Wahl 5560-500 Nasal/Ear Trimmer Review

Deep in the woods of the Pacific North West, a group of biologists were searching for a rare creature. "Look! There it is!" one cried out. The hairy creature walked on its hind legs much like a human.

The scientists drew out their cameras, started filming what they thought was the infamous "big foot." Albeit, it was not big foot they were filming-it was me.

You see, I have hair growing in the strangest places. Hair grows on my neck and everywhere on my face except for my forehead. Hair even grows on my earlobes. But that is not the worst of it.

Deep in the chasms of my nasal passages, there was a secret conspiracy to create one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I was chit-chatting with a friend one fine sunny day. I sneezed! "Bless you," he replied.

I was relieved that no mellifluous mucus made an untimely appearance. However, my friend's eyes grew very wide indeed. "Wow. Call the editors of the Guinness Book of World Records. That is the longest nose hair I have ever seen."

The nose hair was dangling down my chest. It must have been a foot long. Apparently, it had been growing in my nasal passages for quite a while. A good hard sneeze finally set it free.

It whipped in the air like a flag in the breeze. I knew it was time to get a nose-hair trimmer-one that could penetrate the chasms of my nasal passages. I swore to myself what happened that day would never happen again!

The Wahl 5560-500 Nasal/Ear Trimmer is cordless, requires an AA battery, and has a two-year warranty. It is about six inches long, and is shaped like a...eh hem...well, let me put it this way: When it is switched on, it vibrates.

It penetrates deep into the nasal cavities where scissors fear to tread. It trims those secret conspiratorial nose hairs just waiting to be sneezed out in the middle of your garden party.

It also successfully trims the hair that grows in my ears and on my ear lobes. It even allows me to trim unsightly hairs that grow where the sun doesn't shine and a full-sized razor could never reach.

There is one problem: it never fully eliminates the hairs that grow just inside the tips of my nostrils. In fact, my...eh hem...friends have coined a new nickname for me: Nostrildamus.

As I mentioned previously, this unit does vibrate. In fact, it vibrates profusely! It makes a low humming sound. It is a sound that is steady and sure and centered. I like to chant to it: Om...om...om...

I am sure some will find the vibrating comforting in other ways. Some may also be annoyed by it. Being a singer, I like to sing and harmonize with it while I shave: zzzzzz...Oh when the saints...zzzzz...go marching in.....zzzzzzzz...

This unit is made of very durable metal and plastic. It is as easy to use as flicking the switch with your thumb. The battery also lasts for several days.

This unit is safe to use as well. I have never been electrocuted by it. It has never snagged and ripped any hairs like some razors do. It has never caught fire, nor has it ever blown up in my face causing permanent blindness and disfigurement.

More importantly, it has not caused any nosebleeds, scars, or unwanted tattoos.

Overall, this is a good product. Since it penetrates well (unlike full-sized razors), it is exceptional. However, since it also fails to fully eliminate every last vestige of my nostril hairs, I have to knock one star off the final rating.

The final rating is...envelope please... Hey, how did hair get on the envelope? I'm always amazed when that happens. I'll just trim it off: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz... There! The final rating is four stars.