Kindergarten Cop - 1990 Review

Circa 1990, no one did action films like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Some came close, such as Bruce Willis and Steven Seagal, and a few others sometimes made action films work. Then there was comedy. The number of action film stars who could pull off a comedy was vanishingly small -- besides Schwarzenegger there is really only Bruce Willis. True, Bruce Willis was REALLY good at action/comedy but Arnie's strong suit in this regard was poking gentle fun at himself. And that's where Kindergarten Cop shines most strongly.

Kindergarten Cop is really three films in one. There is a standard police/action film where the good cops stop the evil drug lord. Then there is the kids-say-the-darndest-things-and-exasperate-the-huge-man movie. Finally, there is the romance flick, where the handsome stranger sweeps the sweet schoolteacher off her feet. If you don't like all three of these plots, you probably won't really like Kindergarten Cop. If you only want action, the middle of this film will bore you to tears. If you think this is going to be a sweet film about kids and nothing but kids, you will be shocked at the violence and language. I enjoyed all three aspects of Kindergarten Cop, and therefore think this is a very good movie.

Of the three plots, the romance angle is the weakest, but I have to give it credit for being there at all. If it is at all convincing, it's because of Penelope Ann Miller's performance as a vulnerable single mom with a secret. Another standout in Kindergarten Cop is Linda Hunt as a highly skeptical principal of the school in which Arnold reluctantly becomes a kindergarten teacher. The real standouts in this film are the mother/son team of Carroll Baker and Richard Tyson (as Eleanor and Cullen Crisp), who are perhaps the most interesting mother/son crime team ever committed to film. Creepy and compelling, you can't help but cheer when Arnie finally gets them in the end. Pamela Reed is also a hoot as Arnie's police partner.

I enjoyed Kindergarten Cop and will watch it anytime it happens to be on TV. This is not a children's film -- it has strong language, some adult situations, a man abusing his wife and child, as well as lots of graphic violence and gunplay. I recommend this for ages 13 and older. However, for adults, the satisfying high-action beginning and end frames a funny, romantic center. Oh, by the way... "It's not a tumor!"

I recommend Kindergarten Cop.