Thanks for sharing PattyTherre! I have been looking for a way to fill some of the time that I get paid for doing nothing... I have always wanted to help out people, but I get bored easily. I signed up yesterday to take classes in ASL (American Sign Language). I have a perfectionist streak, so the challenge of learning a new way of expression coupled with helping someone out will be a pretty good fit, I think. Since I am already "getting paid" I plan to do it for free. I'd like to make life a little easier for people who have lost something important like a sense, so i will think of you. Consider me inspired.
I too, have ADD. I can't go on anything for it, because stimulant medications cause mania. Stress and insomnia are usually precursors to mania. During my last three years in Texas, I was awake for five days straight, slept a day, and awake for another five, along with the debilitating symptoms of mania, I was barely coherent because your mind is going anyway since it was not made to be awake for so long. My body finally gave out and I slept for almost a week, only to come back to the same sleep/wake cycle. When I get stressed, sleep is the first to go, followed closely by uncontrollable mania.
I too take Xanax for anxiety. I don't know if anyone here has ever had a panic attack while you are asleep. I get those and they are absolutely terrifying. When I am awake I know it's a panic attack, but if one wakes me up I think I am dying. Since I can't breathe and my heart is pounding so hard, i can't even move to wake up my husband so I just lay there scared. I can't even reach the Xanax.
I am on Seroquel for bipolar, and it works, but it has raised my triglycerides. I am trying fish oil and other dietary things. I do not want to be on a medication for that too! The Lamictal I am on also has thinned the enamel on my teeth so much that I have (conservatively) spent in the area of $3000 - $4000 out of pocket on my teeth. They are really painful to brush and if I need to have work done, I need to go under sedation because Novocain doesn't dull the pain. My dentist in Texas was such a cutie and so nice, and I vomited on him from the sedative. Talk about insult to injury!
I'm 36. Some days I feel more blessed than others, but I am hopeful for the future. Sometimes I feel like Laura from "The Glass Menagerie," because my husband has taken it on as his main purpose in life to shield me from stress. I appreciate it, but I am not that fragile, and I do have a very good sense of humor about it if people aren't overly ignorant. Like dlynell said, discussing symptoms is not asking for pity or attention.
Would you like to know what the number one thing is that perplexes me about all this? When people mistake my actual personality for mental illness! Uh, no... that's just Dayna. :)