Did I read that right? Do you really want the men to open up?
Speaking as a male, I think most of us are taught just to "deal with it" and there is little if any sympathy - especially if it involves "debilitating" pain and - gasp! - time lost from work.
I was diagnosed with possible RA when I was 8 years old. It reappeared when I was 15 and it was then confirmed. We actually received partial financial reimbursement to put a pool in our backyard because the doctor considered it useful physical therapy.
At only 21, I was diagnosed with gout, a form of arthritis. I remember being in the doctor's office in sheer agony, in a real bad frame of mind, and he called in a roomful of medical students to look at my foot! They all kept commenting on how unusual it was to see a case of gout in such a young patient. Thoroughly dehumanizing and I'd like to have stabbed that doctor through the head at the time. No, we don't like them
About 4 years ago my arthritis began giving me migraines, starting from my neck to my head. I went to the doctor, then to a neurologist who told me he'd never seen a case as advanced as mine in anyone younger than their 80's. My entire scalp had gone totally numb, which concerned me - it was like touching a corpse, kinda freaky.
As at every other time in my life, the underlying cause was very simple - major stress buildup. And subsequently, complete and total insomnia. I tend to get totally lost in stress and always have.
It culminated with me leaving the high-paying job I was in and feeling "branded" in the process. Turns out the next two successive people they put in the position each quit within 2 months of taking over my old responsibilities. Both were long-term, highly regarded employees. I felt bad for them but personally vindicated, somewhat.
Being single, I haven't lived a healthy lifestyle, to say the least. Got married to Gin when I was 18. Broke up with her when I was 24. Fell in love again with Whiskey when I was about 25 and we stayed together far too long for my own good. For awhile I was managing a menage a trois with Whiskey and Gin then the first one left and Gin stayed. Bitch tried to kill me a few years ago and we've not been doing well since. See each other about once a week, sometimes less, these days. I always knew I should have married my childhood sweetheart Coca Cola anyway. (I see her on the downlow these days.)
I think that was the "package of problems" I was dealt and I'm proud to say I never made a real misstep over all those years - I never really got "drunk" the way others do - and if it was a question of who was the toughest - I like to think I won a typically hopeless battle. I did have minor strokes in '95 and '98 but did no damage. Sadly, my dad and many other members of my family - really tough Irish stock - didn't survive their "marriages".
Curiously, I never had gout or arthritis while I was drinking at my worst. Living wrong never disagreed with me the way it should. Now, at 47, I've never felt healthier. When I give blood my blood is so rich with nutrients it's nearly black, and it sinks like an achor when they test me.
Here's the lesson I want to share - when you reach my age, male or female, your priorities start to take on a major transformation and it's suddenly consistently more important to wake up feeling decent than it is to go to bed feeling awesome. Don't ask me how that happens, just have faith that it does. I think you just finally do get tired. I didn't forsee this level of calmness in my life at all, it just kind of arrived one day like a stray, but I'm not about to turn it away. In retrospect, I probably did encourage it these past few years - now there's an admission not many men will allow!
No sympathy needed here - I'm doing quite well. I did have a case of gout this weekend but it went away in less than 3 days. Been living too right, I guess.
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