Ferret Review

Don't get me wrong--ferrets are my all-time favorite animals. I'm happily devoting my life to them. They're gregarious, playful, loving, and smart. Not to mention soulful, soft, and loving.

But as a rescuer and shelter operator, I wish far fewer people would get ferrets. That way fewer ferrets would be homeless. I wouldn't recommend them for people who cannot afford huge vet bills, people with small children, or people who aren't willing to completely turn their lives upside down. They're also not for anyone who may be going off to college, transferring to California, or who would consider getting rid of the ferret after having a child. Your recliner? Gone--because of the danger it poses to the ferret. Your sofabed? And actually most of your upholstered furniture? Gone! Potted plants on the floor? Doggie door? The other sock? Gone, gone, gone! Oh, and remember that nice vacation you were going to take? I hope you still have enough money after your ferret gets sick, and that you can find someone who will actually understand your ferret well enough to take care of him. Forget leaving the door open even for a second. Forget turning on the dryer without first going through every item to make sure no ferrets crawled inside of it.

Look inside yourself, too. Many ferrets bite, if only out of playful exhuberance. You can't have an angry or kneejerk response to this, even when it hurts. (This requirement alone is beyond most people.) Ferrets steal things. Ferrets usually poop on the floor at least occasionally. Ferrets have to be allowed to do these things because they are FAR too energetic and intelligent to be kept in a cage. And they don't snuggle much to make up for it. At least, not much compared to many other animals. Is that really something you'll adore? Because ferrets are very sociable and sensitive, so they really need to be adored.

If you're not sure about what to get, if you're not able to afford LOTS of vet care, if you like real furniture, if you have no clue what commitment means, DON"T GET A FERRET!!