Health Discussions

Which time? LOL my oldest is 21. 1) had a plan and pretty much stuck to it. one kick in the pants, had to stop labor and take medication for 6 weeks to keep it from coming early. had him basically natural 45 minutes after arriving at the hospital. 2) had a plan and ended up just minutes away from a C-section -- best laid plans and all that. 14 hours .. . nothing went as planned 3) fetal demise 4) had a plan and it went just as planned. 5) had a plan and it was shot to hell and back --grace was born at home and the paramedics barely made it in time to catch the ball. would i do anything different ? maybe ask bryan to take me to hospital before taking my daughter to school. :-) that would have bought me just enough time to arrive and change clothes before the baby made her appearance. know this -- birth plans are there for a reason -- basically to provide a level of comfort and knowledge to the expecting mother. but no PLAN can prepare you for everything so accept the knowledge, feel comfort in your decisions BUT also depend on the knowledge and experience of your care team. also don't let the changes in the plan make you feel guilty or ashamed or like you did something wrong. look at it this way, have you ever planned for a vacation and then gotten there and changed it all around? it was still a great vacation just didn't go as planned. also, my suggestion save your money use over the counter prenatals.

I don't plan to have children.... but I have reviewed pregnancy tests and my current birth control. 

If everything had gone as "planned" my boys would be about 3 years older than they are right now :)  We had the darnedest time just getting the first one so 2.5 years after we thought we were "ready" was when he was really supposed to come. 

I've thought about reviewing the maternity ward where I had my kids but just never have gotten around to it.  I'm slowly getting to some of the prenatal/baby supplies as well.

Well my oldest is 30 so it's been awhile but I'll take a shot

Did you have an awesome experience and wouldn't change a thing? My oldest - the experience was pretty bad. I had gone to classes, knew all about what to do, but when I got to the hospital I really couldn't control the pain. They wheeled me in to have an epideral and the doc said "Too late - the baby's coming" so they gave me a spinal and my daughter was born about 1 hour after I got to the hospital.

With my second I wouldn't do anything different and it was awesome.  I was prepared - no  drugs - nothing. She's now a doctor. Having said this I don't think there is any right or wrong way to have a baby. I'm not better for having no drugs nor would I be worse if I had the epidural.

Did you have a birth plan until you became pregnant and/or gave birth?

I did. I planned to not have an at home mid wife. I planned on no drugs both times but I also held open the epidural option.

How would you do things differently if you had it to do over again?

I would without a doubt have an epidural. As great as the experience was with my second the pain is amazing and I wouldn't go through that again.

Have your reviewed your OB physician, hospital, nausea meds, prenatal and baby supplies, birth control, etc? lol N/A

Lisa - I think we were putting the crib together the night before I had my oldest daughter. Maybe I should have realized those pains weren't Braxton Hicks!!

As I've been reading the posts up above, I remember how I wished my labor would progress! Over 34 hours with the first. In transition (dilated 9-9 1/2) for about 6 hours with the 2nd. Contractions every 2 minutes with the third but only dilated to about a 4.

My births were so different though. I tore so badly with the first--needed about 40 stitches and then got mastitis and intraductal yeast in the first week. I didn't know which end hurt worse. I had the second at a Birth Center. She was 9 1/2 pounds but I barely tore. Got to bring her home just a few hours later, but it was a rough ride home since it snowed, sleeted and hailed while I was giving birth! I had a miscarriage next, and I miss the beautiful child that I hope to meet some day. The last baby went into distress and I had to get an emergency C-section.

Looking back, each birth experience was special and I will always cherish that moment when we got our first face-to-face glimpse! I feel so fortunate to have three beautiful daughters. I drove about an hour each way to get prenatal care at a Birth Center that was staffed by midwives. I was so disappointed when they closed the birthing rooms.

The nurses were especially good, and the lactation consultant was great in helping me through so many breastfeeding problems. The midwives were attentive to my needs, and I had mentioned ahead of time that I'd need gluten-free and dairy-free products if I needed to go to the hospital. The OB doctor who did the C-section acted like it was too much trouble to see if the medications he ordered were gluten-free. Some of the dietary staff acted like items should be gluten-free if they didn't list wheat as an ingredient, and that's not necessarily true.

If I had it to do again, I'm not sure I would drive so far for appointments. After the birth rooms closed, it seemed that some of the personalized care was gone. When I went back 6 weeks after my c-section, the midwife asked me how my bottom was. If she didn't even remember anything about the birth, she could have at least read the chart. That was a big disappointment.

I guess I learned with being pregnant and having babies that:

• Some people will say they want to know what names you've picked out only to tell you how much they dislike the name.
• Weird things happen to me when I'm pregnant (tendonitis, carpal tunnel, became unable to urinate)
• I have absolutely no will power when pregnant.
• I's good to have a sense of humor, especially when everyone asks if you are carrying twins or say "So, you haven't had that baby yet????" when you're 2 weeks overdue or they ask "When are you going to have that baby?" when you just had the baby a few days ago.
• Being nine months pregnant in September can make a person rather hot.
• Colic can make birth seem easy (all three of mine had colic).

My birth plans changed a lot with each child. In the first one, I had wanted my husband to be right there to assist in delivering the baby and I had lots of specific details worked out on paper. I think the only thing I had on my birth plan for the second one was that I didn't want to tear. With my last, I just hoped to have a living, breathing baby at the end but I'm not sure if I wrote that down!

I feel for any of you who are pregnant or planning a family for the future. Try to enjoy every minute. Let someone take a picture of you while you're pregnant. Go ahead and let the kids fingerpaint on your belly. Other women (and maybe even a few men) will understand if you have to excuse yourself after sneezing or laughing. Most mothers will feel for you if you cry at the strangest times. It's a journey that has its ups and downs, but for me it's been a journey well worth it.

check this out on 20/20...about possibility of childbirth as exstatic...spiritual...sensual experience. (8 min story follows the commercial) goto film by going to the orgasmicbirth web page. scroll down to the directors blog and click on ABC 20/20 to watch an 8 min piece on the matter (have to first watch a commercial...) 

i saw the full film here in St. Louis and it was not all about just "orgasmic" births...but showed options and that birth is not only painful and invasive like you see on TV...a good reminder for us to shoot for the stars when we plan our birthing experiences and not to limit our plans to the type of births portrayed on TV...painful and medically invasive. i birthed both of our girls in the hospital but it felt as gentel and calm in the room as a home birth. having a doula helps so much fro this, and my husband was a major player in making things comfortable and supportive for me. water helps so much and a jacuzzi tub with strong jets took away half the intensity. a real help in me having both naturally i think.

from my own two births i would recommend women ask to give their babies their first bath after birth...gentle and wonderful to do together in your room. safe and warm for baby, builds trust and is a wonderful bonding experience i wouldn't have traded for the world.

Suzanne, a.k.a. Zen Mommy (mymommymanual)

I can't comment on the questions (LOL) but I thought I would add a news story about childbirth. Yesterday in downtown Denver a woman gave birth to a baby in the entranceway to the main library.  The baby was perfectly healthy and the staff made up a library card for her.  She's the youngest library card holder on record :)

I've heard a lot of people say they really benefitted from having a doula, Suzanne. I did get to give my second child her first bath at the Birth Center, and it was such a great experience. I had wanted to do that with my latest child, but couldn't because of the unexpected c-section, so I asked that my two daughters and husband do it at the hospital. I also tried getting in the tub with my first two, but it slowed my labor both times. It felt good to rest a bit, but my births tended to take quite a while anyway.

Well, that's certainly interesting about the new baby and her library card, Jovial Cougar. I wonder if the Mom checked out any books for the little one! (And I've heard that a lot of the Dad's birth plans include just surviving the pregnancy, mood swings, hormones, and such!)

   Firstly, mine was a whopping 32 hours of labor! If I could control that I would! I'd do a lot of things differently. I didn't have a birth plan and I now know I should have. With my son being my 1st, so far, Everything happened so intensely and my hormones were so out of wack that I didn't know how to express my needs. My hubby's mother told me to "suck it up and not say anything mean when in labor, because you're fortunate to have this experience." Though they adopted other children, my husband was her only pregnancy, because she technically wasn't supposed to have children, so he was her "miracle baby." I can understand that and the experience was special, but I was mad that his mother was in the room the whole time I was contracting, even when the doctor came in to check, she would not leave! I was okay with people visiting and then leaving or waiting in the waiting room, but besides the doctors and nurses, the only one I wanted in the room was my husband, but I didn't say anything because I was afraid of hurting other people's feelings and I should have said something because I was so vulnurable at the time and it was soooo ackward! I regularly went into the bathroom to cry to myself, I was so upset about this! The next one, it will be my hubby only!

   Oh! I did finally ask him if only he could be there for the actual labor/pushing? He asked his mom. The dr and nurses were all getting me ready to deliver. . . She made him come back to me and beg me to let her stay. . . He asked and I rolled me eyes up at him with a tear streaming down and a look of humiliation, as if to say, "please, no, I'm embarrassed enough as it is." and he just walked away a moment. He came back and said, "never mind, baby, this moment is just for me and you!" That meant a whole lot to me!

   I also think I might go to a birthing center instead of a hospital this time. I also will make sure I love my OBGYN, maybe even a female one. I rarely saw the OB I had, it was mostly his nurses and in the delivery room, he was so impersonal because I barely knew him, which I should have taken into consideration, being that the OBGYN sees my kooter! (Sorry if that was TMI!)

   I definitely will be speaking up for my needs the next time, because I kept quiet too much when I didn't know what I was going through and that was more scary than anything.

Wow--that does sound like a rough experience! It is REALLY hard to anticipate what your needs might be before having that first child in particular, but it does sound like this forum can give people ideas for what types of things they might include on birth plans.

I remember for my second birth I had other family members play with my first child and people were welcome to come in and out to a point. After I had the 2nd baby, I loved having a few moments to clean up and take a bath with her and then had my first child to come in to meet her sister before any other family members. She got to be the FIRST, and that was a big deal to her since she would be sharing her life with this new little baby.

I've heard of older kids who actually get to see the birthing of their sibling from mom's view (behind mom's shoulders) and it's bonded the siblings. Anyone have any experience with this?

I've had several friends whose children witnessed the birth--I would highly recommend that they go to a class where they will learn about what to expect and have the opportunity to ask questions. 

I gave my oldest the option of seeing the birth of the second baby, but after I was in transition (dilated 9 to 9 1/2) for about 5 hours, she wasn't all that interested in seeing the birth--frankly, I wasn't even sure I wanted to push when the time came because I was worried about tearing bad enough to need 40 stitches like the first time around but was pleasantly surprised that my 9 lb 8 oz baby didn't even leave much of a tear at all. (lots of warm compresses and a great midwife and nurse helping)

Both of the girls wanted to see our latest arrival during the birth but I had to have an emergency c-section because of fetal distress. They got to be the first ones in to see the baby and then went to help give her a bath with Dad (even though I had wanted to do that but had to do some post-op stuff instead--it was all ok though because the nurse was absolutely wonderful and we had a wonderful little baby for everyone to love at the end)

I did not have an awesome experience but it was what it was. Being a high risk patient from the start changes how my whole experience stacks up to most peoples. I would have preferred to have had my sone normally but ended up with a c-section and complications with that afterwards. So, yeah I would change it if I could.

I never had a birth plan since the pregnancy wasn't planned to begin with and I had no idea what I needed to know and all that jazz. In the end my lack of knowledge may have played a roll in the birth experience not being what it should have.

If I could do it over again I would try harder with my diabetes to get better control, thereby controlling my son's size a little bit more. I wouldn't have opted for the epidural so quickly since I would have insisted on being able to move around and not be laying in a bed the whole time. Once again my ignorance and lack of knowledge came into play there. I also wouldn't have given in so quickly to having a c-section; i would have pushed for more time and all that.

I have not reviewed anything other than thinking back to how it could have been if I had just done my research ahead of time and pushed things a bit harder to get what I wanted.

It sounds like your experience is probably similar to a LOT of people's experience in that you would have done some things differently, Majikme. Looking back, I would have done some things differently as well and hope people who read this discussion may be able to get some ideas for future pregnancies or a current one or at least know that not everyone has had that picture perfect birth.

I found many people to be so supportive of me when I struggled so much with breast-feeding after my first child (and I have tried to write several reviews related to breastfeeding, for anyone who's looking for products to help). Several women really opened up to me and mentioned how much they wish they had breastfed or shared experiences they had with breastfeeding or with bottle feeding. Some just listened and were there.

I remember walking out to the parking lot and struggling to carry the baby carrier. My breasts hurt so badly that my bottom with 40 sore stitches didn't hurt quite so badly. One woman walked up to me and looked at my precious baby that had colic and smiled at me and said "It doesn't get any better than this!" and went on her merry way. I think I must have cried for the rest of the day...  Now, if I see a new mother struggling to carry the baby and the bags, I'll offer to carry her bags to her car or to return her empty buggy and offer some encouragement!

I love labor stories!  I think we, as women, are AMAZING for what our bodies do.

Anywho...... I'm done having kids.  I have two boys & my labors were pretty good.  The 1st was 7 1/2 hours, and the second was.... 4 hours.  WEE HOO!  I contribute the speediness to my epidurals.  They really help you relax.  Now, my 1st epidural didn't take and I was very miserable.  With my 2nd, it was a whole other story!  WOW!  When those things work, they are 'da bomb.

I had to have episimote (SP?) with both boys.  The recovery from that really wasn't that fun, but those babies are worth it!  (most of the time)  LOL

I'm w/ you, Katrena.  I'm always helping women with little babies, strollers, etc.  I remember how hard it was trying to juggle all that stuff, and I was always so grateful to people that helped me.

if I could do anything different, it would be to have epidurals. My friends who had them loved them. I asked for one with my second, I had to have patocin and whoowee was that intense. But by the time the doc had the catheter in, i had to push. So much for that. I tore with my first and hurt so much after, had to have episiotomy with second as the cord was wrapped around her neck and she was in distress. My husband gave my kids their first baths with the nurse. I wouldn't let my second go, they kept asking for her and I just didn't want her out of my arms!!!

both labors were long, first was 14 hrs, second 13. Both times I pushed for an hour. My first was 3 weeks early, but healthy, my second was a week late and once we got her out, she was great.

I feel truly blessed to have experienced pregnancy and giving birth. I felt so powerful pushing my second baby out, despite the God awful pain, I was feeling such joy! The first baby I had a wretched nurse driving me nuts, but i was able to labor in the tub for a long time. It was worse the 1st time, I couldn't handle the pain as well. The 2nd time, I was more calm and I was walking around and talking, happy, etc. I also healed much faster second time around despite being 7 yrs older. The cut healed much better and less painfully than the tear.

I am past birthing age now:), and i feel sad when I think about that. But, thank God I have the 2 I do! 

Thanks so much for sharing your story, Dovey. It is strange to be in such pain but having a sense of joy at the same time. I did not find out the sex of any of my children, so it was a great celebration to discover that great surprise at the end!

I think a lot of women are sad to see that stage of childbearing and childrearing pass. I know I'm incredibly tired and feel stretched to the max at times, but I would not trade anything in the world for my children. I know one of the most important jobs that I have is to teach them to be self-sufficient, but it's also bittersweet to see them begin to grow a little more each day.

cmohr80 said…
I've heard of older kids who actually get to see the birthing of their sibling from mom's view (behind mom's shoulders) and it's bonded the siblings. Anyone have any experience with this?

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Actually we did. My older daughter was maybe 10 when my middle child was born. It was summer time and she was out of school and grandparents were 5 hours away. the hospital was so wonderful they had a nurse outside with her when it came time to push but she insisted on being present.  Since I didn't mind (heck by then Santa could have walked in the room and I wouldn't have noticed) the nurse brought her in and had a quiet corner out fo the way. She and her baby sister are incredibly close. The funny thing is sometimes I think the "baby" loves her big sister more.  But it was a wonderful experience for the whole family.  Baby three was born at home,  with the oldest at school and baby two asleep the whole time in her room. They are incredibly close but maybe it's because they are Irish twins! LOL only a year apart. As we left the house to go to the hospital it was so sweet for the two babies to look into each other eyes and for the older one to give a little touch. 

Lisa, that is sweet. Our little one lights up at the sight of her big sister. They are 7 yrs apart. She knows when her big sister is due on the bus and says her name and points outside. 

Oh that's adorable! It's amazing what they pick up on.  My 3 yr old says, "there's Dee Dee's school" whenever we drive past one.  But here a lot of the schools all look alike.  I just agree with her. (Dee Dee is her older sister Devon who at 14 alternates between loving her to pieces and wishing she would leave her alone)

Well, I've had one of each method I guess. Four pregnancies. First was a miscarriage. Second was a full term, no pain medicine, all natural vaginal delivery. For the third I used an epidural. Heavenly birth experience with no pain. Fourth was a cesarean because she was breech. I wouldn't change any of them except for the second one. NEVER get an episiotemy. Don't let them cut. I'd rather tear. When my ob cut me it took me four months to heal. I couldn't hardly sit. Healing from a cesarean was easier than that.

Oh yeah. I forgot to mention how much I hate pitocin! When pregnant I want to run screaming when I hear that word.

amen sister! pitocin bites, epis's bite and also that strong anti biotic they give for Strep B burns your arm right off 

ajcharters said…

Well, I've had one of each method I guess. Four pregnancies. First was a miscarriage. Second was a full term, no pain medicine, all natural vaginal delivery. For the third I used an epidural. Heavenly birth experience with no pain. Fourth was a cesarean because she was breech. I wouldn't change any of them except for the second one. NEVER get an episiotemy. Don't let them cut. I'd rather tear. When my ob cut me it took me four months to heal. I couldn't hardly sit. Healing from a cesarean was easier than that.

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I found healing from a cesarean much easier than healing from a tear (40 stitches). You have very different experiences sort of like my experiences. I'm sorry to hear of your miscarriage and I'm glad you were able to try again.

Well it's been a very long time since I had my first child. I was 17 years old and my Doctor told me I would be asleep. During labor I would hold my breath with each contraction which made my daughters heart beat slow down. Once they told me this I was breathing all the way through. I had natural childbirth with all of my children (4). The hardest part was after with each one. I was torn and sore and would get depressed because I couldn't do everything I wanted. They never slept during the night. I look back and wonder how I did it as my husband was no help. I guess being young was a good thing. With each child the entire time would be about 3-5 hours. Now I have 6 grandchildren. I have been blessed.

crusader52 said…
Well it's been a very long time since I had my first child. I was 17 years old and my Doctor told me I would be asleep. During labor I would hold my breath with each contraction which made my daughters heart beat slow down. Once they told me this I was breathing all the way through. I had natural childbirth with all of my children (4). The hardest part was after with each one. I was torn and sore and would get depressed because I couldn't do everything I wanted. They never slept during the night. I look back and wonder how I did it as my husband was no help. I guess being young was a good thing. With each child the entire time would be about 3-5 hours. Now I have 6 grandchildren. I have been blessed.

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I can relate to sooo much of what you said (other than the being young and having grandchildren parts!) It is funny to look back and wonder how we did some of the things we did out of necessity.