There's some coolness in Pittsburgh, no doubt. I love the inclines (and even know how to spell "funicular") and love quaffing chilly brewskis over at the Penn Brewery.

One of my best baseball memories is calling the box office at Three Rivers.

"You want tickets in the alcohol-free Family Section?" the agent asked me.

"No," I replied, "I prefer to be in the extra-alcohol section where people really drink a lot. Do you have one of those?"

"Yeah," the agent replied without missing a beat, "Right next to the paddy wagon!"