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Guys - what do you say when...

 
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CyndiA southern, NC posts: 607
2009 VIP
posted on July 31, 2008 at 09:50PM Inappropriate? Quote Reply

You know the drill.

Your special someone asks you if something makes her butt look big or makes her look fat or doesn't look good on her.

If the truth is that she is wearing something wrong, wrong wrong, what do you say?

 

 Moderator
posted on August 01, 2008 at 09:02AM
 

I tell her she looks fine. If I'm really brave, I'll follow that up with, "But I haven't seen you in your [whatever] in a while. How come you don't wear it anymore?" That sometimes does the trick. Sometimes it gets me an icy stare...

--Bob

2009 Writer
posted on August 01, 2008 at 11:16AM
 

My husband always says yes it does... but he likes that so I guess it's alright. 

The thing that gets me is when I ask him if something looks alright on and he answers without even looking.

2009 VIP
posted on August 01, 2008 at 04:17PM
 
My husband always says everything looks fine and I hate it. I really want to know! He is programmed or something to say I look good no matter what I really look like. Now I give him a choice. I will put two outfits on and ask which I look better in. That makes him HAVE to pick one and makes me feel like maybe he's paying attention.

I wish he would just say, "That outfit.doesn't do you justice. I like the red top with those jeans much better." That's a nice way of saying I look awful and to change into something that looks better on me. But noooo, he lets me go out of the house looking frumpy because he's afraid I'll get mad. I wouldn't ask him if I didn't want an answer!
2009 Writer
posted on August 01, 2008 at 04:38PM
 

There is no correct answer to that question. It's the world's greatest conundrum. No matter how a guy answers, it is wrong. Marriages are ruined, lives lost, nations crumble into ruins, and universes collapse in on themselves because of this one simple little question.

I'm so glad I'm not married! d;-)

2008 Advisor
posted on August 01, 2008 at 05:04PM
 
DUI is absolutely, positively, right!  There is no right answer, and in this scenario, the truth is not your friend.  The only safe action upon hearing this question of dangling retribution is to smile with a glazed look in your eyes and say nothing, or pretend you didn't hear and walk away as quickly as possible without raising suspicion. 
 Moderator
posted on August 01, 2008 at 09:32PM
 
On the flip side, my wife often tells me to wear something or not wear something, and it annoys the freakin' hell out of me. Most of the time, I just want to wear something comfortable but she will insist (or do a lot of eye-rolling) that I change into something else for one reason or another. It's not an unwillingness to dress up appropriately -- I'm more willing than most guys to wear a nice shirt, tie and jacket. However, I'm really tired of hearing, "Didn't you wear that t-shirt three weeks ago?" Yes, I did... because it was comfortable.

For the same reason that I don't like to have my clothes critiqued, I hate critiquing the clothes of others. If I'm comfortable, I don't mind looking like an upside-down hot air balloon.

--Bob
2009 VIP
posted on August 01, 2008 at 11:43PM
 
Haha Bob. My husband HATES when I tell him to untuck his shirt. He wears baseball jerseys and tucks them in. It is so wrong on so many levels. He always tells me he LIKES to tuck them in so why do I care and I say because people will think I condone it. Usually that leads to an argument so now I grin and bear the tucked in jerseys and he says everything I wear makes me look like a supermodel. Ain't marriage great? :)
2009 VIP
posted on August 02, 2008 at 10:35AM
 
My husband tells me the truth i.e. that top hits you just in the wrong place :~)
2009 Advisor
posted on August 02, 2008 at 11:39AM
 
In response to CyndiA's post from July 31 2008 09:50PM
This reminds me of a cartoon. Adam and Eve are naked in the Garden of Eden. Eve holds up a big leaf to her rather plump figure and says" ''Does this make me look fat?'' Adam says: ''You look great. By the way, where did you find these apples?''
2009 Advisor
posted on August 02, 2008 at 02:07PM
 

When my husband and I had been dating for about 2 years and I asked him that question. I believe the ACTUAL question was "do you think I look okay when I wear this skirt?"

 He, of course, said yes.

A few days later, he confided in me and said he never really liked the skirt. He knew I did though and wanted to make sure I felt GOOD in it.

At that point we made a promise to be honest with each other and now, four years later, we still are brutally honest.

If something that he's wearing doesn't go together, I'll tell him. Same with me. Just a few days ago I asked him if he liked a shirt I was wearing, and he said that it didn't accent my best features.

And you know what? He was right!  

2009 Advisor
posted on August 02, 2008 at 08:32PM
 
My husband tells me what he thinks, and I usually appreciate it.  Occasionally he gets a little too involved in my choices and I offer to let him dress me if I can dress him. That ends it.
2009 VIP
posted on August 03, 2008 at 06:40PM
 

I just have my sons to ask (-: And, I don't do that often.

Older son will say, "Yes. That looks very nice." (even when it does not)

Younger son will say, "It does make you look a little fat, but you are a little fat. But not much."

I am trying to groom them for the middle ground for future wives. I tell older son that it's OK to say that it's not the most flattering thing in the closet. I tell younger son that too much honesty may not be the best policy.

2008 Advisor
posted on August 04, 2008 at 01:24AM
 
After a few years my husband figured he better tell the truth, and he does.  But I too tell him the truth....don't wear that shirt with those pants, etc....I know the glazed look and the selective hearing trick...neither of which work with me any longer!
2009 Writer
posted on August 06, 2008 at 10:09AM
 

I'm gonna invent a full length, talking mirror, that women can ask how they look in their clothes, and "does this make my butt look big?", etc. If that goes over good, I might just think about getting married again.....

 

Or not.

2008 VIP
posted on August 09, 2008 at 06:03AM
 
In response to CyndiA's post from July 31 2008 09:50PM
All kidding aside, that is a leading question that is bound to provoke hurt feelings. Hers if I answer truthfully, and also mine when she crowns me with the rolling pin. A man dasn't tell the truth in this case. ;>
2008 VIP
posted on August 09, 2008 at 06:07AM
 
In response to DUISparky's post from August 06 2008 10:09AM
This guy certainly knows the square business.  I may not get married again, either. ;>
2009 VIP
posted on August 09, 2008 at 06:51PM
 

OK guys. Love ya. I'll help ya out.

The A+ list of things to say when your lady friend asks how she looks in . . . whatever:

1. You look great in everything and even better in nothing. That's why I love you so much.

2. That's so hot. Now I want to stay home and drool (and save those big bucks - but don't add that part).

3. I like that outfit even better than pot roast with mashed potatoes and gravy.

4. You see fat. I see curves. Thumbs up!

5. That looks very great to me. Now, can you come out in the garage and listen and see if I got the motorcycle tuned up good?

 

2009 VIP
posted on August 10, 2008 at 10:12PM
 

I never ask my husband, I just tell him "i look good in these pants :) "  I don't set myself up for anything :-D  Actually I get annoyed sometimes when my husband tries to weigh in on my clothing or decorating choice :)  For example, our bedroom ceiling and trim is painted forest green, so I picked out brownish bedroom set and drapes and he tried to tell me they won't match... what does he know! 

Basically my point is, if you are a girl that knows your own style, you don't need a mans opinion.  Trust yourself!

2009 Advisor
posted on August 10, 2008 at 10:17PM
 
In response to CyndiA's post from July 31 2008 09:50PM
I might respond with, "I really love THAT, instead"!  Some relationships thrive on the blunt truth all the time, but most can't handle that!
 Community Manager
posted on August 10, 2008 at 10:23PM
 
In response to CyndiA's post from August 09 2008 06:51PM
I love these quotes!!! :) My husband usually tells me the truth. We are a brutally honest HH. Sometimes, however, it is nice to hear that you look better than pot roast and mashed potatoes. :)
posted on September 06, 2008 at 01:54AM
 
well my other is rather blunt at times and then sometimes he can just tell me something special like anything looks beautiful as long as its on you just to make me smile about it. and at times he gives his little suggestions only because he is the one i am walking beside!
2009 VIP
posted on September 06, 2008 at 02:04AM
 
The other night my husband and I were out to dinner and he looked at me and said, "You look really good tonight." I guess I should have taken it as a complement but I was thinking..."and what about every OTHER night?" lol.
posted on September 06, 2008 at 02:08AM
 
In response to CyndiA's post from July 31 2008 09:50PM

Hah this happens alot with me, in my relationship and with my sisters. Best thing to do:

If what their wearing really doesnt look good

"Oh uh...well, its ok, not my favorite, I think you look better in the other blouse"

or

"It clashes with your complexion.......Its just not a good color on you"

Usually how it works with clothes. I have to say it usually makes em feel better when you remind them that you think they look GREAT in the other outfit, that one was just a bad pick lol!

2009 Advisor
posted on September 06, 2008 at 06:56AM
 
In response to PattyTherre's post from September 06 2008 02:04AM
PattyTherre said…
The other night my husband and I were out to dinner and he looked at me and said, "You look really good tonight." I guess I should have taken it as a complement but I was thinking..."and what about every OTHER night?" lol.
And there is one of the many disconnects between men and women.  Men mean it as a comliement, they don't mean you look like crap every other night!!!
2008 Writer
posted on September 18, 2008 at 10:41AM
 
My husband is pretty good about telling me his opinion, even when I don't ask. I love long, summer dresses and he hates them. If I come downstairs in one he is always saying "Why a long one? It's 90 degrees outside." or "They make you look old. Put on a short one." I usually don't listen or tell him I'll change out of the dress if he changes out of his favorite tee shirt that he wears every weekend. We both end up going out in the clothes we originally put on.
2009 VIP
posted on September 19, 2008 at 08:58AM
 
Next time he complains, offer to swap him off the dress for the t-shirt (-: If he found how comfortable they are, then maybe he'd like them better.
2008 Writer
posted on September 19, 2008 at 09:42AM
 

I have came across this situation before...

When I was younger, I would just come straight out and say "hey, what the hell are you wearing?". Of-course as I became older in life, I learned this is not the best way to speak to a woman.

Now, I would not care. LOL! If I cared for this person I don't think it would matter to me if something made those cheeks a little bigger. If we were going to a nice place to eat and this was an issue, I might try to tell her that the outfit just does not work with her shoes, or hair, or something! LOL!

2009 VIP
posted on September 19, 2008 at 08:52PM
 

My husband just told me TONIGHT that he hated a top I wore in June! I have this babydoll top that I wore when we were camping (I have a pic up of me in it on my page, for now anyway...) and he never said a word when I wore it. Tonight, I put on a top and asked if he liked it and he said, "Well, it's way better than that maternity top you wore at camp." Jeeze, he could have told me (not quite that way) then. But I guess he figured I liked it so who was he to say anything? Looking back, it looks exactly like a maternity top and I'm never wearing it again.

2009 Advisor
posted on September 19, 2008 at 09:29PM
 
In response to PattyTherre's post from September 19 2008 08:52PM
PattyTherre said…
My husband just told me TONIGHT that he hated a top I wore in June! I have this babydoll top that I wore when we were camping (I have a pic up of me in it on my page, for now anyway...) and he never said a word when I wore it. Tonight, I put on a top and asked if he liked it and he said, "Well, it's way better than that maternity top you wore at camp." Jeeze, he could of told me (not quite that way) then. But I guess he figured I liked it so who was he to say anything? Looking back, it looks exactly like a maternity top and I'm never wearing it again.

Patty this reminds me of something that happened to me at work.

I wore a shirt one day (I use to work at a community college). I guess the shirt was too big or something. Anyway, a student came up to me and asked "When are you due?" Before I could say anything, a co-worker said "Kris, are you pregnant". That student left the room so quickly. Another co-worker (my best friend) told me you do look pregnant in that shirt. Fine time to tell me now, I said. I went home at lunch time to change clothes.

2009 VIP
posted on September 21, 2008 at 06:42PM
 
In response to CyndiA's post from July 31 2008 09:50PM
My husband will tell me the truth i.e. that top cuts you in the wrong place or I love the way you look today (meaning that what I was wearing yesterday was something he didn't like). He usually doesn't say something is wrong but if I ask he will tell me and that's what I want:)
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