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Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1)
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Frankie452's Review
"Twilight" is garbage.
a fiction reader, avid reader, re-reading the classics, a sci-fi buff, into romance novels
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OCT
19
2008
However, not unlike the women in gay porn films, they never came.
"Twilight"'s plot comes straight out of a Harlequin romance, complete with sappy descriptions like "marbled chest," "ivory skin," and cringe-worthy similes such as "Before you, my life was like a moonless night". However, unlike a Harlequin romance, "Twilight" doesn't deliver the expected steamy love scenes characteristic of the genre. In fact it constantly skims over them, which is disappointing, since, if Meyer had included them in the narrative they would have probably added some much-needed pep to the absolutely turgid story and its host of vapid characters.
The novel's protagonist, Bella Swan, is a two-dimensional schoolgirl who lacks both ambition and compassion. Predictably, she falls head-over-heels in love with the cutest boy in school, who just happens to be a vampire. Boredom ensues after it is discovered that the supposedly bloodthirsty boy-vampire miraculously returns Bella's affection with alarming devotion. Fast-forward three-hundred odd pages of nauseating, repetitive drivel (relating to said devotion) to a cinematic fight scene between feuding vampire factions in which, predictably, the 'good guys' prevail.
That's pretty much all there is to it. The story is neither thought-provoking nor exciting; nor are its characters insightful or captivating, with the book's focal point - the "marble chested" Edward Cullen - being aptly described as he has the approximate personality of a block of marble.
I don't understand how this book could have sold so well. I certainly am glad I didn't pay any money for it.
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