An Encyclopedia of Assholes Review

Subtitled "Scumbags, Slimeballs, Sleazoids, Lowlifes, and Jerks Etc" I had very high hopes for entertaining reading when I picked up this book at a downtown Austin independent book shop. What I found was entertaining, and very well written, but without any nominations that would have intelligent, rational humans either jumping up in defense of the proposed sphincter or at least thinking "maybe not such a gaping one after all..."

For the most part, you read this book and you nod in approval.

The book is divided into sections with gaping sphincters from the realms of politics, media, the corporate world, film, music, and sports. Naturally, politics is the biggest section, though I think with a little bit of research and guts, the authors could have beefed up the corporate sphincter chapter to be at least as large and noteworthy. After all, if they name Wal-Mart as a sphincter (quite justifiably, I might add), then how can they not name McDonald's? McDonald's is at least as horrendous a corporate citizen as Wal-Mart (as you know perfectly well if you paid even passing attention to Britain's infamous McLibel suits a few years back).

The political chapter is perhaps the most entertaining, and I like that it includes both American and British gaping sphincters in equal balance. After all, you shouldn't include gapers like the incompetent American president, George W. Bush, if you don't include his spineless lackey in the UK, Tony Blair. And indeed, both make the list...as do other Bush Administration gigantic flatullating anuses, such as Dick Cheney.

The media chapter had me howling in glee at the inclusion of such morons as Simon Cowell the untalented and mean spirited, Paris Hilton, the untalented but delightfully sleazy-sexy, Don Imus the untalented and just plain stupid, and of course, media sphincter to top all sphincters, the untalented moron that our newest U.S. Senator so aptly described as a "Big, Fat Idiot" --- none other than the drug-addicted, anti-American cowardly buffoon of conservative radio, Rush Limbaugh. A sphincter for sure!

The sporting chapter is surprisingly short, and too American-centric. I'm sure other countries have plenty of class-A rear-end wipers that we could laugh at. Of course Tonya Harding, O.J. Simpson, and Mike Tyson have all worked hard to earn their sphincter credentials, but surely there are many, many more cheats, scoundrels, and low-lifes of the sporting world.

What I would have liked would perhaps be less emphasis on famous sphincters, and more emphasis on introducing us to lesser known and possibly even larger, more widely gaping sphincters. For example, the Darwin Awards certainly give us a glimpse into the utter stupidity of people who fully deserved to die, and the Smoking Gun website gives us insight into some everyday gapers. I suppose the problem though is that there's just so many pages in a book and SOOOOO many huge sphincters in the world.

The book is surprisingly well-written and researched, with accurate descriptions of the events that earned each individual or organization their spot in this book.

It's an easy book to read, with short bio segments of just a few pages. It makes for easy, tongue-in-cheek (not THAT cheek!) bathroom reading.

Check it out if you're so inclined. It's for sale on Amazon...