Baby Discussions

{Raises hand}  I'm FIXED and so glad I am....

Yes, KaciOhio ~ mine are both tied and burnt like yours (cauterized).  They wouldn't do it until I was 30 though, since I have only one son.  I'm have never regretted one single day of having them done. 

I should add that in contrast, I have a friend who has 6 children and doesn't want hers tied yet.  I gently remind her that it's a hungry world.  So it is very different for different women.

I wanted to do it when I was 21 and had my first child but no doctor would do it. When I had my second girl I knew I wanted to try atleast one more time for a boy and so this time I had a boy and was having my second C-Section so we had decided early on that since I was having a pre-scheduled c-section that they might as well tie em up while they were in there. I had 8 months to think about it and I had no problem with getting it done I loved the idea of not ever being pregnant again. But after It was done and my little baby boy was growing and it was getting easier with him I wanted another and felt so depressed that I couldnt. I still look at newborns and feel like I shouldnt have done it but its a lot easier to deal with it now :)

I just hold a new, younger baby every once in a while.  That usually does it for me...then I can give 'em back ;)  

(edited out the mean nurse's comment and all the other crap I typed LOL)

Dontcha love the edit button??

Well, me and the Mister have zero children. I know I would not be a good mother. People say your attitude will change once the baby is born, but is that the kind of experiment I want to take part in? No. And the child would agree with me, I am sure. That doesn't mean we never wanted them, though.

I did not have my tubes tied. My husband got a vasectomy because it is less invasive. Still, sometimes I feel melancholy. 

Oh, Nancy44, if you think the nurse making that comment to you made you give her words, how about this? My husband chose to get the vasectomy done 4 days before his 35th birthday. The nurse asked me if this was my birthday present to him. Talk about a random act of smack that face. Super inappropriate. 

I like your attitude Pitcherday ;)

I was wondering when someone was going to utter the V word.  Seems a lot easier to me.

Oh you have no idea how much easier - because once you decide you want to have more children you are stuck with IVF and even a surgery to repair your tubes (depending on how they were done to begin with) 8 weeks of repair time vs 3 days for the man.  I think after doing all we do to have children with the people we love the nicest way you can show your appreciation of me as a mom and wife is to get a vasectomy.  

pitcherday you have a great attitude, you know what you want and you live your life that way making no apologies for it. what a wonderful marriage you must have to have a man accept that. 

I answered this with a long post and, as I went to publish it. Firefox crashed as IT ALWAYS DOES and I lost everything. I am in a rotten mood and I hate Firefox more now than ever. What the heck?

Short answer: No I have not although I don't want more kids. I want hubby to get snipped but he keeps putting it off and hoping I'll just go into menopause. At 45, most women would be there but my doctor says I have the hormones of a 25 year old and that I am very fertile. Wonderful. If I get pregnant, hubby quits work, stays home and takes care of the baby until it's 18. lol lol.

My sons are 19 and 23. I did my duty and I adore them to no end but I am not up to going through it all again. Yikes.

I haven't either, took the pill for many years. Then my hubby said I did my part for so long. He decided to get snippy, snip, snipped.. It was like less than 10 minutes. And it's much easier on the guy then a women. Is that so I can't cheat on him....LOL...I could still get pregnant...When ever the doctors ask, or if I go for a test, they ask any chance your pregnant, I always tell them not unless Martians have come down to earth! They just look at me, like HUH? Duh, someone has had something done, whether it was he or I.....doesn't take a brain surgeon or rocket sciencetist to figure that one out......

Pitcherday, Not everyone wants children, that's not being selfish, or wanting to find out through experiment. I admire that! That's a choice and you have every right to feel the way you do. There is never a right or wrong answer, it's a personal choice.

What is selfish, are people who have kids and do not take care of them, they put themselves first, or there job. I watched a little girl when I was pregnant with our son so much, that she started calling us Mom & Dad...That is sad...That's when my husband and I made the choice that I would stay home. Sure we gave up a lot of things, but that was our choice. And everyone has the right. Oprah knows she wouldn't make a good Mom, same with Racheal Ray, because they wouldn't be there for their children. That is truly honestesy. And there is nothing wrong with the why's. Really it's no one's business but your own.

edited...cause that's a whole 'nuther subject

;)

Sorry... duplicate.

darlyn63 said…

I haven't either, took the pill for many years. Then my hubby said I did my part for so long. He decided to get snippy, snip, snipped.. It was like less than 10 minutes. And it's much easier on the guy then a women.

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It just seems easier because you're not the one getting "snippy, snip, snipped." I got a vasectomy at age 26 because I never wanted kids. I can assure you that it was more complicated than getting a tooth filled. Even at that young age, there was considerable discomfort and a recovery period of several days.

Still, I'm super glad I had it done and never had a moment's regret.

--Bob

My husband wouldn't get snipped...he's a wuss. I couldnt do most birth control, would make me bleed for almost a month straight, some won't work, depression from the pills, I can't take much of anything which is weird, almost no medication, no latex, allergic to milk products. My body just rejects everything! :( I can't even drink alcohol without having severe heartburn and migraines the next day with heavy hangover so I don't do anything fun...

I think tirding tube is wrong.When I was fixing to have my son, this lady at the hospital did mention something like that. I was in so much pain and I was trying to stay on the positive side, so I didn't  say anything to her. Her job was to help me have my baby.

Hi,

O.K. maybe 12 minutes...LOL...I just ment it is far easier on the male then the female. And most insurance companies cover it for guys than for women, why is that anyways? With us, they fill you up with gas so everything is expanded, do the proceedure, and the recovery time is greater for women. I would of gone through it. I'm glad you are happy, and see it was your choice! Koodles to you!

Darlyn and I were discussing this the other day...(hey hun) and I never knew why my insurance wouldn't cover mine either, other than it was elective on my part.  It seemed like it took forever to pay that procedure off.  But I did, and it's done.  TG

Sending Kaci some kinda fun, somehow...Darlyn, I have extra marbles I can give her lol...

;) That's if she's not allergic...weird how I was on the pill from 18-21, then again from 22-30 and it's the only thing that kept my periods regular. 

RudiXeno said…

I was wondering when someone was going to utter the V word.  Seems a lot easier to me.

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I even wrote a review about his particular procedure (link below). No needles, no scalpels, no stitches, little tiny band-aid. So much easier, and less invasive than a tubal ligation.

bkovacs said…

darlyn63 said…

I haven't either, took the pill for many years. Then my hubby said I did my part for so long. He decided to get snippy, snip, snipped.. It was like less than 10 minutes. And it's much easier on the guy then a women.

---

It just seems easier because you're not the one getting "snippy, snip, snipped." I got a vasectomy at age 26 because I never wanted kids. I can assure you that it was more complicated than getting a tooth filled. Even at that young age, there was considerable discomfort and a recovery period of several days.

Still, I'm super glad I had it done and never had a moment's regret.

--Bob

 

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Bob, things have come A LONG WAY since you had yours. My husband had a very easy time. This review is about this procedure and I wrote it to ease guys' fears about vasectomy.

I want spaghetti for some reason, thinking of all this stuff.  I think I'm thinkin' stringy...tying...knives, oops no knives, lasers.  Hi Pitcherday :)

That was a really good review...I'm gonna have hubs read it manana, just so he can see.  Even though he doesn't need it, at least not with me. 

Well since we have no kids yet and want them, nope... but I know for 100% sure I never will, and would never ask my husband to either.  We both hate surgery.  I actually don't know anyone who's had it done and they all managed to stop having kids without surgery.  That's my plan!

pitcherday said…

RudiXeno said…

I was wondering when someone was going to utter the V word.  Seems a lot easier to me.

---

I even wrote a review about his particular procedure (link below). No needles, no scalpels, no stitches, little tiny band-aid. So much easier, and less invasive than a tubal ligation.

---

An excellent review!

My husband refuses to have a vasectomy and I am petrified of anaesthesia after 4 surgeries in the past.....  I won't have a tubal ligation because it is invasive surgery and he refuses for whatever reason.  *roll eyes*

For now I just get a 3 month-shot of birth control hormones.  I really wish he'd just get snipped, though.  We both agree that we don't want children.

A good friend of mine, her husband was a wus. He was afraid of the procedure, Ouch poor baby....Like having children is a piece of cake....lol.....She ended up going through the tubal lig. she was so uncomfortable for days....Yes, it is invasive. For a guy, well you get to know what it feel like to be put in the stir-ups....saddle up!!!! LOL....If a guy cares I think he would do it, and not put it on the women. We have enough going on.......OOOps dinner time...

vivasuzi said…

Well since we have no kids yet and want them, nope... but I know for 100% sure I never will, and would never ask my husband to either.  We both hate surgery.  I actually don't know anyone who's had it done and they all managed to stop having kids without surgery.  That's my plan!

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I also think we all know someone who despite their best efforts not to, got pregnant anyway. My friend had the Mirena IUC placed and got pregnant two months after the birth of her son. So, you know what they say about the best laid plans...

What happens if you are married and get pregnant accidentally? I wouldn't have an abortion, but what would people think of a married couple giving up their baby for adoption? I might be willing to suffer the looks and comments for a few years to give the baby a chance for a happy life. Having the surgery means no one has to suffer.

pitcherday said…

Bob, things have come A LONG WAY since you had yours. My husband had a very easy time. This review is about this procedure and I wrote it to ease guys' fears about vasectomy.

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I read your review and it is excellent -- thanks for sharing! I still stand by what I said, though.. it's easy for a woman to think there's nothing much to getting a vasectomy because it isn't happening to her. I'm not saying that I walked around like a chimpanzee for a couple of weeks, but there was definitely some discomfort.

If you ask men about who should get sterilized, a significant percentage will say that the woman should... because it's such a simple procedure. I'm not saying they're right. I'm just saying that we all need to watch our gender bias. Something unpleasant is always easier if it happens to someone else.

--Bob

Is there a gender bias? I kind of thought it was case-by-case. If you are in a committed relationship, you'll have the conversation. I think the consensus is that no one wants surgery and both of them require recovery times. Generally speaking, tubal ligation is more invasive. I seriously doubt there is a high mortality rate associated with it.

If you just take a random poll, maybe men will say the women should do it. I don't really care about men, just one man. It's a personal conversation, and if he was against it so much, I would have gone under the knife. I'd like to think people in relationships aren't strong-arming each other into sterilization surgery, emotionally speaking.

If you are single and don't want kids ever, then you should be the one to do it, no matter which gender you are.

Well I took that risk the second I got married, knowing pills are only 99% effective.  I would love and care for any child.  Obviously we had planned to wait until we were completely ready, but I knew as soon as we got married that whatever happened happened.  It might have actually been easier if the pills fail because then I wouldn't have time to think about pregnancy and the 9 months of torture!

Surgery means I have to suffer (or my husband would).  I'm never doing it.  If it means I accidently get pregnant after we are "done" so be it.  I believe in fate and that you can't plan everything in life (because if you try to then you just stress when your plans fail)

You may feel differently because you never want kids.  I do want kids so I'll take whatever comes my way!  

BTW - I don't agree that single people should just go get surgery right away.  When I was younger, I didn't think I wanted kids (mostly because I was scared of actually having them).  What if I had done surgery way back then?  Things change as you grow up and things change as you find someone you love.  So 10 years ago I may have said I don't want kids, but 5 years ago I would be saying "maybe" and now I want them.

Wellll, I didn't suffer through my surgery or afterwards at all~!  I had the weekend to recover after a Friday lasering through my belly button. 

I was single, not in a relationship and had planned my surgery for 8 years.  My son's father and I also planned our son, and I'm very glad I STOPPED after one.  I can't speak for him, he wasn't around much and I did the absolute best that I could. 

I totally agree that single people should have the choice too.  Marital status biased much vivasuzi?    Not a thing has changed in my mind or in the mind of my uterus.  I'm glad I made up my mind then and am very happy today being 1000% sterile.  I hope you have lots of kids, as many as you want.  And I hope you don't get jinxed.

I never said they shouldn't have the choice, I just don't think they should jump into anything rash.  I'm just saying that if I personally had done this when I was younger and single, I would fully regret it now. 

Btw - Everyone's opinion is biased based on things that have happened in their life.  It doesn't make their opinion wrong.  The point of a message board is to discuss varying opinions and I answer for myself and try to give reasons why I believe the way I do.  It doesn't mean anyone's opinion is wrong, it just means it's different.  

I would rather not have to feel like my opinion doesn't matter just because I'm married, or "childless" in another thread.  A person's personal situation should not make their opinion any less valid.

It's just like you're saying "well, you got married so you take the chance!"  anyone who has sexual intercourse takes a chance. and I thought you were implying that all your friends had just stopped when they wanted kids with traditional form of contraception, so it's pretty easy w/o surgery.

I didn't think your opinion was wrong. It just seemed like a blanket statement that no one needs surgery. Obviously, I don't have a "come what may" attitude concerning having children. Bob had his surgery and doesn't regret it. Lots of doctors do counsel younger people on surgical sterilization.