Elexa Vibrating Ring Condoms Review

 Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. Build a better condom, and you can charge over five bucks each for these puppies and people will buy them by the thousands. Five bucks? Honestly now, for five bucks I can get a room, a girl, some Saki and a duck in Jakarta. This thing better be good, otherwise it's back to the Costco brand that averages out to about twenty-one cents each. That's certainly more reasonable.

There are over thirty different types of condoms for sale at the local CVS Pharmacy where I live. They come ribbed, colored, thin, sheep skinned, extra long, glow in the dark, pleasure for her (whatever). You name it, they have it. Can I get the Trojan Elexa Vibrating Ring Condoms? No, I have to ask and get directed to the Pharmacy where I have to request them. Not only that, but I must also pay for them at the pharmacy window, which I can do right after old lady Spencer gets done asking sixteen questions about her gall bladder medication. I swear to god that if the pharmacist had asked me if I had any questions about the use use of the condoms I would have punched her.

Finally I make it home. Much to the credit of Trojan, the packaging the condoms come in are worthy of the price. Even the plastic foils inside promise a unique experience. At over five bucks a piece, I was a little nervous handling the product which wasn't helping in the experimental area. I knew one rip and that was money out the window, but one moment of ED was time and effort wasted. Thank goodness for my assistant and a half naked picture of Debbie Gibson, or my review would have to end here.

Trojan has always been known for comfort and style, but I must admit that wearing the Elexa made me special. Kinda like Roberto Benini when he won an Oscar for that really depressing Nazi film. It didn't make me want to jump around like an Italian, but the interesting color reminded me of a good Italian Ice I used to buy on hot summer days in the Bronx.

At the base of this thing is a rubber ring. I found it a bit snug, but not too uncomfortable. I thought this thing was supposed to vibrate, but after ten minutes of walking around, jumping up and down, swinging my hips like a hula dancer, nothing was happening. Come to find out that there's this tiny little thing at the bottom you're supposed to squeeze to get the thing dancing and my assistant, who has a better view than me at this point, helped out. Now between the tight rubber ring and the vibrating I feel like a one armed cop directing traffic. It's doing a lot of moving around down there, but nothing much is making sense.

Next comes the full experimentation for my review. With help from my lovely assistant and a Johnny Mathis CD I begin to take notes. My first note is that my assistant seems to enjoy this expensive device a whole lot more than I do. She seems to have lost all of her professional composure and began speaking in tongues while I was wondering if I'll ever get any feeling back down there by next Thursday. Another thing is that this experimentation went on much longer than most, which my assistant again did not share my same feelings about. Trojan says the vibrating can last up to two hours, but doubling my usual fifteen minutes already had me more sweaty than Rob Lowe at a Babysitter's Convention.

Overall I would have to say that the Trojan Elexa Vibrating Ring makes a great gift for Mother's Day or some other girlie type event. Guys however, be prepared. After removing this device you will still feel like you are wearing it for the next three days, so avoid doing anything requiring difficult mental work like watching a ball game or opening a soda. This is not a warning on the label, it's just experience from one hombre to another