Scripture LITE for an Amoral Consumerist Flock
Open-minded
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MAR
25
2008
In the bible according to Joel Osteen, God *WANTS* you to be happy. He *WANTS* you to be successful, because he created you in his image, so when YOU trade in that little Hyundai econobox for a sleek, gas guzzling, new Corvette, not only do *YOU* look like a million bucks, but so does God!! Whoo-Hoo!!!
The convoluted illogic of a Joel Osteen sermon is as disgusting as it is a blatant display of how to violate Gods will while telling people on national TV that you're doing just the opposite. Self-justification of amorality, that's the crux of Osteen's message. Osteen's unthinking flock of non-believing pretenders soaks it up like dog pee into a sponge.
Joel's whole sermons are based around YOU being all you can be. Buy that new big screen TV!! After all, Joel Osteen will look even sharper and more debonnare in High Def, won't he?!? Sure he will, and that means God's glory is coming through to your living room in all its technicolor glory! Hallelujah! Find yourself a good prayer based church. Preferably one with preachers as well coiffed as Joel.
If you think I'm exaggerating, just listen to a Joel Osteen sermon or two, but do so with an open mind and at least one or two of your Sunday bible school messages in mind.
Are you as troubled as I am by Osteen's lack of ability to talk about things like humility or restraint? In Osteen's brand of sermon, the meek don't inherit the earth, they tell themselves they deserve it and go all out, 100% to grab it while they can!!
Osteen is all about the superficial. He never provides any real guidance on nagging little questions of Christian ethics. Joel is big on finding biblical passages that seem to tell you to go get a better job, buy more stuff and live large, but he has some trouble with concepts like the 10 commandments, which have bad little words like "thou shalt not" in them. Negative, negative. We can't do negative thoughts in Joel's Lakewood Church!! Joel's brand of humble piety is to make a joke about how cute he is and how funny his jokes are. The "power of positive thought" sure plays better to wealthy suburbanites than would a message of "thou shalt not covet thy neighbors goods".
Unfortunately, Osteen is an arrogant, pompous blow-hard who, like many TV evangalists, puts himself before God while ignoring any parts of the bible that might make his fat, overpaid, wealthy, conservative, suburban audience squirm in their seats or question their beliefs. Considering that Osteen's church is little more than a storefront for selling his motivational books, motivational tapes, and motivational DVDs, it should come as little surprise that Osteen is the kind of "humble preacher" who seeks out all the late night talk show appearances he can squeeze in. Precious little credibility can be placed in his alleged job title of "preacher".
I'm sorry, but Joel Osteen is no preacher and not even much of a Christian. Overpaid TV celebrity and decent motivational speaker...no doubt...lousy preacher though.
Last edited on Mar 25, 2008
Joel Osteen is not recommended by mrkstvns
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