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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
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NicoLives's Review
Bush may have bailed out Ford, but Harrison is not getting any h
a movie buff
DEC
22
2008
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull —
Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Bush may have bailed out Ford, but Harrison is not getting any help from Indian Jones enthusiasts. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (IJKCS) is the fourth film in the Indiana Jones series, and will hopefully be the last.
In IJKCS, Harrison Ford plays the daring, adventure-seeking archaeologist infamously known as Indiana Jones. For those who may not remember, Indiana Jones is an archaeology professor who has a unique expertise of tracking and finding rare artifacts. While respected by his peers for his great knowledge of ancient history, his female students adore him for his good looks and miraculous stories of adventure. In this film however, Jones is not in the midst of his youthful prime as in the other three movies. Instead, Jones plays the over-the-hill fifty-eight year old whose whip and fedora are more than just dusty.
After nearly twenty years of inactivity, Indiana Jones is brought back into action. The year is 1957. The United States and Russia are in the middle of the Cold War. Indiana Jones is brought into his country’s conflict when Russians kidnap him. The Soviets take him to Area 51 to recover an alien creature. After escaping, Jones unites with greaser Mutt Williams (Shia LeBeouf) who informs him his colleague (Harold Oxley) has gone missing. Oxley disappeared after finding a Crystal Skull believed to have supernatural powers.
In Peru, Jones and Williams find the Crystal Skull, but the Soviets capture them. In custody, they meet Williams’ mother who is also a former lover to Jones, Marion Ravenswood (Karen Allen). It is here that the audience learns that Williams is the love child of Jones and Ravenswood. They escape captivity along with Oxley, the Crystall Skull, and a former ally of Jones’ known as Mac. Mac leaves a trail for the soviets as the group find their way to the Temple of Akator.
The group enters the Temple to find thirteen crystal skeletons with one missing its head. They place the skull atop the last skeleton and a series of absurd, illogical, and disconnected events ensue. It all ends with the skeletons turning into aliens, a portal absorbing most of the room, and a flying saucer rising above the debris. The Amazon River of course swallows all of the evidence while Ravenswood, Jones, and their son share a warm Kodak moment.
If that isn’t the most unrealistic, idiotic plot of 2008, then I don’t want to know what is. Since when is the womanizing player with a kick-ass name like Indiana Jones supposed to have touching moments with an estranged son and an old flame? If you don’t know, it is never supposed to happen. The portrayal of Jones as a grown-up, grey-haired, family man should have George Lucas and Steven Spielberg going to confession; they sold Indiana Jones’ soul to the devil for a few million bones.
The first failure of this movie occurs after Jones escapes from the Soviets at Area 51. He finds himself in the middle of a nuclear test site with a bomb set to blow at any moment. Jones runs around until he finds himself in a kitchen surrounded by mannequins. Just before the atomic bomb goes off, Jones dives into a refrigerator, shuts the door, and gets blown a few miles away. He may have gotten a little disoriented, but that’s the worst of it.
Luckily for Jones, they had nuke-proof fridges that were conveniently located at nuclear test sites in 1957 (god forbid an atomic bomb went off and my soda wasn’t chilled). Indiana Jones lives through an atomic blast only twenty minutes into the film, while contributing nothing to the plot. There is a tradition of somewhat extreme stunts in the previous films, but this time it was needlessly taken too far. It was disliked by fans of the series so much, that the term “nuked the fridge” is now used to denote the series’ passing its peak and crossing into the absurd.
The fridge-nuking incident is not the only ridiculous plot twist of the movie. The idea of a supernatural crystal skull actually had me interested for most the movie. It seemed like some dignified power similar to the Arc of the Covenant or the Holy Grail would surely make an entrance into the movie. This, however, was not the case. Instead of going down a road that the audience would want to follow, IJKCS incorporated aliens and a flying saucer. Not only was this irritating, but also just like the supposed existence aliens, all of the evidence disappeared by the power of the Amazon River.
Although there are some inconsistencies with the storyline and character development of Indiana Jones, George Lucas did manage to leave some things alone. The supporting character of Harold Oxley acts as all the other professors that accompany Jones on his trips. He is there to read all the required languages, clarify the myths, and explain everything that no one would ever know. Instead of a boat chase/fight scene on the seaside of Venice, Italy, there is a similar chase fought in Jeeps on two parallel roads in the Amazon Jungle. Even though there is no likely chance that there would ever be two parallel roads dividing up a dense jungle.
The similarities continue with man-eating ants taking the place of snakes or tarantulas from the previous movies. Of course there is an uncovering of an ancient tomb filled with gold, otherwise you would forget that the whole movie is about an archaeologist. The tradition of the bad guys dieing, Indiana saving the day, while also collecting his ‘booty’ from some lady at the end, continues through IJKCS.
All in all, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a disappointment. The introduction of aliens and Indiana as a family man is sickening. If the writers, producers, and director had just stuck to Jones’ original tough-guy, non-alien seeking character, this disaster could have been avoided. Although the literal villains in this movie are the Soviets, the real villains are George Lucas and Steven Spielberg for ruining the once untarnished legend of Indiana Jones.
Last edited on Dec 22, 2008
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is not recommended by NicoLives
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