Empire Strikes Back - Star Wars Episode V Review

The Case

Okay, we're all familiar with the legendary, and sometimes infamous, Star Wars films.  We've all seen the movies - and if you haven't, I demand you stop reading and go watch them NOW! - we've all heard the quotes, we've all used the phrase "May the Force be with you."  Wait - doesn't everyone use that phrase in everyday conversation...? 

Uh, anyway, what I'd like to do here is rank the six SW movies in order from "The Best Flick of all Time That Makes Me Weep With Joy Every Time I Watch It" to "Oh My God, What The Heck Is This Abominable Monstrosity of a Thing and Why Does It Have The Name 'Star Wars' Attached To It?!"  For simplicity's sake, I'll refer to my ranking system on a numerical scale for the rest of this review.

Star Wars Movies - From Best to Worst:

#1 - Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
#2 - Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
#3 - Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
#4 - Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
#5 - Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
#6 - Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (otherwise known as 'The Best Flick of all Time That Makes Me Weep With Joy Every Time I Watch It!')

Regarding the original Star Wars trilogy (Episodes IV, V, and VI): I love them.  I have watched them all too many times to count, beginning at the age of 3 and continuing on until the present.  They're so enjoyable, and they deserve to be viewed as often as possible!  In my mind, the prequel trilogy is blasphemous and doesn't live up to the Star Wars name, so skip it if you haven't already been exposed to its depravity.  Just watch the originals.  And by that I mean the REAL originals, not the Special Editions.  Han shot first, man.  It's a fact of life!)

The Good

When it comes to sequels - and Star Wars movies in general - The Empire Strikes Back blows all competitors out of the sky and into sorry franchise oblivion.  Quite simply, Empire rules!  This film is the definition of spectacular.  Nothing could be better. 

It has just the right elements to follow up the smash hit Episode IV, too.  Our old characters are back and getting into even darker and more dangerous peril - I especially love the chase through the asteroid field and the battle on Hoth with the AT-ATs!  New characters, instead of just being fillers, actually contribute a great deal to the story, and they bring their own unique feel to the saga as well.  Lando and Yoda come to mind.  Especially Yoda.  Has there ever been a better character than that short, green puppet?  I think not!

We get heightened stakes, too.  There's a reason the reveal of Vader being Luke's father is the most oft-quoted line from the original series - it's the most memorable scene in the entire trilogy!  The villain is the hero's father?  What?!  It turns everything we know in a complete 180, and then we have to wait for Jedi to find out what happens next.

And the stakes aren't the only thing heightened in Empire.  The romance shoots up a notch, too.  We finally get the wonderfully charming relationship of Han and Leia, which I, being a sucker for romance, absolutely love.  "You like me because I'm a scoundrel."  Did you hear that thump?  That was me, swooning!  With the kiss heard 'round the Falcon, their bickering and flirtatious arguments escalate to a whole new level, and the chemistry between them is more than sufficient to carry the plotline.  Well done Ford and Fisher!

The Bad

Dude, Leia kisses her brother!  GAH!  It's like Angelina Jolie all over again, but worse!

And poor Mark Hamill looks like a nerf-herder throughout the entire film.  See, kids - that's why you just say no to Wampa!

The Verdict

Five stars!  Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back has all the elements it needs and then some, and they combine onscreen for sheer Star Wars perfection!