The Godfather's Revenge made me an offer I should have refused.
avid reader
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FEB
8
2008
The Godfather's Revenge —
Dear Mark Winegardner,When I was at my local grocery store, your new novel "The Godfather's Revenge" caught my eye. I grabbed it from the rack and was immediately hooked by the prologue, so I swiped my ATM card at the counter, and my bank account was debited $9.99 plus tax.
The prologue was brilliantly and artfully written, but the rest of your book sucked a big fat lollypop the size of my cousin Vinny's boil under his armpit--what you offered I could have and should have refused. Your 610 page book could have easily been condensed to around 200 pages. The plot would have moved faster and I would not have taken so many naps between chapters. You see, Mr. Winegardner, it is like this:
When I read a gangster novel, I want lots of action and suspense. I want to read about someone getting hit or rubbed out. I don't want to read about Tom Hayden's wife's art collection. Capiche? If I want to read about art, I'll read the "The Big Book of Art." OK...OK...I'll admit I would just look at the nudie paintings, but you get the point, right?
You included one extremely long, nauseating chapter that provided a detailed description of the sights and sounds of a fictitious World's Fair. Who cares?! You've seen one cotton candy machine-- you've seen them all. Please get a life, Mr. Winegardner. I would rather read about someone making an attempt on Michael Corleone's life at the World's Fair, or something equally exciting.
Hey! I'm dead serious! I am not going to untie you from that chair until you understand!
You also waste precious time and space by giving the reader long-winded character descriptions of minor characters that add little or nothing to the plot.
To put it simply, Mr. Winegardner, your book lacks a hook. For that reason, it deserves the hook. Now, before I cut you loose, I am going to make you an offer you can't refuse:
Before you write another gangster novel, read the "Valachi Papers" for inspiration--or I promise you I will never ever read any more of your "Big Books of Art"!
OK, boys, he's had enough. Cut him loose.
Last edited on Feb 08, 2008
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