Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End Review

There are spoiler paragraphs below, but they're clearly depicted, so fear not! 

The Case

I really wanted to like it.  Honest I did.  I wanted to be blown away, like I was with the original.  But this third movie just couldn't pull everything off.  At World's End is a step up from Dead Man's Chest, but, unfortunately, that's not saying much at all.

The Good

Thankfully, there are a few improvements in this one compared to the last.  What stands out most is the humor.  Oh, sure, they couldn't help throwing in a few more repetitive rum jokes, but, on the whole, the witty reparte seems to be fairly original.  Thank goodness that Jack, Will, Elizabeth and others have, for the most part, thrown off those jaded exteriors created in Dead Man's Chest!  They almost seemed like our heroes again, instead of backstabbing lowlifes (this is not to imply that there isn't backstabbing present in the film, but it's not as intense as murder)!  And, I'll admit, the CGI is spectacular.  There's a storm scene in this movie that's unbelievably aswesome!

The Bad

If I could sum it all up in one word, it would be unsatisfying.  We've watched these characters over the course of three movies now, and I honestly wish that I had only seen the first one, because the second two are just painful.  I felt jipped at the end of this film, and also a little depressed - with both storylines and the film itself.  One thing I definitely want to mention here is the violence level, which is much higher than the previous two.  If you've taken your kids to see these films, let me just advise you that, as with Spiderman 3, you may want to preview it first.  At one point, I even closed my eyes!

Really, At World's End was just...crammed.  With stuff that felt unnecessary.  Everything weighed it down.  Old plots, new plots, sorta kinda inbetween plots, plots that seemed to have nothing to do with the other plots, etc.  I wish they would have tossed most of those mentioned above out and had at least a) a plot with the kraken - the only really cool thing from the second movie, and b) a greater use of familiar and beloved minor characters.  The sidekicks from one and two got short shrift in three.

SPOILER ALERT!!!  SKIP THE TWO ITALICIZED PARAGRAPHS TO AVOID!!!

I needed these paragraphs so that I could vent a little.  * deep breath *  Okay, what's up with the killing - Governor Swann and Norrington in particular?  I mean, is it really necessary to off everyone in Elizabeth Swann's life?  Dude!  They even killed WILL!!!  Every ten years doesn't even come close to rectifying that plotline!  And just to touch on Miss Swann herself, it's official.  She has literally kissed EVERYONE in the entire series now!  What I particularly enjoyed was that she can kiss all the guys she wants, but the one guy who dared to kiss her: blown away by a cannonball!  Yeah!  That'll teach him!

In the second movie, every single character became a pirate.  Didn't matter who you were in the first one, you're gonna be a pirate in the second one.  Well, they took that a step further in the third.  Sure, you were a pirate in the second movie, but in this movie, you get to be a pirate CAPTAIN!  Everyone is a pirate captain!  EVERYONE!  Even that bare-chested guy who hangs out with that one-eyed guy gets to put in an application for pirate captain!  Unbelievable!  And what was up with Davy Jones' Locker?  Put me down for Hades, the Locker is just insane!  And seriously?  Shoulder-angel Jack Sparrows?  Seriously?  Ugh.  I could keep going, but I won't.  In closing, let me just ask: was it really necessary for Calypso to give everyone crabs?

END OF SPOILER PARAGRAPHS!!!  READ ON IN SAFETY!!!

The Verdict

Two and a half stars (I rounded to three)!  If you're already a Pirates of the Caribbean fan, you should probably see At World's End.

However, if you've managed to avoid the Pirates movies so far, than just pretend that the first film is the last and skip the sequels altogether!