It was a dry and bitter cold winter, and my poor lips were chapped almost beyond recognition. I did some online research to find a moisturizing chapstick that wouldn't cost me my gold tooth, and yet would work effectively and quickly. Most chapsticks I tried worked well for about 9.3 seconds, then they made my lips feel slightly sticky, compelling me to do that fatal "licking my lips," which would invariably cause them to chap worse. Then I found a stray coupon and made the best drugstore purchase of my life - Blistex Complete Moisture. 

I still recall the first time I applied it. :-) I was sitting...