"I voted for Monica Lewenski's Ex-Boyfriend's Wife."

"Mind like a steel trap: Rusty and illegal in 37 states."

"I brake for cats! And if I miss, I back up."

"Get off my tail or I'll flick boogers on your windshield."

"Hey idiot! You're driving a car, not a phone booth!"

"If you ate pasta and antipasto would you still be hungry?"

"Dislexics of the world: Untie!"