Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Review

Before I get into my review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, let me explain something. I am a hardcore Transformers fan. My friends and I marathoned the first two seasons and the animated movie before I moved out here to Texas, I still buy the toys both old and new, and I will be indoctrinating my son as soon as he is old enough in the classic cartoons. That said Michael Bay's latest is a gloriously beautiful mess of sound and fury, with some things to like, some things to love, some things to absolutely hate and other things to question if they were absolutely necessary. 

Before I get into it, be warned, I will delve into some heavy spoilers. 

The story is near incomprehensible. It was obvious that Bay wrote much of the movie himself with the action sequences during the writer's strike of 2007 and then writers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci jumped and hung a threadbare story over the action. I won't get into the specifics, just know that it involves the return of Megatron, something about some big nasty called The Fallen, and Sam (Shia Labeouf) heading off to college and finding a shard of the cube from the last movie. 

What I loved: The effects are mind blowing and breathtaking all at once. The action is incredible. The fights are intense and actually done so you can actually make out more than a blur. The explosion towards the end of the movie is the largest caught on film with actors present. That alone is impressive in its own right. Shia and Megan Fox are great in their roles and carry the movie as the two human leads. It was great to see some of my favorite characters from the show including Sideswipe and Devastator but more on them soon. That first action sequence in Shanghai, the forest fight and the pyramid fight, all incredible visually. The relationship between Starscream and Megatron is fleshed out and done right. I loved that.  Characters that are much beloved like Soundwave and Ravage also make their live action film debut and I applaud the changes for those characters.      

What I liked: I found John Turturro's character significantly less annoying in this one as compared to the first film. I also liked the idea of the Autobots teaming with the humans and hunting down the Decepticons. I just wish they could have explored it more.   

What I hated: I found the twin Autobots Mudflap and Skids to be incredibly lame. Many of the reviews I have read focus on the whole racist angle of these two characters but that's not even the issue. They are just not funny. The audience was howling in laughter at them but I just found them stupid and unnecessary. You could have had two other characters that were from the old show and it might have worked at least a little better. Then there is the issue of the human soldiers. They were sorely underused. I loved their characters and the idea behind them but after five great minutes with them,  Bay sure liked to ram the abomination called Leo (played by Ramon Rodriguez) down our throats. If there was ever a despicable and annoying character in a movie, this guy trumps them all. He was essentially the worst character of the movie. I could have done completely without him and would have been better off.  

What I found to be completely unnecessary: Do we have to have the robots curse in this movie? Really? Michael Bay, you know that the Transformers are toys aimed for kids right? Do we really need our kids learning their curse words from the toys they play with? Really? Robots say punk *** and ************** and that's acceptable? The sexual humor has no use in this movie whatsoever. The two male dogs humping to assert dominance was funny the first time but showing it a second time was lame. The swinging wrecking balls on Devastator as his testicles was incredibly lame. The character of Sam's mom.&******** could have been excised from the movie completely and we could have been spared the awkward ten minutes of her eating a pot brownie and then freaking out on the college campus. Not funny. Not necessary. Could have been cut.  The character of Wheelie humping Megan Fox's leg.  Did we need to see that? Don't get me wrong, I found it amusing but unnecessary. 

Am I recommending this movie? Yes and no. Yes, because of the action and the opportunity of seeing something you don't get to see every day it is worth it. No, because the movie is two and a half hours long and the stupidity is peppered throughout.  Be prepared to slog through a lot of **** to get to the gems hidden within and, when the movie shines, it shines.  

Next movie, I am praying that they make the humor come naturally.  It doesn't need to be shoved down our throats from stuff the director finds funny.  That's the problem I have with Michael Bay,  The man has a great visual eye but the humor can be very offensive and when it happens, he makes sure it gets shoved in our faces as if to say, "SEE LOOK THAT WAS FUNNY RIGHT?!?" No. not really. 

Finally, if you take kids to see this movie, please understand that a beloved main Autobot gets killed graphically on screen.  If you thought the death of this same character in the animated movie was traumatizing enough, you haven't seen anything until you see him get beaten to a pulp, and then stabbed through while his chest explodes right into the camera. I counted no less than four families that left the theater because their kids were in tears after this scene.

Bottom line: If you are a fan of Transformers, you will find a lot to love.  If you are fan of Michael Bay, you will find the gratuitousness that makes his movies fun from time to time.  If you are not a fan of Bay,  stay far away.  

My final rating: 3 stars. Out of Five.  Definitely not the worst thing you can see this summer but certainly not the best.