THOUGHTS ON MY MIND (YES I HAVE ONE)

Sometime in the next couple of weeks I am going to have to do a series of blogs of my 2009 through pictures, No, they aren't all of me--well, not ALL!

I had to go to my dentist today--without going into the whole story my lower bridge split in half Wednesday, Thanksgiving Eve, and luckily my dentist's technician had to come into the office on Friday so I was able to get it fixed--no it didn't hinder my eating at the Thanksgiving buffet!! When I got the bill I went into shock and I made an appoint- ment to see the dentist today. His office is way out west, near where Allen lives, so we decided he would pick me up at the dentist's office and we would go for lunch at Cheddar's.

For those of you not familiar with Cheddar's it is a fairly new chain of restaurants with great ambviance, good tasting food, good portions and reasonable prices. Allen had tilapia and I had a chicken wrap. Are you sitting down? My plate had four--count them--4 large wraps and I had to take two home!!!

Tomorrow John, Allen and I are going to see "Brothers"--a movie I am looking forward to. Dolores is coming over to clean my place so John will pick me up early--12:30--and we will go to IHOP for lunch. I'm in the mood for a cheese omelet with a stack of pancakes on the side and that's the place for them! Ironically, Allen can't meet us there because he has to go to the dentist!! He will meet us at the movie theatre.

You know I can get use to this retired gig!!!

100 THINGS ABOUT ME--PART 2--LAST 50

51. I was brought up on Hollywood movies in the 40s and 50s and still want life to be that way.
52. I am shy--at first meeting.
53. My favorite--and only--curse word is sh-o-o-o-o-t as only a Southerner can say it.
54. I do not believe in physical monogamy.
55. I am a gentleman--will hold a door open for a female, walk on the outside, etc.
56. Moderation is not in my vocabulary.
57. Though I love writing I hate rewriting, editing.
58. I was fat for the first 31 years of my life--thin for the next 10--not as thin the next 31 years and have battled it the past 8 years--currently I am losing the war.
59. I ran an ad in the Advocate when I lived in Memphis--got over 300 responses--invited them to stay at my place either Memorial, July 4th or Labor Day weekend--over the 3 weekends 167 people showed--one became a very close friend and others I communicated with for many years.
60. Once I know the date I will acknowledge your birthday--even if after a certain age you don't want me to.
61. My life is and has been an open book and have even gone as far as to publish it (Shameless plug--go to www.authorhouse.com--enter "Letting It All Hang Out" and you can order it--also, "The Free Prisoner")
62. I believe I will win the lottery and/or my books will become best sellers.
63. I am a list maker and, eventually, do everything on the list.
64. I am a prude when it comes to talking about the actual sex act but not when doing it.
65.I have very little patience.
66. My favorite snacks are chocolate, peanuts, potato chips, salami and bread.
67. I would kill for a good carrot cake.
68. The amount of food I can consume at one sitting amazes even me.
69. The older I get the more of a homebody I have become.
70. I love watching animals move.
71. "Hide and Seek" by Pavel Tchelichew is my favorite painting.
72. I love being surprised with unexpected gifts like a book, a turtle or a gingerbread house.
73. I love giving gifts.
74. I love being with someone I am comfortable enough to enjoy silence.
75. I admire Larry Kramer as a writer and an activist.
76. Birds of Paradise are my favorite flower.
77. In the theatre when the house lights come down and the curtain is about to go up I know I will be lost in the world on stage.
78. I am alone--by choice--but not lonely.
79. I have become a reality show junkie--Amazing Race, American Idol,
Survivor and Wife Swap though I know their reality is tinkered with.
80. I like female blues singers.
81. I am not at all smart when it comes to handling money.
82. I looked for--and found--love in many wrong places.
83. The older I get the less I am willing to compromise.
84. I do crossword puzzles in ink.
85. I love a good tearjerker.
86. I can program a VCR, a DVD, a television but don't know how to get around the Internet or do all the 'bells & whistles'.
87. I have gotten into a routine since I have retired which is something I ever rarely did.
88. I have made love in places you can't even imagine.
89. I have learned that things that may be important to me may not be to you.
90. Everyday, when I wake up, I look in the mirror and say, "Martin, you are fantastic!"
91. I fall asleep by 'writng' my next book or play.
92. I have not worn a suit, sports coat or tie since 1979 except one waiter's job I had where you had to wear a tie.
93. The only food I won't eat is oyster plant.
94. While I am great at giving advice I very seldom will take any.
95. I have a wall of pictures of myself through the years.
96. Aside from the heart failure 9 years ago and the aorta valve replacement operation in 2008 I have been, and am fairly healthy.
97. I come across as a tiger but I am really a pussycat.
98. I believe in the 'kindness of strangers'.
99. There is only one thing I would change if I had my life to live over again.
100. I have led, and am leading, a very good life with all its up and downs. 

  

ANY QUESTIONS??????

100 THINGS ABOUT ME--PART 1--FIRST 501. I'm all thumbs on the Internet and after 65 years of typing still 'hunt and peck'!
2. Many moons ago I took a vocational exam and got zero in 'mechanics'
3. I was an habitual liar (and a good one) until I was 36.
4. I was an alcoholic until the age of 45.
5. I trust people.
6. I have been out of the closet since I was 12.
7. I started smoking at 12 (to appear sophisticated) and between the ages of 18-63 I smoked 2-3 packs a day--at the age of 65 I had conjestive heart failure and gave up smoking July 23, 2008 after having an aorta valve replacement operation.
8. I cry at movie and plays.
9. Sunsets thrill me.
10. In the 70s I use to take off--with the AAA travel book and a gay guide--from work July 15-August 15, in my convertible with the top down, exploring a different section of the country each time--stopped when and where I wanted for as long as I wanted.
11. I have lived in NYC, Laguna Beach and Hollywood, California, Memphis, Tennesse (Some of the best years of my life), Miami Beach and Fort Lauderdale in Florida.
12. Have travelled to Australia, New Zealand (Auckland is my most favorite city in the world), South America, Vancouver, Canada, Hawaii, Fiji Islands, Puerto Rico and took cruises in the Caribbean.
13. I have 4 'ex-lovers'.
14. I am basically a loner.
15. I believe in pleasure before business.
16. I have been both rich and poor--more of the latter--but happy under both circumstances (though rich is better!)
17. I am selfish.
18. I am stubborn.
19. I am giving.
20. Though I may ask where you would like to eat and/or what kind of food I already know what restaurant we are going to.
21. I divorced my family when I was 16.
22. I don't NEED someones acceptance and/or approval.
23. Though I don't wear a sign around my neck saying "I am gay." neither do I deny it nor will I stand by and listen, not saying anything, to anti-gay jokes.
24. When someone asks me if I am gay I first reply, "Why do you want to know? Do you want to go to bed with me?" then answer yes.
25. I am a romantic.
26. I believe in 'little things mean a lot'.
27. My favorite writers are Tennessee Williams and Maya Angelou.
28. The most exciting time I ever spent in the theatre was watching the performance of "A Chorus Line" when it became the longest running musical on Broadway--Sept. 29, 1983--the Shubert Theatre, NYC.
29. The second most exciting time was the first time I ever saw ACL--Thanksgiving, 1976, Shubert Theatre--I have seen over 100 productions of the show across the country.
30. In my opinion the two worst Broadway to Hollywood adaptations are "A Chorus Line" and "man Of La Mancha".
31. I have champagne tastes and beer pockets.
32. I have never saved for a rainy day.
33. Have declared bankruptcy twice.
34. I absolutely detest housework--even send my socks to the cleaners.
35. I love gardening.
36. I love to cook and am great at it--you have never tasted shrimp scampi and Caesar salad like mine.
37. I have 7 finches, 2 cockatiels and 1 budgie.
38. I love life.
39. I love people.
40. I am Mr. Pollyanna and Mr. Optimist.
41. Like Anne Frank I believe there is good in everyone.
42. I take people at their word.
43. I have hated only two people in my life--one was 50 years ago and I don't remember what his name is or what he looked like--the other is an ex who i called my hater instead of my lover and now all I can remember is that he did his best and what he thought was right.
44. I dislike intolerance, prejudice and discrimination though I admit to all against negative people.
45. I have experienced that many splendored thing--loving completely and being loved completely in return.
46. I would rather have a good friend than a lover.
47. My favorite sound is children laughing as only they can.
48. I admire actors tremendously--even the bad ones--because I have never had the guts to do it.
49. I am great at motivating people but not myself.
50. I've been a big fish in a small pond and a small fish in a big pond--the former is better.

           1 blog---2 posts--1 bad---1 good

WHY DO WE THROW OUR CHILDREN AWAY???  WHAT DO WE DO WITH/ABOUT PARENTS????Child prostitutes aren't receiving needed help Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Nov 29, 2009 | by Joe Markman Chicago Tribune

WASHINGTON (MCT) -- When the FBI announced a nationwide crackdown on child prostitution last month as part of a long-term initiative to combat domestic sex trafficking, it noted that 52 children had been rescued from "sexual slavery."

"It is repugnant that children in these times could be subjected to the great pain, suffering, and indignity of being forced into sexual slavery for someone else's profit," said Assistant Attorney General Lanny Breuer at the time.

But a month later none of those children is receiving the kind of help that experts say they require to overcome the trauma of their experiences, and some are still languishing in local juvenile detention centers, according to a Tribune Newspapers check of the children's situation.

Experts say the only way to ensure a good chance of recovery for these children is placement in a residential treatment program for such victims, of which there are only three in the United States: in New York, California and Georgia.

"When America's child prostitutes are identified by the FBI or police, they are incarcerated for whatever reason possible, whether it be an unrelated crime or 'material witness hold,'" said Lois Lee, founder of one of the three centers, Children of the Night in Los Angeles.

"Then they are dumped back in the dysfunctional home, ill- equipped group home or foster care, and (often) disappear back into the underground of prostitution with no voice."

Child-sex trafficking experts say that victims struggle to find the care they need once they escape an illicit industry that some estimate could involve as many as 300,000 U.S. children.

Asked about Lee's comments, Ian McCaleb, a spokesman for the Justice Department, said the department "uses a victim-centered approach that provides victims with the services they need in order to recover and to fully participate in the criminal justice process."

A report prepared for Health and Human Services in 2007 then found four residential treatment centers with a total of 45 beds for child prostitutes in the United States.

Interviews with the centers show that bed numbers remain low two years later.

New York-based Girls Educational and Mentoring Services has 12 beds. One of the four mentioned in the 2007 report, The Standing Against Global Exploitation Safe House in San Francisco, no longer has beds for trafficking victims, though it offers nonresidential care for victims and helps place them with foster families.

Melba Robinson, a program manager at Georgia's Center to End Adolescent Sexual Exploitation, said the center's Angela's House, which usually takes in girls on probation, is expanding from six beds to eight.

Still, with victims numbering in the thousands, advocates say there just aren't enough treatment options to go around.

adults should/could learn from childrenThe story of a special friendshipEsteban and Leigh bonded in the nurse's office

By Georgia East, Sun Sentinel

November 29, 2009

WESTON

Esteban Parra knows the lyrics by heart.

He plans to sing Carrie Underwood's Jesus Take the Wheel on Tuesday, at the funeral of his friend Leigh Lampart. He plans to be strong, just the way Leigh would have wanted.

Leigh Lampart, a bright and determined fifth-grader at Manatee Bay Elementary School in Weston, died from a brain tumor on Nov. 23. She was 11.

Esteban and Leigh, both fifth-graders, bonded in their school nurse's office a little over a year ago.

Esteban, a Type 1 diabetic, got to know Leigh during his daily stops at the clinic to check his blood sugar and take his insulin.

Leigh used to spend time in the nurse's office to rest and drink the water she needed to flush down her medicine.

What began as a friendship forged from circumstance blossomed into much more.

They showered each other with support. In April, they were both profiled as Sun Sentinel's Kids of Character for their kindness.

"Esteban would come by the clinic every day and ask for her,'' said Evelyn Destin, the nurse at Manatee's school clinic. "When she came back to school and she couldn't talk, he brought an eraser board so she could write stuff down and they could still communicate.''

Leigh would remind Esteban to eat the snacks he needs to keep his diabetes in check.

In turn, he would help her carry her books and leave messages on her mom's cell phone to see if she was OK.

Once, on the spur of the moment, he wheeled her into the school cafeteria, grabbed a microphone and sang, Let God Take the Wheel, to lift her spirits.

All along they prayed for each other to get well.

Students and family plan to make Leigh's service a celebration of her life. At the family's request Esteban will also sing one of Leigh's favorite songs, Journey's Don't Stop Believin'.

It's a message that has hit home.

Last week students wore pink and red T-shirts to school in Leigh's honor and used their bodies to spell out her name as their principal took photos.The PTA helped to organize a fundraiser in her honor.

Some said they were moved by Leigh's resilience and how determined she was to come to school, even when she had to struggle to get there.

"She just wanted to be here,'' said Destin.

Esteban takes comfort in remembering the Leigh he once knew, the vibrant girl who enjoyed doing cartwheels.

"I think about all the happy stuff we did together,'' Esteban said. "I think of the end-of-the-year party when we danced.''

Their illnesses weren't the only thing they had in common.

Esteban hopes to become a famous singer. He said Leigh told him that she wanted to be an actress and fashion designer.

"She's in a happy place,'' he said, "doing all those cartwheels.''

The funeral will be 3 to 5 p.m. Tuesday at Calvary Chapel Sawgrass, 1775 Flamingo Road, Davie.

Georgia East can be reached at geast@sun-sentinel.com or 954-572-2078.

      A THANKSGIVING MEMORIAL

We all have many things to be thankful for but every Thanksgiving (and many times over the year) I am most grateful for people who have added to my life and are no more with my physically--I know they are my Guardian Angels looking over my shoulder every day of the year--though YOU may not know them they are a part of my family and I would like to share them with you. During the 80s I lost many friends due to AIDS but now as I am old I am losing many of them to natural causes from growing old.

I miss Layde. She was fun and a great supporter of mine not to mention donating many hours to editing my books and, many times, my thoughts. We met in Tennessee and a few years later she moved to Dallas with her sister Nina and Nina's partner Jean. She was always there for me with a joke or a shoulder to cry on.

Within two months we lost two ladies here at Gateway, Carmen and Liz, both to cancer. Liz was an outgoing artist who volunteered every Saturday giving walking tours of the Bonnet House, an historical landmark in Fort Lauderdale. She did not suffer fools gladly and wasn't shy about telling them off.

I have never seen a family matriarch as loved by her family as Carmen was and each child, both daughters and sons, were more beautiful, more handsome than the other. They were polite, well mannered and respected all adults even as they were adults themselves. Her grandson, a strapping 6 feet, 200 pound 13 year old, loved her so much he couldn't but help show her every time he was near. She was caring, loving, positive and optimistic to all her family, friends and neighbors and had a wicked sense of humor.

They may just be names to you but along with many others they bring a smile and warmth to me whenever I think of them and I often do.  I hope Ladye, Liz and Carmen get to say hello to:

Albyn (heart attack), Flo (cancer), Joe (stroke), Ginny (cancer), Ronnie (heart attack) Bob B. (heart attack), John C. (AIDS), Tom L. (AIDS), Ray B. (heart attack), Buddy (AIDS), Michael Mc (AIDS),  Joe (heart attack) Bob/Dr K (heart attack), Vinnie (heart attack) Robert I. (phenomena)--just a few of my Guardian Angels!!!!

                         ENJOY THE DAY

It is an absolutely beautiful day here in South Florida and I wish you could all be here to join me in the sun, the 80 degree temperature and the low humidity but since you cant'/won't I would just like to say HAPPY THANKSGIVING WHETHER YOU CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAY OR NOT.

 I will be back this evening to do my annual thanks post to those I have lost in the past year and what they have, do and will mean to me.

SUNRISES, BIG SHIPS, HOME SHOW & ICE CREAM   PART 1

It has been many years since I have seen the sun rise--probably not since January 1981 just before I gave up drinking--but I did this morning. I had to take Jill and her mother to the airport at about 5:45 AM so driving home I saw the sun rise--no one beats Mother Nature when it comes to stunning you. The colors are so similar between sunrises and sunsets that the only main difference is that the former comes up in the east and the latter goes down in the west--both are jaw dropping!!!

Allen came by around 1:15 and we went down to the convention center to see the 2009 Home Show. Since the convention center is in Port Everglades getting in is a hassle with having to show ID and long lines of cars.

The show is a great place to dream about that day you win the Power Ball and want to build your own home from scratch with doors to die for, saunas, Jacuzzis, beds in all shapes and sizes, unbelievable railings, floors made of any and every material along with kitchens of the future and gimmicks and gadgets beyond your imagination.

We parked on the top floor of the garage which is open to the elements and all the big cruise ships in port including the Emerald Princess and, now, the biggest ship of them all, the Oasis.

For some reason, almost like a magnet, when Allen  and I get together we wind up getting ice cream. We had a 'snack' at the Home Show--Allen a hot dog and chips and I a banana nut muffin--but  it just so happened that there was a Cold Stone Creamery across from the convention center and I just happened to have a 2-4-$5 sundae and it being Sunday that's where we went--now you have to admire my logic.

After Allen dropped me off I went to Jill's place to check up on the birds--which now includes 2 more--her mother's budgies--the fish and the plants--hey, I have to work to have her car for two weeks and I love it!!!

I'll be posting part 2 of this blog on Tuesday because, hopefully, tomorrow I will be seeing "Precious"--I have  a car now and can drive out west where it is playing--and will be posting my review when I get back from the theatre.

I DON'T DO MORNINGS BUT...

I have NEVER been a morning person. I am the type of grumpy guy you better not talk to until Noon and I have had my green tea and read the paper and then I might be civil. The later the day the more wide awake, the friendlier, the more giving I am which is why I am worried today!

Folks, I just know it is going to be a weird day today and something will happen that normally wouldn't and it won't be good!!

I got up at 9:30 AM, bounced out of bed and was smiling!!! By 10 AM I had pulled up the blinds, watered the plants, uncovered the birds and looked out the window to see a bright, beautiful, almost cloudless, shiny day and there were people walking around!!!

  


Now it is 11 AM and I have answered a slew of e-mails, read some blogs, posted a few comments, read the NYTimes, Allthatchat, NYPost, had my juice and tea and am now ready to sit down and read the local paper before I go out at 1 PM--normal time to start day--to do food shopping.

I don't know what kind of day I will have after getting up so early, WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE, but if you don't hear from me this evening send out a search squad between Gateway, Publix, Winn-Dixie, The Dollar Tree and The Home Depot!!

LIFECOACH, MEXICAN FOOD, BIRDS BATHING, BANANA SPLITS, ETC.

I've been reading, and commenting, on a fairly new blogger whose posts are interesting, provocative and, in many ways, amusing, not to mention that she has had a good sense of humor regarding my remarks. Her posts are mainly aimed at women but men could sure learn a lot--give her a look and go to www.blogster.com/lifecoach tell her I sent you!! LOL

It being Wednesday Allen and I went out to lunch. I hadn't been to Tequila Sunrise in quite  awhile and it recently changed hands and the food shows it. The salsa for the chips was runny and very mild. Allen couldn't/didn't finish his crab wrap with rice and beans. I had shrimp fajitas which were just okay.

The only solution after a bad Mexican meal--oh, okay, any kind of meal--is a trip to Dairy Queen which just happened to be on the way and I just happened to have a coupon for banana splits!

The Dairy Queen is located in Wilton Manors, the gayest city in South Florida, which can be obvious by the advertising on a rental building of two men hugging!!! LOL

On the way to getting the winning Power Ball for tonight we stopped at a bird store called Everything For The Birds--it is a large store with large prices--think I'll stick to 'my' bird store, Chippy The Pirate.

I am seriously thinking of writing a blog about promiscuity in regard to gay life of yesterday versus today in the era of AIDS but I think it might be a little too 'hot' as far as sexual terms, not sexual acts, because I don't go there--at least in writing!

Another blog running through my head is about specialization, particularly in the field of medicine--years ago, like in the Ice Age, we use to go to one doctor, the family doctor, for everything while today we have a primary doctor who sends us to all kinds of specialists!!!

On the way home we passed by the Galleria Mall and to my dismay there was a Christmas song on the radio and the mall had their holiday reindeer out in front--it isn't even Thanksgiving week, folks--it's too much--I started getting Christmas catalogues in July--what about next year?/ Will the stores start decorating for Christmas on July 4th? I know--they just won't take the decorations from this year!!!

Big opening movie weekend this Friday--I really want to see "Precious" and "The Blind Side" and, this may sound sacrilegious, but I am not really looking forward "Twilight: New Moon" as I didn't like the first Twilight movie but I'll see it anyway.

QUESTION ABOUT RECYCLING, PLASTIC GARBAGE BAGS

I recycle papers, plastic, bottles, etc., but have no idea what to do about 'garbage'. We all know they are trying to eliminate the plastic bags, like those from supermarkets, as they are bad for the environment.

According to the lease here at my apartment residence  we have to throw out our garbage in tied up plastic bags. I plan to approach our managing administrator as to what they suggest as a solution to the problem.

Are the garbage bags you buy biodegradable? What do you use to throw out your pet's poop? How do you dispose of other garbage like soda bottle tops, and, yes, cigarette butts (no, I don't smoke), candy wrappers, etc.

 HELP!!!!

20 THINGS I LIKE

1.  I like Mother Nature

2. I like Father Time

3. I like pleasant surprises

4. I like  friends

5. I like books

6. I like films

7. I like theatre

8. I like beaches

9. I like red convertibles

10. I like Parades

11. I like music

12. I like animals

13.  I like birds

14. I like dogs

15. I like making love

16. I like sex

17.i like whereI live

18. I like eating out

19. I like walking in the rain

20. I like blogging

20 THINGS I DISLIKE

1. I dislike the fact that I can list 20 things I dislike.

2  I dislike having to use dial up

3.  I dislike rude, crude people.

4.  I dislike drunken women

5.  I dislike homophobes, especially those who have family and don't know they are gay.

6. I dislike bad drivers--all of whom seem to live in South Florida!

7. I dislike piercings except in ear lobes

8. I dislike not having transportation Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.

9. I dislike people who abuse children in any form.

10. I dislike fat men in Speedos on the beach.

11. I dislkie being 22 pounds overweight.

12. I dislike not disliking my being 22 pounds overweight enough so I would do something about it.

13. I dislike people who start trouble just because their lives are so boring.

14. I dislike having to go to doctors, having to wait in their offices and wasting an afternoon doing both.

15. I dislike being put on hold on the telephone.

16. I dislike cell phones used in public.

17. I dislike waiting on line for anything.

18. I dislike about 5 bloggers!

19. I dislike people who don't appreciate what they have.

20.  I dislike house chores of any kind!

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY PART 5 STOP PLAYING GAMES

In "Games People Play" Eric Berne described 3 dozen games people play such as "Poor Little Me", "Yes, but", "Negative attention is better than no attention at all",  "Ain't it awful", "If it wasn't for you I could", "Let's you and him fight", "Now I've got you, you S.O.B.", "Mine better than yours", just to name a few.

Most games cause trouble. They are the relationship wreckers and the misery producers and in understanding  them lies the answer to, "Why does this always happen to me?" The word 'game' should not be misleading. It does not necessarily imply fun or even enjoyment.

Games tend to be repetitious. People find themselves saying the same words in the same way, only the time and place may change. People play ganes with different degrees of intensity. Most of the time games leave both players feeling not okay about themselves.

How do you stop playing games or stop other people from playing them with you? It's easy to just say stop playing but if you do you have to find something to take the place of the time you have wasted playing games and feeling negative about yourself even if you 'win' the game.

The first step to stop playing games is to recognize that you are playing one and don't initiate it. When someone else starts playing the game remove yourself from the situation, don't acknowledge the 'move' of the other and don't respond as you always have.

One of the most played games at blogging sites is "Let's you and him fight." That is when a blogger sets up a situation so that two (or more) other bloggers will get into it and they can just step aside and watch the fireworks only to come back if things quiet down. Eventually the other players see what happened and turn on the original blogger who 'wins' the games, disappears for awhile and then comes back to play again. There are several ways to stop this game the first being familiar with the 'troublemaker' and not fighting with others on their blog. Another way is just to ignore the blogger either by not reading or commenting on their blogs.

All games can be stopped in their tracks if one of the players refuses to play and doesn't answer in the customary way or just doesn't answer. The original game player feels they have won once the other responds in the accepted way and that is usually disagreeing with them so imagine their surprise, their reaction, when that is done! When agreed with they  are basically being told that they are okay which throws their game off and allows the other to get on with their life.

When you are the player initiating the game it is up to you to stop the game. Find other ways to pass your time, positive ways, ways that improve you and your life. It is entirely true that if you are frightened of love, friendship and/or intimacy, games provide you with ways of spending time with people, yet stopping short of intimacy leaving your life empty and making you feel bad about yourself.

I strongly suggest you get and read the following books instead of playing games:

"I'm OK-You're OK" by Thomas A. Harris

"Born To Win" by Murial James and Dorothy Jongeward

"Loneliness: The Fear Of Love" by Ira Tanner

I GET HAPPIER, LUCKIER AND WEALTHIER EVERY DAY!!!

  
                                        
"Oh, I look like a hag when I wanted to look like Shirley Temple" Bette Davis in "Old Acquaintance" smoking and pacing away as she gets ready to be accept a marriage proposal by a man 10 years younger than she is.  This has nothing to do with this blog but I was just watching this movie on TCM and that line, as only Davis can deliver it, really cracked me up!!

I don't know why or how it happened---karma? tis the season? --but I have been sort of swamped with many material gifts lately but, more important, it mostly is coming from people I really care about.

Where to start? Without mentioning names I got a $150 gift certificate for Publix supermarket and $50 one for the Old Florida Seafood House plus a $20 gift certificate for The Olive Garden. One afternoon I went to my mailbox and there was a surprise package consisting of a piece of hand carved wood and 2 Batik hand paintings on material.

This week I got my carton of food from the Pantry of Broward containing enough food for a month for most people plus 6 chocolate cupcakes, a can of escargot, noodles with black bean sauce, a 5 pound turkey breast, a 5 pound bag of fresh frozen blueberries, a ball of mozzarella cheese and a 5 pound container of natural vanilla yogurt.  To top it off when I got back to Gateway I was informed that tomorrow we would get commodities.       
                         

Without expecting anything in return I have been doing some research for a neighbor who has macular degeneration which is more common among older folks than is generally known. I've done it because I like doing things like that and I am interested in anything that can affect my eyesight plus she is the lady that pushed me to get the shingles vaccine. On Monday she handed me an envelope and told me not to open it until I got upstairs. She had previously offered me money but I refused it because I wasn't doing it for money. When I got to my apartment I opened the envelope and there was cash in it. I attempted to return it but she insisted that she wanted me to have it and was grateful for all the information I had given her.

On November 11, 1981 I met the love of my life and 28 years later, though we haven't been together for awhile and he has had another partner for a longtime the man  who was never good at 'little things mean a lot' remembered an important day in both of lives.

Without a doubt I am one lucky guy with friends all over the world, all over the United States, and in Florida, with an  extra nod to Allen for being there for,  and with  me, very Wednesday to take me on my errands and Fridays to enjoy a movie not to forget the 'little' extra dollars he adds to the 'party' now and then.

Now if I would only win the Powerball or Lotto on Saturday but I don't want to ask for too much!!! 

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY  PART 4 "POOR LITTLE ME"

Belle was a professional player of "Poor Little Me" and won big--she was alone most of the second half of her life. She didn't have any friends and her family had left her a long time ago. When she died and her brother was told  he answered, "So What?"

She was the youngest of 7 children of immigrant parents who worked 24/7 to give their children an education. Getting only hand me downs to wear and worn out books to read, not to mention being picked on by her 6 siblings, Belle learned how to play the "Poor Little Me" game very quickly. At first it gained her a lot of attention from people outside of her family but, like most game players, they got tired of her being so negative all the time.

Belle married Stan when she was 17. He was also from a family headed by immigrant parents who believed in education and he learned as much and as fast as he could. He knew one of the aspects of winning in the business world was having a family and he started as soon as he could by marrying Belle and getting  her pregnant. Stan was ambitious and hardworking, consequently he wasn't at the birth of his first child, being busy working, giving Belle the chance to continue playing her game and complaining to anyone who would listen.

When Stan became successful financially he bought his family a home in the suburbs and Belle cried to everyone that he was taking her away from her parents and siblings who were 45 minutes away. Doing good, having luxuries, didn't play into her game so Belle started to claim poverty, that they would wind up in the poorhouse which her family knew wasn't true and would cause a lot of confusion among her children who would see their father having the best of everything and giving the same to his wife and children while their mother cried poverty.

By the time Belle was 40 Stan had left her to marry a younger, more sophisticated woman, having grown very successful in business and needing a woman he could be proud of on his arm whereas Belle relished being the poor little woman from the lower east side not appreciated by her husband. With her parents dead by now her sisters and brothers just couldn't handle all her moaning and groaning, especially since she had more of everything than they did and soon turned their back on her.

In quick time her eldest son left, got married and had children of his own but would not allow his mother to bring her negativity against his wife  to his children, consequently she would never see her grandchildren which allowed her to play poor little me to the hilt. At seventeen on the night of her school prom Belle's daughter eloped and no one in the family ever saw or heard of her again. Last, but not least, her youngest son felt he was being smothered by his mother and moved in with his father and stepmother, never wanting to see his mother again.

Belle didn't hesitate to play her "Poor Little Me" game to whatever family she had left, her friends and any strangers she met.  For a woman who had everything materially she lost everything else and she won her game.

Belle was like many other people in the world in the sense that the unhappier she was the happier she was--being a winner in the game of "Poor Little Me", by losing everyone in her life, allowed her to feel sorry for herself and wallow in self pity which is what the "Poor Little Me" game is all about.

Like all people who are not okay with themselves you can tell by their blog posts, and the woe they throw out with a false bravado, how sad they are and not succeeding at hiding it from the reader because how else could they play the game?!