Baby Discussions

My brother asked for two toilet plungers for Christmas. My Mom tried to figure out why he wanted those. Our toilets were not bad about stopping up.

Turned out that he thought he could tie those to his legs and walk up the wall and the ceiling.

He didn't get toilet plungers. Mom told him that they would not hold his weight to do that.

Well, I wasn't scratching my head but I was very embarrassed. When my son was about three, I was getting ready to go grocery shopping for a few things and he was going with me. I was young and was wearing a tube top (Remember those??). My son asked me where the straps were and I said there wasn't any and he asked how the top stayed up and I said it was like a big rubber band kind of thing that hugs my body and stays up. He seemed totally content with that.

At the store, he was in the front of the cart and I was pushing him along. Suddenly, out of the blue, he pulled my tube top completely down. In a crowded grocery store. I almost fainted. I quickly pulled it back up (no bra underneath!) with one hand while fending him off with the other. I was mortified. I was about to tell him not to do that again when, sure enough, he did it again!

I couldn't stand it. I pulled my top up and just took off, leaving my cart and carrying my kid out of the store. In the car, he couldn't understand why I was so upset. I asked him why he pulled my top down and he said that he wanted to see my top hug me and he couldn't see its arms.

Maybe he couldn't see my top's arms. but EVERYONE saw my, uh....girls. Ugh. That was Dan, Mr----X here, and he swears he never did such a thing. That isn't something one would forget, trust me. lol.

My little guy is almost 3... pretty much everything he does right now we look at him with astonishment. 

One of the last things that blew us away - We were driving and out of the blue he says "fishie... river."  Now some of you may think he was putting the two together that there are fish in the river... nope.  I could tell by the way he said it that he was remembering the time about 3 months ago when he and daddy had taken one of our dieing fish and placed it into the river.  Amazing memory.

 

I have a funny one about how my girls seem to know more than I do about Christmas. In 2006, I found myself having to hunt for Baby Jesus every night before bed. The girls would hide the Baby Jesus from the nativity scene every imaginable place. They had already broken Joseph, one of the shepherds and probably a few other pieces, but we still had Mary and Jesus, a donkey and a wise man. I remembering hunting for Jesus and finding him in the toy barnyard in the chicken nest. I thought, "Geez...my kids are so irreverent." As I was picking up Jesus to put him in his "proper" place, I began to think about how Jesus was born in a manger in a stable. Jesus slept in the chicken nest that night and I gained a bit more respect for my kids.

This came out of the mind of my 2 year old grandson.  He is soon to be a big brother and seems to be struggling with the concept as well as the attention that Mom is getting because of the "baby".  The other day he kept pulling up her blouse and sticking his head under the fabric.  When asked about his odd behavior he simply stated that he was trying to see where the baby comes out because he wanted to take him out right then so that HE [the 2 yr old] could go back inside! 

Oh gosh, my 27 year old is a doctor - a 3rd year sugical resident. It blows my mind that she rarely (only if pushed) called my mom while in rehab with a fractured knee and NOW - well hubby had a prostrate problem i.e. surgery - he's consulted with her over the year about it and she hasn't called. Sigh....

My son is nearly 3, and according to him, my husband can fix anything. And I mean anything.

Broken toy school bus? Fixed!
Broken diaper? Fixed!

 A couple of weeks ago he was playing outside while my husband was cleaning our AC. It was cute - Jack (our son) was following a cricket in a little game. All of a sudden we heard a whimper and "Oh no! Cricket broken!" followed by  "Daddy fix?" when he took the squished insect to my husband to be fixed. Needless to say he was hearbroken when we couldn't mend the insect.

When my oldest son (now 10) was about 2 he began grabbing at..."things". We were at The Olive Garden with my mother-in-law when the waitress came over to take our order.  My son turned to the side in his highchair, put his hands out and uh..well...grabbed both of the waitress's boobs. (honk) My face turned every shade of pink and red all within about 10 seconds. I kept saying OMG, I'm so sorry. She was red, I was red. :0 For months after, my mother-in-law insisted that maybe my son saw someone doing that at the babysitters and that maybe he should see someone about it ... blah blah blah. UGH, thankfully after several other victims, he stopped doing it. Don't think I won't mention that to his wife someday!  

Oh gosh. These are funny! Tks for sharing.

My kid I just took to college told his preschool class that his Dad worked for the Navy and his Mom worked in the bedroom.

Ouch.

That's the only place the computer would fit, and I was writing.

Thankfully the teacher mentioned it. I explained that I wrote on the computer in the bedroom. I also told my son the right word for my work - writer and not bedroom worker.

OMG... most of these are sooo funny. Mine can't talk yet, but I'm sure when he can I'll have some stories.

The one I have now is more disturbing that anything... it kind of partners up with Patty's story. A couple weeks ago my son and I were playing on the couch in our jammies. He does this thing where we stands next to where I sit and leans on my shoulder. So he was standing like that watching t.v. so I pretended to sleep (laid my head back and started play snoring). Next thing I know I feel a chomp on one of my "girls" as Patty put it. He actually broke skin! I don't know what possessed him to bite there... he wasn't even breast fed... for that I am now grateful. It took a couple of weeks for that to heal... but needless to say I pretend to sleep with my eyes open now. :)

Oops... hit submit twice

Well, my 4-year-old provides me with a wealth of opportunities to control myself. Just yesterday I came home from a meeting. My husband was watching my three lovely daughters. I knew it would probably be a good one when my husband greeted me at the door with "You've got to see what your child did." Hmmm.....

We had read a Junie B. Jones book about when she decided to cut her hair. WE even had a conversation about how that wasn't a very good idea right after we read it. Oh, the 4-year-old not only cut a hunk out of the middle of her bangs, she also cut off her 11-month-old sister's baby curls.

Well, I think I'll watch monkeysee.com tomorrow and see if I can learn how to cut hair....

When we lived in New York, we had an apartment in a high rise building. Our apartment was on the 11th and top floor.  We had a door that went outside to a terrace.  It was a couple of weeks before Christmas and I wanted to do some shopping. My husband came home after his night shift and agreed to watch our then 2 year old son so I could go out. So off I went.  I was only gone about 3 hours.  When I got home my son came running up to me yelling "Daddy locked out".  I asked my husband what happened. 

At that time he was a smoker.  He went out onto the terrace in his long-johns to smoke a cigarette and left the terrace door cracked open.  Well my son ran over and slammed the door shut and then turned the lock.  He stood there laughing at my husband through he window.  My husband kept asking him to open the door and when my son realized he couldn't he panicked and started to cry hysterically.    

Now my husband is in work boots and long-johns....he climbed up the side of the building to the roof to enter the building through the roof stairs.  He gets up there and the door to the stairwell is locked!  That door is never locked.

He climbed back down and was able to kick out the wall air conditioner and climb in through the wall back into the apartment.

He quit smoking shortly after that.

Here's a new one:

Jack is nearly 3, and I was doing dishes. He was finishing his dinner and being pretty quiet. It was pretty nice.

All of a sudden I look over there and he is using the curtains to clean his tray! I ask him what he's doing and he proudly says, "helping Mommy clean up!"

I didn't know whether to be mad that my curtains were now stained with spaghetti sauce and that I wasn't watching or be proud that he was trying to help.

AngiBowman said…

Here's a new one:

Jack is nearly 3, and I was doing dishes. He was finishing his dinner and being pretty quiet. It was pretty nice.

All of a sudden I look over there and he is using the curtains to clean his tray! I ask him what he's doing and he proudly says, "helping Mommy clean up!"

I didn't know whether to be mad that my curtains were now stained with spaghetti sauce and that I wasn't watching or be proud that he was trying to help.

---

I hope you go that one on video!!

AngiBowman said…

Here's a new one:

Jack is nearly 3, and I was doing dishes. He was finishing his dinner and being pretty quiet. It was pretty nice.

All of a sudden I look over there and he is using the curtains to clean his tray! I ask him what he's doing and he proudly says, "helping Mommy clean up!"

I didn't know whether to be mad that my curtains were now stained with spaghetti sauce and that I wasn't watching or be proud that he was trying to help.

---

Of all nights it would be the spaghetti sauce too.... Geez.

I have been enjoying your stories on this thread especially Patty's.

My friend's 8-month old son has been saying Dada (daddy). He has done a few funny things. The one that stands out is this: One day, she was tickling his stomach and he had gas. I asked him (not expecting him to answer) "Who taught you to do that?" He answered "Dada, Dada, Dada!" He answered so proudly. We were laughing so hard we were crying at this one.

lilsquibb said…

AngiBowman said…

Here's a new one:

Jack is nearly 3, and I was doing dishes. He was finishing his dinner and being pretty quiet. It was pretty nice.

All of a sudden I look over there and he is using the curtains to clean his tray! I ask him what he's doing and he proudly says, "helping Mommy clean up!"

I didn't know whether to be mad that my curtains were now stained with spaghetti sauce and that I wasn't watching or be proud that he was trying to help.

---

Of all nights it would be the spaghetti sauce too.... Geez.

---

I can relate. My oldest cleaned the sliding glass doors for me. He used Aim toothpaste (very bright) and his toothbrush which was mashed flat. He plastered the glass doors up as high as he could reach. I gasped first, then thanked them, and finally showed him Windex.

My 18 month old is very polite, and modest, whenever you hand her something she says "Thank you." However, whenever she hands you something, she says "Thank you." We're working on the "you're welcome" part, but she's not having any of it.

We recently started potty training her, at first I would open the door and let her walk in then quickly set her on the potty chair, hand her a brush, cup, or book, and she's happy...but won't go. She has to shut the door, not me, her. She must shut the door. And if she doesn't have a towel, book, or wad of TP covering her legs she won't go. And no boys allowed! Daddy has to stand facing away from her or else. Two years ago, I never dreamed I'd be potty training anyone. Much less someone as strange as she is.

 Also, if you pick her up facing you, and you say "Ouch!" She'll head butt you...don't know what's up with that!

When my niece was three I took her outside to play. I turned around for a few seconds to chase after a bouncy ball we were playing with, when I turned back around she had a roach in her mouth . She ate half of it before I could get it out of her mouth. I was disgusted and she just had a big smile on her face.

When we had went to the doctor to look at our first sonogram on my youngest, my oldest daughter had spoke up and said, "she's got my forehead". We all just stopped and burst out laughing. Turns out, my youngest daughter does have an almost identical forehead as my oldest except a small freckle. lol

My youngest niece has always been sneaky but never smart enough to get away with anything. If forced to eat someting she doesn't like she'll show us a clean plate and go back to playing. A check of all the trash cans in the house usually reveals where the food went. She seems to think hiding it in different places is the best MO. One time I found several pieces of meat in the bathroom trash can. I had to ask her "Meghan why didn't you just flush it down the toilet?" She didn't know.

Years ago I was sick with the flu and was waiting in a very large, crowded doctor's office. A young girl was roaming around and came right up to me.

"Do you have a pee pee?", she suddenly asked. Her mother's face turned pretty red but I was unphased and just said "Yes". It was harder dealing with reassuring the overly embarassed mom than the curious child. 

 

 

PattyTherre,

I was LOL so hard reading your story, and some of the other's to funny...I have to get my marble rolling to remember what my children did when they were little. Long time ago....

I read about this one the other day and thought I'd pass it along to give everyone a laugh. I haven't verified whether or not it's the truth, but it sure sounds like something that could very possibly happen.

A mom said her child asked her what her sanitary napkins were for. The mom decided to tell the child that they were for "special occasions." A few days later the mom was bustling around the house getting ready for company and asked the child to set the table. The doorbell rang and she let everyone in. The guests (and the host) were amazed to see--you guess it--placed in the middle of each plate.

Katrena,

 That is a very cute story. Children are so amazing!!