Columbian Home Products Company Granite Ware Roasting Pan Review

Long ago when Lyndon Johnson was President and I was 25 years old, I bought a roasting pan.  In the throes of furnishing my first apartment, the time had come for me to roast something and a small family-owned hardware store down the street had just what I needed -- a Granite Ware Roasting Pan.  These things weren't even sold in boxes, someone had just pasted on price stickers and stacked them on a shelf.  I chose the smaller of two sizes, coughed up five dollars in exchange for my purchase and a handwritten receipt in a brown paper shopping bag.  This item was made in America, so I didn't worry about what was in or on it -- just washed off a little dust and it was ready for use.  Those were the good old days.

For the benefit of the young and uninitiated, I should explain that Granite Ware is the patented name for a type of metal cookware which is black with white speckles.  Your grandmother probably has this stuff lurking somewhere in her pantry.  There is a good reason this is called Granite Ware.  That $5 roasting pan has lasted more than 40 years, even outliving some of the Pyrex stuff.  I must have roasted at least 200 things in it.  To say that it can withstand scrubbing with S.O.S. pads is an understatement -- you could take a BLOW TORCH to this type of pan and barely make a dent in the finish.  Late one night as I was washing up, the pan slipped out of my hands and hit the floor with a WHANG that undoubtedly startled my downstairs neighbors and dented the side of the roaster but even that didn't impair its marvelous Yankee functionality and efficient design. 

Ease of storage in a small kitchen was also an important consideration -- the roaster had been carefully designed so that when not in use, the lid could be turned upside down and nested perfectly into the bottom, saving vertical space and allowing other things to be stacked on top of it.  The smaller size I had selected was awkward for the basting and handling of turkeys, capons, and other bigger roasts but this wasn't insurmountable.

I COULDN'T LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE!

Today the little hardware store is gone, the Internet has been invented, and Linens 'n Things are going bankrupt.  As clearance bargain fever ratcheted up, discounts on remaining merchandise were enhanced.  The bathroom scale and towels I snatched up were good investments.  Likewise the dozen each iced tea and water glasses for seven dollars.  Alas, I couldn't stop while I was ahead but became seduced by a picture of a GourmetBuffet Roasting Pan.   My Granite Ware baby was still by my side getting the job done but like an unfaithful spouse, my eye was wandering to this new roaster which was gleaming, gorgeous and (I thought) destined to make a big impression on whatever dinner guests I might dredge up in the future.  That Linens 'n Things couldn't seem to unload their GourmetBuffet inventory should have been a warning flag but when they dropped the price again to $25, I went for it ... hook, line and sinker! 

From the first moment it moved in with me, the GourmetBuffet Roasting Pan was a disappointment.  In the website and pictured on its own box, this pan had been a shimmering vision of stainless steel.  The reality was black smudges and bits of oily gunk stuck to it here and there which had to be washed away with great difficulty coupled with almost boiling water and detergent.  I couldn't imagine what kind of factory would produce something like this until a terrible idea occurred to me.  Drying my hands, I grabbed the box and there was the damning evidence:  "Made in China."  That explained a lot and there ended up being a lot to explain. 

The patented pop-up steam valve didn't work and my bird didn't brown properly using the same process which had worked perfectly in the old roaster.  The steel wasn't stainless but faithfully recorded even casual handprints until furiously polished away with a soft cloth.  The first cooking experience nearly destroyed the shiny finish, discoloring and eroding it hopelessly.  How about that marvelous lift-up tray which was supposed to facilitate removal of the bird from the pan?  It worked but then there I was holding the tray with two hands and no way of transferring the bird from it to the plate.  (Getting a bird out of the smaller old roaster had been difficult but at least something I could handle gracefully on my own.)  I wasted no time washing the pan after dinner but food was already closely adhered to the metal surfaces.  S.O.S. pads not only achieved limited results but caused the bright shiny finish on the rack to crumble like tin foil and begin to peel off.  This was my cue to sit down and write a firm but constructive letter of complaint to someone but I was tired, disgusted and had tossed the box.  I couldn't even give the roaster away because the fragile finish seemed dangerous and potentially poisonous.  I finally ended up sticking my GourmetBuffet Roaster where it belonged -- in the dumpster out back with the rest of the trash.

MY VIEWPOINT:

I respect the hard-working Chinese people who are doing what we all do -- using whatever venue is available to support themselves and their families.  Perhaps good things are made in China but -- considering the state of our own economy, loss of domestic manufacturing jobs, and the crucial importance of quality control in the production of utensils destined for the safe preparation of food -- I wish my new roasting pan had been "Made in Indiana" ... Terre Haute, Indiana, which is the home of the Columbian Home Products Company. 

Since 1871, this firm has been doing the same old thing, year after year -- producing dependable, high-quality products, generating job opportunities and income for Americans, paying American taxes, and caring about what their fellow Americans think about their business.  The marvelous and understated engineering of the Granite Ware Roasting Pan and other Columbian products is mute testimony to the commitment this organization has made to its customers.  As a country, we Americans may have made our share of mistakes but the Granite Ware Roasting Pan is not one of them.

AFTERMATH:

When I came back from my trip to the dumpster, I caught sight of my old Granite Ware roaster still sitting where it had been shoved to one side to make way for the new darling and now exuding a smug "I told you so" indifference.  "Oh, shut up!" I snapped in its direction as I went by.  Later that evening, whilst making another deposit in the dumpster on my way to the 7/11, I was surprised to see that the GourmetBuffet Roasting Pan had alreay been taken, probably by an optimist who thought he or she had struck gold.  I prayed that whoever had taken it was not going to use it for cooking.  I sighed a little but what are you going to do?  Some poor schmucks just have to learn the hard way about roasting pans.  Ask me how I know this!