Beauty Discussions

I will fight, also. I color my hair. My mom got breast cancer at the age of 36-38 (I was 8 yrs old and can't remember exactly which). It metastasized and she had to go on radiation and chemo twice more before she passed. She was also in a car accident and lost a leg. Even though she had a pretty good reason for not looking her best, she wanted nice wigs and clothes and such. People do first judge from the outside. She did not like being seen as an invalid any more than I liked being pitied for being 12 yrs old and wheeling her around the mall.

One time my aunt asked her what she wanted for Christmas, and she replied "my right tit." Beauty is only skin deep, but maybe people are afraid to see the person inside when you are hairless, bloated, and in a wheelchair.

I will fight aging. I do not have any wrinkles or anything (yet), but people will make a judgment from what they initially see. I will admit that I do it.

I'm sorry she has passed. I bet she was a wonderful women and looks over you! (Do you know what I mean, she's checking up on you, making sure you are behaving)....I understand what you mean by judging, some people do judge a book by it's cover. I don't believe in that, it's what's inside that counts. If you've seen the picture of what my hubby looked like when we were dating, OH BOY! She thought he was a long haired hippie, and anyone he knew must of been bad news.

I wore bandana's for a time when I lost my hair due to stress, didn't seem to effect anyone's attitude towards me. (I even had a guy hit on me... :) ).  I think some people are afraid to ask, or have their children ask "how come that person is like that?" Would your Mom have minded? I think alot of people were brought up not to ask. I've talkened with people and they don't mind, I think I put them at ease. It's usually during the conversation, then they bring it up. I'm sure some simply don't want to talk about certain things and I respect that. 

I'm not saying I would give up, but like you said beauty is only skin deep. I'm a fighter, but it also in God's hands. So I will age gracefully, and fight to the bitter end. Without surgery.

Uh-oh, Mom knows I have NOT been behaving! XD

One time a woman's child pointed to my mom and said "why is she in a wheelchair?" the mom looked really embarassed, and then someone else in line said "so she can get out and see all the pretty flowers." The kid was happy with that explanation.

So, it is all in the way you look at something.

My father was deaf from age 23. As a kid, I was emabarssed to be with him in public at times because we used intricate hand signals (Not sign, it was our own language) and exaggerated mouth movements so he could understand me. I knew people stared and some would shake their heads in disgust. My father, who was always into looking cool and sharp (I miss that guy!), didn't care what people thought. When a kid went up to him and said "How come you can't hear?" he said "I can't hear what you said but I assume you want to know why I can't hear. My ears are broken." That was enough.Tthe kid was cool with that. My father started wearing a shirt that said "I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you." It threw people off.

Now as I age and I know I will be deaf in time. I have to take the same attitude. But no matter how deaf I get or how wrinkled or how whatever, I will try to look my best. I will try to stay in shape and take a moment to slick on some lip gloss and comb my hair and look put together. For ME. people will think what they want but I feel best when I look put together. So gray hair can fight but won't win and the lure of walking around with sweats and a ratty Tshirt will always be there but I won't give in. I'll take a few minutes to put on nice jeans and a nice top before I go out. I don't do it for THEM. I do it for me.

I am not a terribly religious person but truthfully when I am worrying I found just say "God I am putting this in your hands. You take care of it and decide what is right." It may seem silly but honestly you immediately feel better. Just try it once and see if it doesn't help. Sherry

My Dear Dad had a birth mark covering the whole left side of his face. Kids always asked what is was. We were surprised because is never mattered to us. In 1973 he had to have skin graphs because the birth mark was turning purple and the doctors said it could lead to cancer. After that  when my Dad saw a young person with a facial birth mark he always said he wished he could have the skin graph done for them.

My Mother was and is (in her 70's) an exceptionally beautiful woman. They had a love everlasting. My father passed away in April. He always talked about how beautiful my Mother is. On his head stone it says "Friends and Sweethearts thru Eternity."

SherryCG said…

I am not a terribly religious person but truthfully when I am worrying I found just say "God I am putting this in your hands. You take care of it and decide what is right." It may seem silly but honestly you immediately feel better. Just try it once and see if it doesn't help. Sherry

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It doesn't sound silly. I have handed the reigns over to Him many times. I can't do this all on my own so I ask for help when I need it. I am more spiritual than religious, I guess, but I do believe that God is there for me even when I think He may not be. I haven't lost my faith even when awful things have happened because I just know there are reasons that I don't understand for things that happen.

I try to stay strong and just carry on and only ask for help when I really need it. And I usually ask for help for other people more than for myself.

re:  God, Spiritual Force, Something bigger than me:

I like the saying "I can't.  He can.  I think I'll let him"

I just have to get out of my own way long enough~!

I understand about doing things for yourself and not for others. I do feel better if I look put together and my hair isn't gray. Maybe I'll go the baseball cap route once in a while to avoid the flatiron, but I don't want to wear pajama bottoms or a ripped t-shirt in public unless I totally have to. People can see you have pride in your appearance and that does make a difference. People can have many different styles of dress, but no matter what it is you can tell if they are making an effort.

There was a time that I did not care very much about myself so my appearance went with it.  When I see others dressed like that, I wonder if they aren't happy.

We had pajama day at one of my jewelry shows, it was great~!  They were nice, pants & top jammies and I also wore them to Walmart once, with my lipstick and I brushed my hair lol 

I want more Jammie Days~!

Jammie Day's...lol...My son the other day ran up to the store in his robe and slippers...Lady said to him..."Nice Outfit"....I could never do that...I feel sloppy in Sweats, let alone the way he went....LOL......Honestly I don't know where he gets it.... ;~)

I agree with SherryCG and PattyTherre, I'm not overly religious. I do put my life in God's hand...Like PattyTherre, more spiritual.

I pretty much stick to lotions and potions but I don't like to pay over $50. I have been taking preventative measures since I was in fourth grade so I hope that will help keep my skin looking healthy. I cleanse, exfoliate, tone and moisturize. I try to use products with sunblock and I have just started usig eye serum. However, I know there will still be signs of aging, that's life! I jus hope what I'm doing will lessen the effects of aging.

Both!

I am fighting the good fight, While aging gracefully! Im only twenty nine. My friends swear Im younger than all of them, who are around (the majority) twenty two years old. So Id say Im not doing that bad. I read somewhere Years, ago that the best way to care for wrinkles is to start taking care of them before they ever even show up. Which mad perfect sense to me. It kinda struck me like taking multivitamins. It takes a few weeks for them to kick in.

Wearing Anything with ANY kind of SPF in it helps tons to. Weither it just be a mouisturizer, makeup or just plain old sunscreen, whatever. Protect yourself from those harmful rays!!!

Exfoliating, Is soo important to! Removing dead skin cells gives your face a breath of fresh air, unclogges clogged pores helps keep blackheads under control. And afterwards, don't you just notice your face glowing and more vibrant?

Harmful Rays contribute to the wrinkles and prematuring of the skin! I also use a facial mask that claims to tighten the skin, so I try to keep firmed up, lol. As for a cleanser, I use Neutrogena Anti Oxidant Age Reverse Cleanser, followed by Neutrogena Ageless Restoratives Night Cream.

I drink all the water I can, to keep myself cleaned Inside and out. And Exercise. Yoga is aslo another favorite. Keeping yourself flexible is always great. And who doesn't pair flexability with Youth?

Id like to see anyone bend over, with their knees straight, with their palms flat on the floor when they haven't worked up to it. Whoo!  Good luck!

It is so very true that prevention is key is looking good later on. So many of us who are in our 40's and beyond spent hours in the sun without sunscreen going for that Coppertone tan, having no idea that it could cause premature aging (and skin cancer). My mother in law was constantly in the sun and BOY did her face show it later. It was like leather.

Taking good care of your skin now can make a load of difference later on. Not smoking is another thing you can do to help in your fight against visible aging (and staying alive). Hydration as well is important.

But, as with many things, genetics play a huge part in how we age. Look at your mother or grandmother or aunts, even your father. Many times, you will see how you will age. My mother and all her sisters aged very, very well. None looked their age and the ones still around in their late 70's and early 80's look 15 years younger without any sort of surgery. They do dye their hair and take care of themselves.

I'm hoping that I inherited their genes. My father's side looks good too. He barely had any wrinkles at 78. 

Exercise is a great way to stay in shape and look good. It really helps to keep us young. I don't drink but a glass of red wine a day is supposed to have a load of anti aging benefits. I'm considering buying a bottle and acquiring a taste for red wine, enough to drink a 6 ounce glass every night. It doesn't hurt for sure and there is evidence that it really extends life and makes people look better.

PattyTherre said…

But, as with many things, genetics play a huge part in how we age. Look at your mother or grandmother or aunts, even your father. Many times, you will see how you will age. My mother and all her sisters aged very, very well. None looked their age and the ones still around in their late 70's and early 80's look 15 years younger without any sort of surgery. They do dye their hair and take care of themselves.

I'm hoping that I inherited their genes. My father's side looks good too. He barely had any wrinkles at 78. 

Exercise is a great way to stay in shape and look good. It really helps to keep us young. I don't drink but a glass of red wine a day is supposed to have a load of anti aging benefits. I'm considering buying a bottle and acquiring a taste for red wine, enough to drink a 6 ounce glass every night. It doesn't hurt for sure and there is evidence that it really extends life and makes people look better.

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Exercise is a key to keeping you healthy physically as well as mentally. Good ol' endorphins. It really helped me with sleep, too. I hope I age as gracefully as the other members of my family. Gray hair is probably the worst of it.

I agree about surgery. I don't take any surgery lightly and I would never go in for an optional cosmetic procedure. There are just too many risks. And it seems there are more issues lately then ever. I would consider Restalyne if I had the money when I felt my lines were just making me crazy but that is as far as I would go with invasive procedures. I'd love a mini face lift but even if I had the money I wouldn't do it. I would rather be saggy and alive than a beautiful corpse. Not to mention how taut and fake looking people look after surgery. I want to look my best but not like a wax figurine of myself.

No invasive procedures for me! But I will continue to do all I am doing to stay looking and feeling young! 

I work out frequently, Pilates and Spin. I am a certified Pilates Instructer and I must say it is a fountain of youth for the body and mind.

I am also an Esthetician so I am very skin aware. I love the products I use. They work, keeping my face fresh and youthful. I happen to sell the product as well but no shameless plug here....

For 53, I think I am hanging in there pretty well.

And, genes, what we get passed down to us from our parents has much to do with how we age. I did get lucky there.

Time gets us all in the end. That's not a reason for tears or panic, but accepting it will bring real peace and help you enjoy life.

My own take on aging: take good care of yourself (exercise, skin products, laughter, good diet, etcetera), but don't work too hard to hide the marks of time. Instead, spend the energy to accept your older self and to feel secure that physical age doesn't need to reflect the youth of your spirit! Before you know it, your eye will become trained to notice inner beauty relatively more.

So here's my line...There aren't many of you in your late 50s so keep that in mind:)

I see my folks, they're getting
old, I watch
their bodies
change...
I know they see the same in
me, And it makes us both feel
strange...
No matter how you tell yourself, It's
what we all go through...
Those lines are pretty hard
to take when they're staring'
back at you.
Scared you'll run out of time.  song by Bonnie Raitt