Worst Movies, Bad Films Part 12 of 16 Review

Worst Movies Part 12.    Here are several more movies to avoid.  They might look like something worth watching but don't be fooled, these movies are a waste of time.  Choose something else or read a book, instead. These are not worth your time.

 The Postman (1997)
Director: Kevin Costner Starring: Kevin Costner, Will Patton, Larenz Tate, Olivia Williams, James Russo, Daniel Von Bargen, Tom Petty, Scott Bairstow, Roberta Maxwell

Postman is a very very long movie that Costner directed himself. You'd think after Waterworld he would stay away from these post-apocalypse tales.. but no.. In this lousy film he's a survivor who passes himself off as a postman in order to give hope to the ravaged communities left alive in the world. Why didn't he give hope to movie audiences and not make this movie?  Story has it, the project was falling apart until he signed onto it originally just to act in it, but then he took on directing the movie.  Let's assume Costner had the best of intentions.  It's still a movie that isn't worth your time.   

 Rabbit Test (1978) Director Joan Rivers Billy Crystal, Roddy McDowall, Mogene Coca , Paul Lynde, Alex Rocco, George Gobel.

Joan Rivers was once a pretty funny stand-up comedian. She made this awful movie. One of the most tasteless foulest PG movies ever made. It is still rated PG and despite all the attempts it isn't funny. The idea might give you a chuckle but that's more than movie will do for you. Terrible screenplay, bad direction ensue. Billy Crystal plays a clumsy mama's boy virgin who suddenly gets pregnant-- The world's first pregnant man. Lots of cameos but it's dreadful stuff. Sanity Test required if you like this movie.

 The Rats are Coming! The Werewolves are Here !!! (1972) There is little going on in this terrible Andy Milligan film. They made a bad 60 minute film and so tacked on some more footage with killer rats sort'a to make it 80 some minute movie with the longest credits you've ever seen. If you think you can sit through anything this is a good litmus test. Milligan was known for making very cheap, often sleazy movies that played in trashy 42nd Street movie houses of the 60s and 70s. 

He is the subject of a very disturbing but fascinating book that some may really enjoy:

Still no reason to this film.  Avoid it.

 Rhinestone (1984)
Director: Bob Clark Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Dolly Parton, Richard Farnsworth, Ron Liebman, Tim Thomerson

Country singer (Dolly Parton) bets that she can turn anyone into a country singer. Her assignment is to make a New York City cabbie (Sylvester Stallone) a country star. No laughs, just awful songs...Directed the guy who gave us Porky's and believe it or not two good movies:  A Christmas Story and Black Christmas..

 Rocky V (1990) Director: John G. Avildsen
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Sage Stallone, Tom Morrison, Burgess Meredith

In an attempt to inject life into this played out series and with Stallone desperate for a hit after too many flops... We get boxer Rocky Balboa as a broken down "has been." He's broke and decides to train an up and coming boxer as his protege. Look it's John Wayne's nephew!!! A greedy promoter has other ideas. Rumors about a 6th Rocky have been talked about since that late 90s  and a couple of years ago it was released to mixed reviews.. so it's probably not the horrible film it could have been.. you should still skip right over number 5...  .


Sasquatch (1976) Several semi-documentaries were made in the early 70's. As the trend ended a few people insisted on making yet another bad phony documentary about Big Foot. Mostly shots of woods, some boring interviews and out of focus shots of out of focus pictures. While movies like Legend of Boggy Creek, Return to Boggy Creek and In Search of Big Foot are pretty bad... those three look like the Lord of the Rings trilogy compared to this one.


 Scream of the Demon Lover (1971) High point: Fantasy sequence has a nude woman in it. Woman likes her employer, thinks there's a killer after him, then discovers a mutant creature in the basement. End of movie. I think you should tell someone you don't like much to watch it all the way through because something happens at the end... (it doesn't... but that's the only way you'd get someone to watch it till the end.)

 Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978) Director: Michael Schultz Starring: Peter Frampton, The Bee Gees, George Burns, Frankie Howard, Donald Pleasence, Alice Cooper, Billy Preston, Steve Martin, Aerosmith, Earth, Wind & Fire

The Bee Gee's ACT !!!! And Earth Wind and Fire, and Frampton and the Bee Gee's re-do Beatle Songs in a thin story that's damn near impossible to sit through. Oh there's a sequence or two in the thing that is bad enough to laugh at...and Billy Preston doing (Get Back) is watchable, Aerosmith (Come Together) and Steve Martin (talk singing his way through Maxwell's Silver Hammer like it's a "King Tut" sequel) are almosts. So assign someone the task of taping a couple of good and a couple of really bad scenes from the turkey for you and then watch those to laugh at. Don't try to endure sitting through the whole mess. There's enough going on, enough cameos you think surely something.. anything, interesting, funny, baaaad, stupid will happen. Little does.

(Yes, Pogo fans.. this is actually #13....since there is a 10b... shshshshs).

There will be 16 (17 parts) in this series.   Here are the previous ones:

Part 11 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Movies-Bad-Films-Part-11-review-131f2

Part 10 b is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Movies-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-10-B-Extra-Bad-Movies-review-c2a30

Part 10 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Movies-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-10-review-acb66

Part 9 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Movies-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-9-review-90be

Part 8 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Movies-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-8-review-81bc0

Part 7 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Moviesl-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-7-review-5890

Part 6 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Movies-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-6-review-cb0f

Part 5 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Movies-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-5-review-abc02

Part 4 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Movies-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-4-review-b8604

Part 3 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Movies-Worst-of-the-Worst-review-b0805

Part 2 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/WORST-MOVIES-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-2-review-1e052

Part 1 is here:

http://www.viewpoints.com/WORST-MOVIES-Worst-of-the-Worst-Part-2-review-1e052

You probably would appreciate avoiding these lousy Sports Movies as well.

Worst Sports Movies  Part 3:

http://www.viewpoints.com/WORST-SPORTS-MOVIES-Ever-Part-3-of-3-review-5f8b0

Worst Sports Movies Part 2:

http://www.viewpoints.com/WORST-SPORTS-MOVIES-of-All-Time-Part-2-of-3-review-5e76

Worst Sports Movies Part 1:

http://www.viewpoints.com/Worst-Sports-Movies-of-All-Time-Part-1-of-3-review-7819