The only thing wrong with the car is the loose nut between the steering wheel and the driver's seat.

Warning: In case of the rapture this vehicle will be vacated.

If you're not a hemorrhoid get off my butt!

T-shirt: In the beginning when the world was Young and Restless, the Lord said, "You are All MY Children.  Let me be your Guiding Light and I will take you to Another World."

Bumper sticker on a mercedes: Face it!  Even in your dreams I win!