Cosmopolitan Magazine Review

I mean really.  Inquiring minds want to know.  Just where are all the women who read this magazine?  Go ahead, raise your hands.  And, are you buying into this?

Okay, just a few things off the top of my head. 

Cosmo had an average paid readership of almost 3,000,000 during 2005.  That's an awful lot of readers, wouldn't you say?  Where are they?  Goodness, that's 3/4s the readership of Time and about the same as Newsweek.  Where are these women?

Background

About four months ago we suddenly started to receive several magazines without having ever ordered them.  Time, Allure, Entertainment Weekly, Maxim and of course, Cosmopolitan.  Just like that they started showing up.

Now actually, I've seen Cosmo for about the last 30 or so years, but I never really read it.  Sure, I might have seen a somewhat racy tag-line on the cover but I never really looked into it.

In fact, until just a few days ago I had never really given it more than a quick scan.  But then it happened.  Cosmopolitan helped me discover something new.  I love discovering new things, don't you?  I discovered a new color!  Okay, overstated.  I discovered a new shade of a color.  I call it Cosmo Red.

Standing in line at check-out at the local Publix, I was behind a young woman who had a full cart of groceries and had her 6 or 7 year-old daughter in the cart as well.  Without warning, from the cart in that shrill style of a 6 or 7 yr-old emanated "Mommy, what's a blended O-R-G-A-S-M?

It took a few seconds for everyone around to decipher and then, discovery time!  At first, I could only see her neck and ears but they started going a shade of red I have never seen before as her hands clenched the handles of the cart.  Almost by reflex she spun around as if to see who was behind her.  Of course I was, and unfortunately I was grinning (I have daughters too).  That color had spread over her entire face.

I don't think any permanent damage was done though.  In a few more seconds everyone (including this red faced mommy) was convulsing in laughter.  Her daughter on the other hand might have something to discuss with her therapist years from now.

So, when I got home I picked up a couple of copies that were on top of a stack of magazines.  I started going through them.

Ladies!  I mean really!

Is this really what occupies your mind?  No, of course I don't mean all of you.  Just 3 million of you.  Wait, with a pass along factor of 3, lets make that 9 million.  Hmmm, there are probably a lot of octogenarians we can probably cull from the potential readership.  And we can probably count out the really young kiddie audience.  Most guys aren't buying it.  Hmmm, know what?  An awful lot of you must be reading this magazine!

Okay

Don't worry, I'm not going to read aloud any more article titles.  I've included photos of three magazine covers.  You can read them for yourselves.

A few more things off the top of my head

• By the time your daughter is 9 or 10 she can read really well
• By 6 or 7 your kid shouldn't be in your grocery cart
• Don't leave this laying around
• Your husband/significant other doesn't have mags like this
• Oh no he doesn't!
• A thousand words often beats the crap out of a picture
• Where were you all when I was between marriages?

My Viewpoint

What you read is none of my business.  But please, stop giving your guy crap about his copy of Maxim.  Next to Cosmo it's virtually The Reader's Digest!  Enjoy!

Regards,

Rudi