Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith Review

The Case

Okay, we're all familiar with the legendary, and sometimes infamous, Star Wars films.  We've all seen the movies - and if you haven't, I demand you stop reading and go watch them NOW! - we've all heard the quotes, we've all used the phrase "May the Force be with you."  Wait - doesn't everyone use that phrase in everyday conversation...? 

Uh, anyway, what I'd like to do here is rank the six SW movies in order from "The Best Flick of all Time That Makes Me Weep With Joy Every Time I Watch It" to "Oh My God, What The Heck Is This Abominable Monstrosity of a Thing and Why Does It Have The Name 'Star Wars' Attached To It?!"  For simplicity's sake, I'll refer to my ranking system on a numerical scale for the rest of this review.

Star Wars Movies - From Best to Worst:

#1 - Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
#2 - Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
#3 - Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
#4 - Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
#5 - Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
#6 - Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Regarding the Star Wars prequel trilogy (Episodes I, II, and III): I don't like them.  And if you haven't already seen them, I DON'T recommend them.  Please, just enjoy the originals!  (And by that I mean the REAL originals, not the Special Editions.  Han shot first, man.  It's a fact of life!)

The Good

Hip-hip-hooray!  Finally, a new Star Wars movie that doesn't make me want to burn out my eyeballs by the end!  Granted, Revenge of the Sith has numerous flaws, but it was better than Episodes I and II combined.  Unlike those two, the story and script are actually okay.  Not great, but okay. 

Yeah, sure, there's still cheesy dialogue - it wouldn't be a George Lucas prequel if there wasn't cheesy dialogue! - but on the whole, the writing improved, and the actors were able to create a little magic with it.  Thank the Maker!  Well, maybe I should say in spite of the Maker!  Sorry, George.  It's a hard truth.  (And does anyone else get a little weirded out when you consider that Threepio is constantly thanking/worshiping Anakin with that 'Maker' line, or is it just me?  I mean, the guy kills kids.  Where does that get fun?)

Props to Christensen.  He actually succeeded in giving a balanced performance when it came to Anakin's maturation, his fear, and his rage.  I thought he did a very good job.  Not better than Ewan McGregor, though.  Dude, Ob-Wan freakin' rocked in this film!  Ewan was channeling Alec Guinness, I swear.  The mannerisms, the delivery, it was all fantastic.  He even managed to look cool riding that multi-colored lizard thing!  Even Alec might not have been able to do that!

And, of course, as with all the prequels, the special effects were stunning.  The battle over Coruscant, General Grievous, the ultimate lightsaber showdown on Mustafar, it's all very, very impressive.  And most of it served the plot, not the other way around.  That was good, too.  Plus, this movie went dark.  Seriously dark.  I mean, hello!  Anakin's killing kids!  And other Jedi!  And his wife!  Anakin pretty much goes Jeffrey Dahmer on us!  Well, you know, except for that flesh-eating cannibal thing...

What I liked the most about Episode III, though, was the large amount of memorable scenes.  Memorable and emotional scenes that were actually worth watching!  It's sad and a little touching to witness Anakin struggling with his all-consuming fear of losing Padme.  When the Emperor gives the order to massacre the Jedi, the resulting devastation is absolutely heart-rending.  And when Anakin shows up as the newly-minted Darth Vader on Mustafar, it's chilling to the bone.  And what scenes, pray tell, were memorable in Episodes I and II?  None, as far as I can remember.

The Bad

'Kay, that was a really long 'The Good' section, but there's a whole lot of stuff I didn't like about Revenge, too!  A lot of it stems from a general dislike of existing characters and situations, so it's all a little hard to describe.  One thing that comes to mind is the portrayal of the Wookie homeworld, Kashyyyk.  This is due mainly to the fact that I'm a big geek and have read every Star Wars novel ever written, but the truth is, Kashyyyk was nothing like it's been described in the books, and George Lucas approved the books, so I just don't get it!  Sometimes it's like he deliberately tries to tick off his fans, and that really bothers me.

There's a lot of continuity things that I take issue with as well (like Luke and Leia, and why Luke wouldn't have memories of his mother and Leia would even though Padme actually touched Luke before she died and not Leia, who barely got a cursory glance from dear old mom before dear old mom bit the laser beam thanks to psycho homicidal dad).  Anyway, I'm gonna move on now.  A lot of the little things were frustrating, that's all I'm trying to say.

The melodrama of this movie was also frustrating.  They took it dark, which is great, but then they loaded it with sappiness, resulting in a really, really soap opera-y Star Wars movie.  Honestly, what was with the long, prolonged "Noooooooooo" from Darth Vader at the end?  Bondage Darth Vader in point of fact - c'mon, they couldn't have found a cooler way to strap him to that table?  Actually, did he have to be strapped to a table?!  Really?

And all of Anakin's and Padme's scenes together were the ultimate in hokey.  That just goes back to the 'no chemistry' thing, though.  Either they have it or they don't, and these two don't!  Oh, and what the heck happened to Padme in this movie anyway?  What, she gets knocked up by Darth Angst and she loses her spine, and her nerve, and her inner fire - which is the only thing that made her character slightly bearable throughout this entire prequel trilogy up to now - all at the same time?  Sheesh.  It's the ultimate role reversal - she's just as whiny as Anakin was in Episode II!

Yeah, this was not my favorite film ever.

The Verdict

Three stars!  Episode III: Revenge of the Sith was a semi-respectable end to a terrible prequel trilogy, but what I'd really like to say to George Lucas regarding these movies is "Do, or do not...or DO BETTER!"