Southwest Specialty Foods Inc. Ass Blaster Hot Sauce Review

Overall 3.00 of 5 (by 1 user)

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CyndiA
southern, NC

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I'm still crying and going to the bathroom after Ass Blaster.

a spicy food fanatic, trying new things all the time, food writer

Pros

it's the thought that counts, super duper hot, little goes a long way, no calories, no fat

Cons

super duper hot, not sure on flavor due to hot, makes you cry, makes you go potty FAST, hurts for a couple of hours

FEB

2008

My youngest son gave me Ass Blaster Hot Sauce for Christmas. Excuse the language. That's really the name of the hot sauce. Cross my heart - or buy more toilet paper.

Ass Blaster came in a little wooden outhouse. That may have just been for the holidays. I've never seen this sauce for sale. My son said he got it at a kiosk at the mall.

This is something I think a guy would be more likely to buy. On the other hand, it made sense to "buy for Mom," since I'm the Grill Girl at Yes! You Can Grill online. That's my new web site (and still in progress - very much). I write about outdoor cooking, so I'm always checking out new products in that category. That's about the only way a young fellow can get by with buying his Mom anything called Ass anything.

Ass Blaster has been on display since the holidays. Yes. My kitchen decor is eclectic. This goes well with my plate from Granny that says, "I am not a fast cook. I am not a slow cook. I am a half fast cook."

My son mentioned today that I had not tried my new sauce. We just happened to have some North Carolina style barbecue in the fridge. I splashed some Ass Blaster on there and heated it up. This shakes out like Tabasco Sauce. I hit the meat with a good 8 or 10 shakes. It might have been a half tsp total.

Ass Blaster does not hit immediately. I had a couple of bites before my mouth caught on fire. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. I drank about a half gallon of water. I ate another couple of bites. Another half gallon of water. My eyes began to water. My nose started to run. I broke a sweat on my forehead. I cried uncle. No more. No more.

My tongue still burns. My stomach got the cramps. I've honest to goodness been to the bathroom three times in two hours. I thought they were joking with the name. They weren't.

On the plus side, this sauce has no calories or fat. It is just liquid fire I think. If I keep going to the bathroom, my fat and calories for the day should be negative numbers. I really wasn't supposed to be eating that barbecue pork due to cholesterol issues. Oh well. I don't think it stuck around long enough to do any harm.

If someone really likes stuff super hot, then Ass Blaster is the ticket. This is, I must tell you, very hot. Hot! Hot! Hot! You are warned. Use at your own risk.

To be honest, this would be fine in chili or stew. Just a little. It would definately heat it up. I'd say to use no more than one or two splashes per big pot. Otherwise, you will be sitting on the pot.

Last edited on May 03, 2008

Southwest Specialty Foods Inc. Ass Blaster Hot Sauce is not recommended by CyndiA

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Comments about CyndiA’s Review

CyndiA wrote on Jul 7, 2008 at 2:05PM

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In response to Katrena's comment from Jul 7, 2008 at 1:47PM:

I think the bottle is a lifetime supply (-:

Katrena wrote on Jul 7, 2008 at 1:47PM

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If I ever get constipated, I'll come over for a visit if you still have more!

CyndiA wrote on May 3, 2008 at 6:57PM

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In response to LibbyMcMillan's comment from May 3, 2008 at 9:05AM:

Such is life (-: Now I know better.

LibbyMcMillan wrote on May 3, 2008 at 9:05AM

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Hoo Ha! Don't know how I missed this hilarious review, but it's one FUNNY piece of writing. Sorry you got burned, girlfriend!

jss831 wrote on Apr 4, 2008 at 9:18AM

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Great review :) Awe you poor thing... I have seen it for sale at supermarket liqiours. I had to just laugh at the name and photo.. easy going down,painful coming out I have had that happen to me before, not fun "I guess thats how it got it's name"..Franks hot sause is good enough for me,no after-burning on the way out..lol:))

tina257 wrote on Mar 13, 2008 at 3:43PM

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If you didn't say you were a spicy food fan I'd think you were being a wimp, but since you know the difference I'm thinking this one was aptly named!!! I love hot stuff, but I'm glad you warned me in case I ever come across this stuff. lol!

ahamon69 wrote on Mar 7, 2008 at 9:13AM

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anyone who is constipated should try your review. If the laughter doesn't help them, I guess they could try a dab of @$$-Blaster.

mary1351 wrote on Mar 5, 2008 at 8:11PM

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What a coincidence. My son-in-law got some for Christmas also. I put 2 drops in my chili and it definitely fired me up. I'm a hot sauce lover but I didn't really care for the fact that it just added heat but no flavor. I think I'll stick to my tabasco sauce, thank you.

NattScatt wrote on Mar 5, 2008 at 2:50PM

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CyndiA, WOW I bet the A** Blaster sauce is as hot as you say. Sorry. I would love to try it since I am a fan of spicy food. I usually use a sauce called Insanity. Unfortunately, it's not available in my area. Too bad, after reading your review, my mouth is watering.

GeorgeChabot wrote on Mar 2, 2008 at 4:00PM

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Wow! Liquid fire. ;>

Meredith wrote on Feb 10, 2008 at 6:55PM

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I just came so close to falling out my chair laughing. You are awesome. I'll certainly be passing on the terrifying Ass Blaster sauce. Thanks for the heads... um, I mean butts up.

houdini16409 wrote on Feb 10, 2008 at 8:06AM

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I am almost in tears laughing so hard at this review. I hope you survived the Ass Blaster. I am a huge fan of spicy foods, but this might be a little too daring for me. Great review!

Jolie wrote on Feb 9, 2008 at 12:40AM

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okay, I was laughing out loud. I hope you survived.... :) Your son cracks me up. I love that as a present!!!!!!!!!

Buggheart wrote on Feb 7, 2008 at 6:42PM

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OMG. That's all I can say. LOL

AmyA wrote on Feb 7, 2008 at 7:54AM

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OH MY GOD! You poor thing (no one lite a match around Cyndi!) Again you have me in tears woman. Glad you are feeling better! This stuff sounds like it would be up my Dad's alley...(I don't eat his chili). Love your reviews!

CyndiA wrote on Feb 6, 2008 at 8:29PM

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I am happy to say that I am back to normal. This stuff is rough but quick. I love spicy too, but this one kicked my A to reflect the name of the product. I will use it but only to add spice to large pots of food. A serving may be a teaspoon, but that would be most hard on many bodies.

Kristy wrote on Feb 6, 2008 at 6:22PM

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Oh poor baby! My son loves hot sauce and a few years ago we bought him a make your own hot sauce kit. He make all these extremly hot sauces and he was the only one that would eat them - he can eat the hottest things. Yours does sound a bit too hot for anyone!!

mrkstvns wrote on Feb 6, 2008 at 3:51PM

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I am just ROLLIN' on the floor laughing at this one. Sorry 'bout that pain in the A**, but ya can't say you weren't warned!! (I'm gonna have to try this one for myself....I *HEART* spicy!)

Pinkfrogs wrote on Feb 6, 2008 at 1:30AM

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Thanks for being the guinea pig so the rest of us won't have to suffer. I feel so bad for you and hope you recover soon. They weren't kidding by naming it AB, but in my opinion they should rename it something like Colon Blow or maybe even Booty Burner. LOL.

kid-kansas wrote on Feb 5, 2008 at 8:57PM

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In response to CyndiA's comment from Feb 5, 2008 at 8:24PM:

oh my...lol

CyndiA wrote on Feb 5, 2008 at 8:57PM

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In response to CrystaBush's comment from Feb 5, 2008 at 8:30PM:

Not so good so far. A late night I think. I must think before I eat. I must learn to try a dab before doing it up. When the label says something like A B, I will pay attention from now on. Maybe.