big community like Miami, Tampa, Chicago or New York, has the right education and income as well as looks like a movie star--this person seemingly has a good chance of meeting a few right people. Change any variable and the success rate dropped greatly. To deny that chemistry is a factor people consider is naive at best and more descipable.in the long run. There are promoters who say E Harmony is the greatest.

From my own personal experiences as well as those of others, especially of the opposite gender, I consider E Harmony as the worst dating service. One gets E Frustration and E Annoyances in participating, at best. With my limitations stated, I suggest most look elsewhere or greatly lower their expectations.

Last edited on Jan 08, 2008

eHarmony.com is not recommended by doctork

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Comments about doctork’s Review

In response to escapegal's comment from May 9, 2008 at 12:37PM:

I agree with you 100%. Try www.plentyoffish.com. It is also free.

In response to Bea3's comment from Mar 2, 2008 at 6:04PM:

I am one of the most anti-E-Harmony people on the planet. An attractive picture, younger age and
location near/in a bigger city will help. I am 68, do not have a current picture and live in a community
that is 70 mi. from Orlando, 100 from Daytona Beach, 115 from Palm Beach Cy (WPB, PGardens, Boca,
Boynton), 160 from Broward (Ft. Lauderdale/Pompano Beach), 190 from Dade Cy (Miami, Hollywood,
Pembroke Pines), 130 from Sarasota or Tampa/ St. Pete. Also, I am not retired or oozing in $$$.
The countless psychological tests do not take chemistry into consideration. I have challenged this.
Yet, EHarmony has the clients. It claims chemistry is unimportant. Sure! I like to see a picture of the person.

Some will not answer the first round of questions, even if they acknowledge your profile. If you can
get beyond the second round of questions, your chances of success increase somewhat. I have tried writing asking ladies to bypass the formal EHarmony questions and start sharing directly. Some are afraid, As
long as EHarmony's identity is kept, a person is safe.

Over 84% of the referrals I received never replied to my initial message. Of the rest, maybe 10% (of 14%))
answered the first set of questions.

I got to the end with two lovely ladies. One called me and once she learned my financial status--this
was never hidden---there was a hang-up. Another person I was getting ready to drive to Sarasota to meet
her. Then suddenly, w/o prior notice, she moved to NYC and took a big job. Took me a long time to find
out. Then she adopted a child. More delays. I was scheduled to fly to NYC and meet her over XMas
vacation, even lining up a hotel. Things did not work out. We never met. I would not marry someone
without being with them first, nor would I loan my citizenship.

Shall I go on?

In response to Bea3's comment from Mar 2, 2008 at 6:04PM:

Not that I know of. Many women will not answer the first set of questions or respond. Presumably
this is the case with many men too. The next rounds of questions involve guessing games
such as trying to figure out your 10 likes and dislikes. What if a few of your dislikes wind up on
her likes or there are no matches. In the meantime very often there is no picture of the person
to see.

I can't quibble w/success for so many subscribe. It is excellent in promoting and advertising.
But, I cannot recommend EHarmony to anyone. A few ladies that I went on dates with
and wound up with $75+ dinners didn't even send me a courtesy thank you card. I had
sent one to each person dated after arriving home. A few never responded again.

Plentyoffish.com www.plentyoffish.com is Free. I highly recommend it. Matchcom is very good if
you want to pay and are under 60 (preferably under 50). YahooPersonals is okay.

One problem is that some people list themselves on a few different sites. Another is that some
photos are old or misleading. A key is to check when was the last time a person checked
their mail. If more than a month or two, move on. To me, trying to check the ;last time
a person checked their site is a key.

I got over 500 referral names. Maybe 17% responded. Getting past the first round of quesitons,
one can reduce this to 6%. To the third round, maybe 2%. I am over 65. So, a younger
person's success rate can be higher. I live at least 75 miles away from the nearest big city,
Orlando. A lot of referrals came of ladies living in Daytona, Tampa-St. Pete, Sarasota or
Palm Beach Cy ( W Pam Beach, Lake Worth, Boynton, Boca). More came from Broward
and Dade counties.. Had I been living near or in S. FL., maybe my results would be have greater.
Also, I am not a wealthy man, financially.

Eharmony is truley a "Rip Off" an takes advantage of lonely poor people. Thank God I am a widow with a college education and recognized the "Carnival Hype" sucking in lonely senior citizens

Right on..eharmony is a ripoff...the set up is like a big menu..people don't act 'normal' they expect to 'put in their prder' and presto...99% of what I am presented with (i'm a man) are these overweight cows who look like they haven't one feeling about being their best selves. I credit this with the overblown expectation put forth by eharmony that the 'profile' matching somehow completely supersedes the need to at least take care of your body and look sexually attractive. also, there seems to be no room for just 'friendship' connections...this just makes the setting 'predatory' with overblown expectations of 'roping' in a mate.

WASTE OF money. Here's the rub: I am 56 and look like I am late 30s early 40s..I am fit, muscular and attractive. I get these losers who are 48 plus rejecting me becasue (too much of an age difference) well; I am currently having a wonderful time of my life with a 28 year year old ballerina who approached me and asked me out...completely outside the world of e-ho-hum- drum'harmony.
DON't waste your money folks..way too much loser quality being thrown into your search box.

I found that anytime I gave a comment/complaint to eHarmony, I never received a reply or acknowledgment, and ended up being bombarded with 20-30 matches that didn't meet several (if any) of my criteria regarding location, age, etc. I agree with your review and will add that in addition to being E Frustrated, I became eDisgusted and eDisillusioned as well!

In response to doctork's comment from Feb 22, 2008 at 6:00PM:

So, doctork, are you an E-Harmony fan? If so, is there a trick to getting past the introduction phase?

In response to Bea3's comment from Feb 19, 2008 at 6:11PM:

Bea3: I agree. I have learned that one who does not live in such a setting or have the right assets faces more difficulties meeting people. But the star quality people living in such markets also use dating services because meeting others is hard. EHarmony has the most members of any dating service. At the same time it does not take "physical attraction" or features into consideration. Studies show chemistry counts. Most of the other dating services take this into account.

"...iIf one is the right marketable age, lives in the heart of a big community ...., has the right education and income as well as looks like a movie star--this person seemingly has a good chance of meeting a few right people....."

Why would anyone like this need to use a dating service?