Sky Bus Review

If you haven't seen the ads for Skybus, offering $10 fares each way to and from Columbus Ohio, then you've probably seen the dirt cheap promo deals for Spirit Airlines like their $9 deal. Sounds like the deal of the century, doesn't it?

Well, I love a deal as much as the next person (maybe even more), but there's no value in simply getting a rock-bottom price. Value comes from getting a good deal on a relatively GOOD product, and therein lies the rub, not only with Skybus, but with all of the most cut-throat cut-rate airlines. You might well be one of the "lucky" people to snag the advertised cheap prices, but you are NOT necessarily getting "a good deal".

There are a lot of reasons why you may want to AVOID el-cheapo airlines (dba "Skybus") and pay the higher price for a better travel experience. Here's a few to start you thinking:

• The illusion of "savings": While a $10 fare sounds enticing, the truth is that Skybus only has 10 seats on a flight available at that price, and they're booked far in advance. When you actually go to check their fares on dates that you're realistically planning to fly, the prices tend to be quite a bit more....sometimes even higher than Southwest and sometimes even higher than full-service airlines that give you, well, full service. Don't buy a Skybus ticket just because you THINK you're saving money. At least be smart enough to check around first so you know what Southwest is charging and whether the major carriers have any promos going.
• The bait and switch of "add-ons": Before you buy your Skybus ticket, read the terms and conditions CAREFULLY. Then, if they look okay, re-read 'em because you missed something. Know that the ticket covers just YOU flying. They'll charge extra for anything and everything...even one, single, lightweight checked bag. Adding insult to injury, weight limits are lower than they are on major U.S. carriers. If you ask for a pillow, they'll charge you extra. They'll even charge you if you ask for a glass of water on the flight! If the plane has problems in flight, parachutes are available only at an extra charge. (Just kidding. You bring your own parachutes, and they count as a checked bag. There's an extra fee for that.)
• The looming nightmare of "customer service": Skybus claims that they sell tickets only on their web site so they can keep prices low. Sounds reasonable, to a point. Unfortunately, that "point" is crossed when Skybus doesn't publicize customer service phone numbers. It doesn't take an IQ far above zero to figure out the problem here. Most Skybus passengers are NOT going to be carrying computers around with them and won't want to be mucking around a web site when their flight is cancelled or their checked baggage somehow got flown to Seattle when it was supposed to be in Atlanta. Things go wrong in the travel industry. Always. Every single day. Travelers stuck in a remote city need immediate service, not service after they find a computer, figure out how to get an internet connection, find the web site, figure out that Skybus's policy is that customer service issues are handled by e-mail, compose e-mail, send e-mail, wait up to 24 hours for a reply, send back your replay that it doesn't work, wait up to 24 more hours for a reply, be told that there is yet another charge for e-mailing customer service, etc., etc. (If you happen to be a Skybus passenger, you may want to also keep handy the web address to file airline complaints with the U.S. government. It's: airconsumer.ost.dot.gov)
• The cost of inconvenience: The other problem with Skybus is that they don't really go anywhere worth flying. All flights so far either originate or end in Columbus Ohio. That's not even as interesting as ending up in Cleveland! (In fact, I'm not really quite sure where Columbus is....do they have flush toilets there yet??) What's the value in a cheap flight if it's not going someplace worth being??
• The cost of comfort: Be aware that Skybus crams more seats into its cabin than major carriers do for the identical aircraft. 29" pitch compared to 31" on the average major carrier. You think flying coach is bad now...just wait til you feel the pain of a $10 Skybus seat!
• The insult of hucksterism: Skybus not only has ugly planes to begin with, they also fly the tackiest interior cabins in the American sky. There's sleazy ads inside the cabin space, hawking the kind of cheap products that appeal to trailer park white trash and the ghetto crowd used to seeing such things in city buses. As if the insult of having to stare at a scummy, defaced billboard all the way to Columbus wasn't bad enough, the flight attendants are nothing but street vendors, strolling through the cabin hawking junk food and junkier Wal-Mart merchandise. The only good thing about this is that it saves me a trip to the projects when I want to buy a fake Rolex.

Am I being harsh? Oh, yeah. I'm I being realistic though? Unfortunately for Skybus and its fans, probably too much so. I love a travel deal, but it has to be an HONEST deal. I don't want a cheap price on a cheap product. I want value, and that means a FAIR price on a GOOD product. And that's why I do NOT recommend Skybus.