3.4
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OKCupid.com

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OKCupid.com
 
3.4

(based on 57 reviews)

Ratings Distribution

  • 5 Stars

     

    (17)

  • 4 Stars

     

    (13)

  • 3 Stars

     

    (12)

  • 2 Stars

     

    (8)

  • 1 Stars

     

    (7)

67%

of respondents would recommend this to a friend.

Pros

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Cons

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Best Uses

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    • I received a sample (4)

Most Liked Positive Review

 

OKCupid: Not too shabby for a free dating site

Even though I've been told that I'm a smart, caring and even attractive fellow, it wasn't until I was in my 30s and got an Internet Service Provider that I was able to enter...Read complete review

Even though I've been told that I'm a smart, caring and even attractive fellow, it wasn't until I was in my 30s and got an Internet Service Provider that I was able to enter the sometimes thrilling, often chilling world of dating.

You see, one of my biggest weaknesses is that even though I'm a very friendly person and get along very nicely with what Rodgers and Hammerstein called "the fair and gentle sex," I tend to get really shy when I find myself attracted to a particular woman.

This Achilles' heel of mine really hindered my sex life when I was younger; from junior high school all the way to college and even beyond, I didn't have any girlfriends.  Worse still, I was so certain that women would reject me that it became what psychologists call a self-fulfilling prophecy.

However, once I discovered the joys (and pitfalls) of instant messaging, Yahoo! Chat (before it became infested with porn bots) and the other neat socializing features of the Internet, I was finally able to get over the fear of rejection and strike up conversations with women, especially with women who were interested in relationships and intimacy.

While I often got myself into difficult situations and had more than my fair share of heartbreaks, I have had a few romantic relationships with women. 

For the most part, these relationships have tended to be long-distance relationships (LDR) which required some form of interstate travel.  My first face-to-face meet with a romantic partner entailed a flight to Colorado and other expenses, while another depended on a series of Greyhound bus trips in Florida and Georgia.

After my last LDR ended in 2004, i decided to try harder and find local dates instead of having to deal with all the ups and downs of falling for women who live hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away.  No matter how much I like to travel and seek out exciting situations, LDRs are incredibly tough on both parties, both financially and emotionally. (And of course, there's the whole issue of trust in such a situation.  After all, how can a person know for sure what his or her partner is doing - dating or sex-wise -  when he or she is a thousand miles away?)

Now, I don't drive a car, and my area's mass transit system is not exactly the world's most efficient, so I don't get out on my own much in a metro area which is geared more toward the automobile than to the pedestrian.  Thus, even though there *are *places where I could meet potential dates, I still prefer to use the Web to "hook up" with women.

**OKCupid**

Of course, one of the online resources available to men and women is the dating site, which usually comes in two flavors: premium (pay) or free (self-explanatory). 

Premium ones tend to go from the seriously romantic (eharmony) to the purely smutty (AdultFriendFinder), with Mate1.com and similar sites in between.  I have signed up with the in-between ones for free, but all a "free membership" entitles me to is a message box which tells me I have messages in it.  I can read them, but in order to answer to possibly-interested women and maybe meet them, I have to, you guessed it, upgrade to the "pay-to-play" membership level.

Free sites also exist; but results in there are often hit-or-miss.  Once, I joined Plentyoffish.com; I saw a few interesting profiles and sent messages to the women in them.  To this date, I have not heard from any.

Another site I used is, of course, OKCupid.

**They Say:**

*The best dating site on Earth*

*OkCupid is the fastest growing FREE online dating site. Our advanced matching system is based on you, and what you find important. Tell us about yourself and we'll help you find your perfect match. With over a million quality singles from all around the world, you can make a new friend or set up a date—all for free!*

**I Say:**

Obviously, OKCupid's claim that it's the best dating site on Earth is quite possibly impossible to delve into; surely there are other free dating sites out in the World Wide Web and geared to users in other countries that may be better. (And, with 234 or so sovereign nations on Earth, there's no way that I'm going to go fact-finding this for Viewpoints!)

The part of OKCupid's "About Us" statement that I do agree with is that the more you interact with the site - by creating a profile, keeping a journal, answering Match Questions (I've answered over 600!), taking quizzes, checking out profiles, sending/receiving messages and IMs and uploading photos - the better your chances are for a match.

Obviously, such a "you-oriented" site requires more than just setting up a profile with basic information, a picture, a list of preferences and nothing else and then hope for the best. I suppose you could try that successfully if you are a hot-looking guy or girl who puts "casual sex" on your "I'm Looking For" slot on your profile, but if you want a real relationship or friendship match, you have to dot your i's and cross your t's.

*From my OKCupid profile:*

***My Self-Summary****Even though I've been in a few relationships since my "puppy love" days at Tropical Elementary in the early 1970s, I've been more of an observer rather than a participant in the Sexual Revolution and its uneasy consequences and less-than-ideal sequel, the Internet Cyber-Sexual Revolution. I didn't date in high school or college, though Lord knows I wanted to, and I didn't lose my virginity till I was in my late 30s. (Ever see "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? That was almost me!) Perhaps it is because my disability makes me painfully shy, or maybe it was because I fell in love with the wrong women, but I have not exactly been very experienced with women, love, or intimacy.**That having been said, I don't have a perpetual black cloud around me because I'm not "getting any" or dating anyone (yet). I have many wonderful friends online, and quite a few "IRL" friends, and I have a lot of good things going for me right now.**I am smart, loving, and talented.*

In some ways, OKCupid is a combination of "meat market" and psychological self-analysis: every time you answer a Match Question (those are often created by members, by the way), OkCupid uses your reply and compares it to a member you think you might like to match up with.

For instance, one woman I checked out was an 82% match, with a breakdown of 80% Friend and 15% Enemy.  (The Friend and Enemy percentages are based on how our attitudes either converge or clash).

Another OKCupid indicator of how good (or bad) a potential match is the Personality graph, which takes data from your Match Questions and then creates a Venn diagram-like chart that shows you, for instance, who is more spiritual, who is better-mannered, who is more desirous of sex, and so on. 

*The graphs represent your personality ranges for a given trait based on your answered match questions. The percentages are how each of you compare to the rest of the OkCupid population.*

Of course, if you avoid questions about certain topics -sex, religion, spirituality, attitudes and whatnot - OKCupid won't be able to tell others diddly how well you match up to them.

The woman I'm now dating (yep, I met her on OKCupid) assiduously avoided all sex-related questions, so if I were to go by the graphs that compare our personality traits, I'd have no clue as to whether she's more desirous of sex or kinkier than me.  (There are ways on OKCupid to get such details...namely by asking potential dates about them in private messages,)

**Other Comments:**

OKCupid, like all dating sites, is not perfect.  There will be members who will find dates super-easy, while others will probably wait for weeks, months or even years before they find a good match. 

There will also be trolls, creeps, spammers, con artists and perverts, as well as members whose lifestyles may not appeal to others.   This is unavoidable due to the inherent diversity of OKCupid's membership and the nature of the Internet.

In my case, it took me two years and an odd number of months to *finally *hook up (in all the meanings of the term) with a bright, attractive and personable woman.  I had a lot of potential matches based on all the activity i did on OKCupid, and a few women did send me messages, but quite a few were like this one:

*Have you tried acupuncture, my profession?**Quinn*

(That lady wasn't looking for dates; she was trying to expand her business....)

On the whole, for a free site, OKCupid is not too shabby.  Many members do get dates (or whatever they seek), and some even end up in steady relationships.

VS

Most Liked Negative Review

 

Not for females looking for serious relationships

I actually really like OkCupid; I've been using it for about 3 years now. And I've even been in several "relationships" with great guys I've met on OkCupid. However,...Read complete review

I actually really like OkCupid; I've been using it for about 3 years now. And I've even been in several "relationships" with great guys I've met on OkCupid. However, NONE of the guys wanted a real & serious relationship (as it turned out) and I was able to see that they all quickly went back on OkCupid (I mean, within hours) of us breaking up. Prior to OkCupid, I dated "normally" and have had several 1-2 year relationships, a 4 year relationship and a 5 year relationship, so I don't think it's that I don't have any "long term potential" at all. I think it's the type of men on OkCupid. I will not be using dating sites to meet guys anymore, surprisingly, the old school way seemed to work better in my case.

Reviewed by 57 customers

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(0 of 1 customers found this review helpful)

 
4.0

I'm a Fan :)

By 

from Little Rock, AR

Comments about OKCupid.com:

This site is really good as far as free dating sites go. Honestly I used several paid and unpaid and I was most impressed with this one. Although some of the math questions it asks are rather irrelevant in my opinion, I did meet the love of my life on this site. We have been together almost 2 years and been married almost a year. I recommend this to all of my friends who are looking to try online dating because it worked so well for me!

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  • I received a sample

(1 of 1 customers found this review helpful)

 
1.0

Stay away from OKCupid if you're a woman

By 

from Toronto

Comments about OKCupid.com:

Been on OKCupid for 2 months now and the experience is really disappointing to be honest. All I can say is: If you happen to be a really attractive woman with an outgoing, fun personality, this site will have you swiping left 95% of the time. The 5% of dates you go on will be with men who are average or below average looks wise and who pass a vague resemblance to their actual pics. Personality wise they will be creepy, on a rebound **** fest, socially awkward or just plain uninteresting...or often times a combo of all four. Terrible. Coupled with their sub-bar faces you'll be ending the date early so you can go home and chill with your Netflix. If you happen to stumble upon a genuinely attractive guy with a seemingly interesting profile, it's almost 100% guarantee that the pics are fake or of some IG male model. Seriously. Steer clear of OKCupid, ladies.

  • Affiliation:
  • I received a sample

(2 of 2 customers found this review helpful)

 
2.0

beware of catfish

By 

from Texas

Comments about OKCupid.com:

I have been a member of OKCupid for several years. I have met several nice people there but most recently about 90% of the users that contact me are catfish and scammers. There are catfish and scammers on every dating site. Monitoring of OKC used to be very diligent and profiles were deleted quickly once reported. Now it's several days or up to a week. But if you are patient, eventually real people can be found. Just be wary, look for the scammer grammar speech, avoid profiles that are Native American Vegetarian, Engineers that travel a lot in their jobs. Not to insult any actual Native Americans that are really vegetarian and engineers. But that has been the profile of every single scammer on OKC that has contacted me. Additionally, Google Image Search is your friend.

(0 of 1 customers found this review helpful)

 
5.0

So thankful

By 

from San Diego, CA

Comments about OKCupid.com:

Thank you okcupid for giving me my soulmate. I can't imagine a life without him in it and we may have never met if it was not for you.

 
3.0

It's decent

By 

from Massachussetts

Comments about OKCupid.com:

OkCupid is a good place to start if you're looking for a internet dating site. There have been some problems though. You have to pay a monthly fee to see who likes you and if someone read your message, but in return you can visit peoples site and not worry about them seeing that you visited (Works great if you visit people who are starkers IRL, Happened to me once, visited a girls page, wasn't entrusted in her, kept sending me messages.)

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  • I received a sample

(3 of 4 customers found this review helpful)

 
1.0

WHAT A COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME

By 

from NYC

Comments about OKCupid.com:

For anyone serious about meeting someone substantial DO NOT BOTHER.

(6 of 6 customers found this review helpful)

 
4.0

It's pretty good

By 

from USA

Comments about OKCupid.com:

It's definitely something fun and a unique experience compared to other dating sites. I was hesitant on dating online because i thought online dating was for middle-aged plus lol, but actually I felt perfectly at ease with this site. I do believe it is more for the "younger" crowd, with all the quirky quizzes and things. I met my long-term boyfriend on this site and we've been together for 6 months now :) There are a lot of creepy guys on the site, and there are some who are genuinely trying to find a good relationship.

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(14 of 15 customers found this review helpful)

 
2.0

UsedToBeOKCupid

By 

from USA

Comments about OKCupid.com:

All the dating sites suffer from the same basic flaws. For one thing, they have the naturally counterproductive business model of a drug company. If they cure you, you don't come back, so the idea is to keep you...forever. Now that OKCupid is part of Match, their goal is to entice you to pay. Gone are the days of the OKCupid blog with all the fun and enlightening statistics. They used user-generated tests that were aimed at matching people up. They’re all but gone now. The questioning is still there, but their algorithms for determining matchiness has never made much sense (if one potential partner wants kids and the other doesn’t shouldn’t that automatically qualify has 0% match and 100% enemy?)

Second, they try to cater to a wide audience with different wants and needs the same way. Consider two single 25-year-olds versus two divorced 50-year olds with children. These pair are at different stages of life looking for different things, yet OKCupid treats them the same way. Hint: it’s really geared to the former, not the latter.

Third, profiles can be open-ended. That is, they can contain virtually no information or they can be filled with photos, questions, tests. There is no set bar and no real mechanism to entice the former to become the latter. A way to reverse this is to make the lazy people pay. Give them 30 days to get a feel for the site and then they either fill in their profile or start paying up.

Men overwhelmingly email women who are thus overwhelmed with emails. There is no filtering mechanism to manage it. (POF offers this, but it’s strangely voluntary, not mandatory.)

Some people are bound to have success here. They are after all bringing people together who do want the same basic thing. Do with enough people long enough and there’s bound to be some measure of success, but they’re not going out of their way to help with it.

Ease of Use
It's pretty easy to fill out profiles and the searching is reasonably sophisticated, though it's based mostly on cosmetics and their determination of matchiness.

Customer Service
They're keeping the site up and running and things work, but there seems to be an active effort at maintenance and nothing more.

Features
OKCupid has a lot under the hood in terms of the questions, tests and personality descriptions, but their making less and less use of use of it and they're not encouraging their members too either.

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(1 of 1 customers found this review helpful)

 
3.0

It's more for teens.

By 

from USA

Comments about OKCupid.com:

I have had my fair share of dating website profiles just to see what's our there. Okcupid.com is a decent website when it comes to free dating sites. However, I feel it is aimed at the younger crowd. They give you a questionnaire to fill out so that they can match you with people similar to your tastes. They also ask silly questions that get put directly on your profile. They have a creepy feature where you can wink at people. If I was 16 maybe I would use Okcupid.com.

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(4 of 4 customers found this review helpful)

 
3.0

Not bad for the price

By 

from Santa Cruz, CA

Comments about OKCupid.com:

I signed up because this was the only full-service free dating site I could find. I can search, see who viewed my profile, and send emails at no cost.

That being said. . .to some extent, you get what you pay for. A lot of people post photos that aren't very flattering or aren't even of them (even though the site's policy clearly states that such photos will be removed). It is nice that you can indicate what you are looking for - friends, dating, pen-pals, casual sex, etc. - but I have not experienced a great 'return' for my efforts on the site. A lot of men haven't responded to my messages (not even a 'thanks, but I don't think we'd be a fit'), and over a dozen have emailed me very crude. . .um, let's call them "invitations," even though my profile says I am looking for friends or dating, not hook-ups.

The matching system also needs some work; I have asked for people 'near me' (within, I think, 30 miles), and I am getting suggested matches from over 50 miles away, plus lots of views from other countries (I am apparently quite hot in Finland. .. )

I have had 5 dates/meet ups from the site in about 3 months; one led to several dates, one was a disaster, two were 'meh,' and one was actually a friend I haven't seen in years, and we've rekindled a great friendship (go figure.)

I am also on a paid-subscription site with no major difference in success. I would say overall, this site's as good as any other, and much cheaper.

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