Movies & TV Discussions

I used to think I knew how to raise children...until I had my own. "Even the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray."

Here's some food for thought:

I read a Junie B. Jones book to my children the other night. Cute book. Funny. Junie B. decided to give herself a haircut. After reading the book, I looked directly at my 4-year-old and we had a discussion about how cutting one's own hair was not a very good idea. Fast forward a few days. Husband is watching the children. Not only did the 4-year-old have a new 'do, but all of the baby's curls were gone.

Advertisers (including ones on this site) bank on the hope that the media influences our behavior.

Am I a good parent? I hope so. I'm particular about what my kids see. Are there even children's shows that show characters using very poor judgment, being disrespectful, and downright rude? You bet. I try to screen, but sometimes they get past me. I'd love to have more choices that demonstrate my values, but I guess those shows don't make much money.

Katrena said…

I used to think I knew how to raise children...until I had my own.

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That's the perfect quote, Katrena... thanks!

We so often think we know what's best for a group of people: Children shouldn't do this, seniors need to have more of that, families all should want this. However, the reality is that "children" aren't some group that does what a book says they do. Each child is a little person, with his/her own personality, distinct intelligence and a unique outlook on the world. Some children well raised by good parents will turn out to be bad teens, and some kids raised in poverty with parents who are mostly not around will turn out to be good teens and productive adults. Sure, the parents have some affect on the kids, but upbringing is not and will never be the sole factor in a child's personality or behavior. They are each individuals and will continue to confound us because of that.

--Bob

As a retired Social Worker who worked with kids and parents, taught parenting classes and have my own now adult kids I absolutely believe in nature and nurture. Having said that I believe 5 to 15% of kids are born "bad" i.e. have a propensity toward bad behavior that even the best nurturing can't undo. I also don't think kids are good or bad - that their behavior is good or bad.

The worst environments produce the best and brightest and the worst and those who end up in jail and vice versa.  Kids with at least one significant loving communicative  parent do really well know matter what they watch on television.

In today's highly congested, short attention span world, television is a stimulus, one that (some) young kids will emulate if left unchecked.  I monitor and monitored what my children watch and watched.  For instance MTV and BET were out, and so was The Simpsons.  Yes, children are all different endowed with their own personalities and susceptibly to outside stimulus.  As parents we have a responsibility to monitor what our children have access to, good and bad.  In my opinion shows like The Family Guy, The Simpsons, South Park, Sarah Silverman Show, etc. are not suitable for children under a certain age.  

We (parents) shape our children, but so does the environment around them; we ignore it at our collective peril.  There is no one thing responsible for this batch of largely spoiled, disrespectful , needy, and immature American children, who lack pride of country and of self, it is a combination of things that all start at home.                

I would have to say that it is some of both... Life is shaping TV but TV is also shaping life.  I see it all the time where I work.  We have a few kids who are always talking about UFC fighting and other stuff similar to that and try to emulate the shows in the classroom.  On the other side I do let my son watch things like Spiderman and Transformers but not things like UFC and such.  There's a big difference between them as well.  Possibly due to parenting skills but also what they are allowed to watch as parenting flows into what they watch.

So it sounds like most of you agree that it isn't the TV alone that makes your kids into the adults they become.  That's good to know!  I agree that you choose what your kids watch, and if any parents allows them to watch an R rated bloody movie when they are 5, or Gossip Girl when they are 6, they are just asking for trouble. 

I agree also that even kids shows show kids acting up but I would hope that the lessons in those shows get to the kids as well.  Kids mess up and kids still do things like cut their own hair, but I'm talking about larger values than that.  I watched a lot of shows as a teen that showed a lot of things going on, things which I never dreamed of trying because of the way I was taught those things are not good to do!  So maybe I'm not talking so much about 5 year olds when I say all this, mostly almost-teens and teenagers.  If TV is making them act out and do things like the shows, I would hope that it would only happen 1 time before the parents intervened.

For example, watching this show on MTV called Sex with my parents where Dr. Drew talks to teens and their parents about sex and the parents are always shocked to find out how much their teens are having.  A lot of times the parents say stuff like "while I thought maybe 1 person but not 5!"  So if they thought she had sex with 1 person, why didn't they talk to her about it?  Maybe it wouldn't have gotten to 5 if they had been more involved.

Don't get me wrong, I know kids can go bad regardless of how hard their parents try, but I just don't think that blaming TV as the sole reason for our nations teenage problems is the way to go.

Oh and btw, the reason this comment ticked me off was more b/c I'm an adult and I reviewed the game FOR ADULTS.  SO for someone to come and rant about how horrible shows like this are for kids, it drives me nuts.  Should we start making adult shows more PG-13 just in case some crazy parent is letting their kid watch it??  I don't think so.

BTW also, I wrote a review here recently for Underworld, in which I said this:

"Anyone who brings there 6 year olds to this needs to be put in jail! There were at least 5 kids under the age of 10 in the theater and I couldn't believe it! There is violence, nudity, and did I mention blood? It's rated R for a reason people!"

So that shows me that ultimately if kids pick something up from that movie, the parents are to blame for bringing them to the movie - not the movie itself.  I think some parents are starting to get desensitized to the crazy world around us, and they forget that even though they are no longer shocked by anything anymore, their kids still shouldn't be allowed to watch it.

I totally agree with you. It is not the movies, TV shows, videos, etc etc. It is the parents. I mean I couldn't even watch Jaws when it was released. My parents laid down the law when it came to movies and tv shows. Nowadays, parents let their kids watch anything and play with any video game. Some of the things on the Internet is not good for kids either. My cousin monitors her teenager daughter's Internet activities and her daughter does not even know it. I hate to think what is going to be bad out there when my baby gets older. He will not be allowed to watch movies, tv shows, video games, or even Internet sites that I do not approve of. At least with the computer/Internet you can setup child controls and monitor their activities. Even on my DIRECTV, you can setup child controls. But when parents take their kids to an "R" Rated movie, they are to blame not the movie content.  

Oh I just remember one more, I saw kids (maybe 7-10) at the theater when we went to see Friday After Next.  A movie about drugs, swearing, and fighting... and the kids were laughing like crazy at the dirty jokes and I was thinking they shouldn't even understand those jokes!  It was sad.

Shoot!  I lost my statements, arg.  Anyway I basically said to krislynn that I'll also be blocking shows from my kids.  There are plenty of wholesome yet fun shows on Disney and Nickelodean (just not the N or Noggin or whatever they call that other channel of there's where they really go a little overboard).

I watch Disney and Nick shows so I'm familiar with what they are teaching and I think overall they have a lot of good lessons.  Someone mentioned the Simpsons above.  While I would let my kids watch The Simpsons as long as I was sure they understood the difference between Cartoon and Real Life.  I say it's OK because I myself watched the Simpsons since it started (I was 8 when it started in 1989) and I knew it was just for entertainment and no something that should be copied.  I guess it depends on your kid as well.  If you know your kid to copy everything they see or hear, then maybe you have to be more cautious.

So it sounds like most of you agree that it isn't the TV alone that makes your kids into the adults they become. That's good to know! I agree that you choose what your kids watch, and if any parents allows them to watch an R rated bloody movie when they are 5, or Gossip Girl when they are 6, they are just asking for trouble.

Correct and research will concur.

vivasuzi said…

If TV is making them act out and do things like the shows, I would hope that it would only happen 1 time before the parents intervened.

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This would mean the parents would need to be invloved in their children's lives.  More than likely the parent has no idea what the kid is watching as well as that the behavior is occuring.